Child custody dispute

[Daisyberwick]

Hi thank you for accepting my request
I'm currently going through a custody case for my 12 yo daughter. She is on the child protection register because I hit her on a couple of occasions (once with an implement) although it happened twice, it is very rare for me to be physical with her, but she did push me to the limit....also we were going through a very tough time. My ex husband now wants residency and has a very spiteful lawyer. The first hearing was with a very understanding judge who saw things for what they are and ordered a section 7, but the second hearing was with a judge who seemed to be echoing my ex's lawyer and wants a section 37. Now I am very scared. I have no legal representation. I am up to my ears in paperwork and feel railroaded. Has anyone got any advice for me??

[Kati]

Re: Child custody dispute

Hi [MENTION=88892]Daisyberwick[/MENTION] to LB xx

I'm sure you will get lots of help and advice from the knowledgeable Beagles ... and I know we'll all support you through this :grouphug:

I'll tag [MENTION=15129]Crazy council[/MENTION] and [MENTION=8640]leclerc[/MENTION] for you to start with :nod:

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

Hi thank you for accepting my request
I'm currently going through a custody case for my 12 yo daughter. She is on the child protection register because I hit her on a couple of occasions (once with an implement) although it happened twice, it is very rare for me to be physical with her, but she did push me to the limit....also we were going through a very tough time. My ex husband now wants residency and has a very spiteful lawyer. The first hearing was with a very understanding judge who saw things for what they are and ordered a section 7, but the second hearing was with a judge who seemed to be echoing my ex's lawyer and wants a section 37. Now I am very scared. I have no legal representation. I am up to my ears in paperwork and feel railroaded. Has anyone got any advice for me??

Hello, Daisy

First and foremost no one is here to judge any person including you. For custody matters, the judge has to look at the 'best interests' of the child. If there is a threat of harm to the child, then the judge has to take that into account too. The test is normally 1) harm, and 2), significant. You're simply permitted to discipline your child however the law steps in if the discipline goes a step too far. Since 'baby P' there tends to be an over reaction to the harm tests. May I ask you what type of implement you used? Were you for instance charged with criminal assault. I am just trying to establish your facts so I/ other here can help you in the right direction.

[Diana M]

Re: Child custody dispute

the second hearing was with a judge who seemed to be echoing my ex's lawyer and wants a section 37. Now I am very scared. I have no legal representation. I am up to my ears in paperwork and feel railroaded.

Hello Daisy,

Family Law is not my area of knowledge but I have been divorced and I have fought a custody battle so I can understand how scared you must be feeling. Nothing is more worrying than the feeling that someone can take your child away from you.

Since your daughter is 12 years old she will have a voice in all this. Her wishes will be sought too.

Have you checked to see if you may be entitled to Legal Aid so you can have proper legal representation? There's a bit of information about that on this website (a charity) > http://childlawadvice.org.uk/informa...y-law-matters/

Di

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

Hi thank you for accepting my request
I'm currently going through a custody case for my 12 yo daughter. She is on the child protection register because I hit her on a couple of occasions (once with an implement) although it happened twice, it is very rare for me to be physical with her, but she did push me to the limit....also we were going through a very tough time. My ex husband now wants residency and has a very spiteful lawyer. The first hearing was with a very understanding judge who saw things for what they are and ordered a section 7, but the second hearing was with a judge who seemed to be echoing my ex's lawyer and wants a section 37. Now I am very scared. I have no legal representation. I am up to my ears in paperwork and feel railroaded. Has anyone got any advice for me??

Here's a detailed document from .gov of what evidence is required for all legal aid matters, including family under the new Legal Aid rules (ie after the 2012 law kicked in): https://www.gov.uk/government/upload...aw-matters.pdf

[leclerc]

Re: Child custody dispute

I think i have already mentioned that Lucy Reed wrote a book about being a litigant in person in the family court which might be useful.

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

I think i have already mentioned that Lucy Reed wrote a book about being a litigant in person in the family court which might be useful.

