FMB Fanclub

[Tempty]

LOL Lugger only place I've boycotted recently is my local spar!!!!
Daft b***ers insisted I take my bike helmet off ..... after first saying hello to me LOL
I've been nipping in there wearing it for years!!! ...... not as if they don't know who I am!!! And suddenly me being a biker makes me more likle to be a theif ROTFLMAO

not been in there since!!

[Sapphire]

Errrr and whats wrong with moving the business down south ?

sapphire

[veilside01702]

Paddy Power

The Inland Revenue decides to audit Paddy, and summons him to an appointment with the most thorough auditor in the office. The auditor is not surprised when Paddy shows up with his solicitor.

The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the Inland Revenue finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Paddy. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "Okay. You're on!"

Paddy says, "I'll bet you a thousand pound that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Paddy removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw drops.

Paddy says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand pound that I can bite my other eye."

The auditor can tell Paddy isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Paddy removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realises he has bet and lost three thousand quid, with Paddy's solicitor as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Would you like to go double or nothing?" Paddy asks. "I'll bet you six thousand pound that I can stand on one side of your desk and pee into that rubbish bin on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way Paddy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Paddy stands beside the desk and unzips his trousers, but although he strains like hell, he can't make the stream reach the bin on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realising that he has just turned a major loss into a big win. But Paddy's solicitor moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the solicitor. "This morning, when Paddy told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me £20,000 that he could come in here and **** all over your desk - and that you'd be happy about it!"

[LuggerBugs]

Cos every factory that closes in our town is another nail in it's coffin.

But that's OK. We've still got our fishing industry.

OOPS. No we haven't. Cos our wonderful government thinks it's better that Spanish and French fishing boats decimate our seas than have a fleet of our own. So lets all burn our boats. Fantastic idea.

Feckers.

[veilside01702]

I'm with you on this LB....
I live next to Leigh On Sea......used to be a great thriving cockle and fishing town....
Most of the boats are gone now.....
Blasted Goverment signed all our fishing rights away......so the spanish and french can fish in our waters and we can't.......
They have virtually wiped out all fish off our shores......
GGGGRRRRRRRRRRR............

[Sapphire]

Sometimes I wish I never asked

sapphire

[enaid]

Anyway Tim won Sapphire, brill game think he may be Knackered now though!

[Sapphire]

Yes he won, but he made a right meal of it didn't he. Never mind he's through to the next round

sapphire

[mistie]

Tim..Who ??????

[veilside01702]

MISTIE........oooooo......HENMAN of course.........lol

[enaid]

Henman, it's Wimbledon fortnight, He is one of us, but not always a winner alas.

[mistie]

OH Tennis...only playing with you...

not my thing men in white shorts......give me ufc anyday

[enaid]

I'll have to ask mistie, although a little nervous what is ufc.
If I didn't ask I wouldn't sleep tonight and that's no good to me

[Paradox]

Untimely Fashion Cock-ups???

[veilside01702]

Mistie was that UFC or KFC.......???..........lol
Ultimate fondling championship......lol