What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

[FlamingParrot]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

Have you ever heard of equality, and at the risk of being thumped by PlanB and FP...Ladies?

No, never!

[IanM]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

I wonder how this thread would have played out if the original post was by FredericaD!

[gravytrain]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

I wonder how this thread would have played out if the original post was by FredericaD!

I think we all know the answer to that, I wonder if anyone is brave enough to say it,

[Inca]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

If the OP had been female and posted exactly the same issues,,she would have got exactly the same advice.

[gravytrain]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

If the OP had been female and posted exactly the same issues,,she would have got exactly the same advice.

Really all the inferences about the OP living i the dark ages when men ruled the roost, all the accusations of male chauvinism, how would that work ?

[Inca]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

Oh,,I do apologise,,I inadvertantly missed out..........same advice FROM ME.

[Eloise01]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

If the OP had been female and posted exactly the same issues,,she would have got exactly the same advice.

Same advice except "she" would have been told that equality does not mean acting like "she" had more rights than her husband, and she could neither force someone to love her nor impose her own moral views on her children. And that violence against an individual (male or female) is not a delusion on their part.

[gravytrain]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

Same advice except "she" would have been told that equality does not mean acting like "she" had more rights than her husband, and she could neither force someone to love her nor impose her own moral views on her children. And that violence against an individual (male or female) is not a delusion on their part.

Quote Eloise

"This is the 21st century and not the 16th. You cannot MAKE someone respect you."

Lot of women making their other half respect them in the 16th century was there ? Also not sure about the parent not imposing morality on their children, I thought that this what what parents did. As a father of four i can tell you that no children are born with a sense of morality, so where else would they get it from ?

[jon1965]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

Maybe not the 16th but actually in the 17th and 18th centuries there were an awful lot of powerful women

[jon1965]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

Ouch you big bully

[wfcfan1964]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

Having read the majority of this thread, I can sympathise fully with the original poster. I am in exactly the same situation with my wife having left the family home. She left our daughter with me and we communicated for two weeks. I was even stupid enough to respond to her requests to take her items from the family home. I also spent some time iin her flat.
The day after I spent an hour with her havingtaken her an electric blanket, I reeived a non molestation order that had been granted without my knowledge. I was to attend court the following day as she was applying to take our daughter. The application was full of lies, including saying that my mental health was deteriorating and that our daughter was my carer. She was at risk. The judge ordered us to come to an agreement and the result was that our daughter was with myself the majority of the time. If she was at risk, why agree to this?
I am fighting the non kolestation order but in the meantime will keep contact to a minimm and only when making arrangements for our daughter. I am however very worried that she will lie in order to get me arrested. As a result, I will not go anywhere near her flat or place of work. I will record all contact. Any other suggestions?

[PlanB]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

I'm sorry to hear this wfc, and I think you're right to play it by the book. Stay away from your wife if you suspect she could use any contact you have with her against you. You haven't said how old your daughter is but if she can arrange her own 'comute' between her parents this would lessen any risk of false accusations. I would also keep a detailed diary of everything including all calls and texts (and an itemized phone bill to prove that you haven't made repetitive calls if challenged on this point). This may seem obsessive but if you ever need to provide the court with evidence of your good conduct you'll be able to show them your diary. Is the NMO everlasting or does it have an end or review date?

It's nice to learn that you are still able to spend plenty of time with your daughter

[Eloise01]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

I'm sorry to hear this wfc, and I think you're right to play it by the book. Stay away from your wife if you suspect she could use any contact you have with her against you. You haven't said how old your daughter is but if she can arrange her own 'comute' between her parents this would lessen any risk of false accusations. I would also keep a detailed diary of everything including all calls and texts (and an itemized phone bill to prove that you haven't made repetitive calls if challenged on this point). This may seem obsessive but if you ever need to provide the court with evidence of your good conduct you'll be able to show them your diary. Is the NMO everlasting or does it have an end or review date?

It's nice to learn that you are still able to spend plenty of time with your daughter

I agree. The correct manner in which to deal with any court order is to comply to the point of overdoing it. You might go further than keeping a diary of events, and ensure that all conversations between you are either in the presence of a third party witness, or possibly even, accidentally get recorded. Whilst the evidential value of recordings is still open to debate in courts, it is hard to argue that something was said if there is an accurate record of what was said.

If you use a pay as you go mobile, this may not provide you with a record of incoming and outgoing calls - if it does not you should consider switching to a contract phone if you can.

[labman]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

If you use a pay as you go mobile, this may not provide you with a record of incoming and outgoing calls - if it does not you should consider switching to a contract phone if you can.

On a purely practical point, if money is difficult at present, or for any reason your credit history is not good, this does not mean you cannot get a contract. Most networks now do SIM only, 30 day rolling contracts, where credit checks are limited only to confirming your name and address. Indeed I switched from renewing a 24 month contract to one of these as it was better value for money, giving me 10 hours of monthly usage to mobiles or landlines, 5000 texts and 0.5GB internet usage for just £12.00 per month.

[MissFM]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

Having read the majority of this thread, I can sympathise fully with the original poster. I am in exactly the same situation with my wife having left the family home. She left our daughter with me and we communicated for two weeks. I was even stupid enough to respond to her requests to take her items from the family home. I also spent some time iin her flat.
The day after I spent an hour with her havingtaken her an electric blanket, I reeived a non molestation order that had been granted without my knowledge. I was to attend court the following day as she was applying to take our daughter. The application was full of lies, including saying that my mental health was deteriorating and that our daughter was my carer. She was at risk. The judge ordered us to come to an agreement and the result was that our daughter was with myself the majority of the time. If she was at risk, why agree to this?
I am fighting the non kolestation order but in the meantime will keep contact to a minimm and only when making arrangements for our daughter. I am however very worried that she will lie in order to get me arrested. As a result, I will not go anywhere near her flat or place of work. I will record all contact. Any other suggestions?

All forms of bullying are abhorrent to any civilised person and being branded a bully when you’re not is in itself a form of bullying, as people make the assumption that “there is no smoke without fire”. A friend who is also caught in a Kafkaesque situation following false accusations and an NMO has found “families need fathers” helpful: http://www.fnf.org.uk/home
What do you do if you have an NMO slapped on you when you have genuinely done nothing wrong? You have to PROVE your on-going innocence as described in the above advice, which it would be wise to follow to the letter. This would obviously be necessary/deserved if the NMO were justified. If, however, it is being used as a pre-emptive tactical device – and all too often it is - then it really isn’t either fair or in keeping with the Great British Justice system but on the face of it you have little redress.
If you believe (after ruthlessly honest soul-searching) that the NMO isunjustified and if it occurred as a result of your about-to- be-Ex consulting a solicitor who encouraged a confrontational approach, then one route might be to complain about the solicitor. The Law Society and the SRA are moving more and more towards cracking down on lawyers who “crank things up” and they (the LS) are promoting conciliatory/mediation based measures, most particularly in Family Law. If you phone (the SRA), they are IME helpful in that, although they won’t give legal advice or any opinion on your situation, they will tell you how to go about complaining, who to complain to and may “make a note” of the firm you have a grievance against and why.
http://www.sra.org.uk/consumers/problems/report-solicitor.page
See also:
http://www.resolution.org.uk/editorial.asp?page_id=26 for the recommended approach to relationship breakdown for solicitors practising Family Law.
I truly hope that you will find a happy (or at least workable) resolution, both for yourselves and most particularly for your children.