Yesterday I read a prominent social worker's PHD 2010 thesis which was also read by Parliament, that mentioned no safeguarding for parents who may have made a mistake in the past. I also came a cross a relevant human rights' case. It is apparent that social work practice differs depending where the family lives in the country or the particular local authority. It is therefore not uniform - the op's husband/ partner will be embracing 'the child protection register' as reasoning why Op is not fit to have joint custody. The child protection register is meant to be reviewed regularly for that matter.

[leclerc]

Re: Child custody dispute

Yesterday I read a prominent social worker's PHD 2010 thesis which was also read by Parliament, that mentioned no safeguarding for parents who may have made a mistake in the past. I also came a cross a relevant human rights' case. It is apparent that social work practice differs depending where the family lives in the country or the particular local authority. It is therefore not uniform - the op's husband/ partner will be embracing 'the child protection register' as reasoning why Op is not fit to have joint custody. The child protection register is meant to be reviewed regularly for that matter.

Here's the thesis if everyone else wants to spend their time reading it: http://graphic-room.com/lizdavies/wp...april_2010.pdf

OpenLaw15, Lucy Reed's book was for the litigant in person in family courts and whilst not all of it is relevant, it is a book written by someone who is a lawyer who deals with Family Law everyday, she writes the Pink Tape family law blog, as well as being part of the Transparency Project.
In regards to social work not being uniform, I've been around various places on the tinterweb to know that and, having been through the process I know what a bunch of twonkers social workers can be. I've spoken to the good, the bad and the incompetent so I doubt any of us familiar with the practice of social work need to read a PhD thesis to know that that is the case.
I digress. I think the OP knows that the Child protection issues that she is going through is reviewed regularly(the first meeting would have polled the crowd and then the next meeting would have been penciled in).

Now, what Diana M has said is very much the case, the child is 12 years old and her view MUST be taken into consideration in regards to where she lives as her views will increasingly become important.

Personally, I think we need more info which is not already on this thread.

Did the child protection case conference consider the residency of the child at their initial meeting?

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

Here's the thesis if everyone else wants to spend their time reading it: http://graphic-room.com/lizdavies/wp...april_2010.pdf

OpenLaw15, Lucy Reed's book was for the litigant in person in family courts and whilst not all of it is relevant, it is a book written by someone who is a lawyer who deals with Family Law everyday, she writes the Pink Tape family law blog, as well as being part of the Transparency Project.
In regards to social work not being uniform, I've been around various places on the tinterweb to know that and, having been through the process I know what a bunch of twonkers social workers can be. I've spoken to the good, the bad and the incompetent so I doubt any of us familiar with the practice of social work need to read a PhD thesis to know that that is the case.
I digress. I think the OP knows that the Child protection issues that she is going through is reviewed regularly(the first meeting would have polled the crowd and then the next meeting would have been penciled in).

Now, what Diana M has said is very much the case, the child is 12 years old and her view MUST be taken into consideration in regards to where she lives as her views will increasingly become important.

Personally, I think we need more info which is not already on this thread.

Did the child protection case conference consider the residency of the child at their initial meeting?

Being taken into account and being persuasive to judge's opinion is altogether different. The Op needs to prove she does not pose significant harm to said 12 year old as there is likely an automatic presumption that mother is (ie child's on protection register), well according to father's lawyer, and social workers she is, so it's for Op to rebut that presumption. The collective state is not pleasant when it's in defensive mode.

[JulieM]

Re: Child custody dispute

I see the OP has not been back, maybe 'discussions' between members has put her off.

Maybe be there is more to this than meets the eye, it seems very harsh to me for a child to be on the register after two cases of being hit. After all, although we may have signed the UN convention on the rights of the child, it is not a crime for a parent to use physical punishment.

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

I see the OP has not been back, maybe 'discussions' between members has put her off.

Maybe be there is more to this than meets the eye, it seems very harsh to me for a child to be on the register after two cases of being hit. After all, although we may have signed the UN convention on the rights of the child, it is not a crime for a parent to use physical punishment.

All it takes is one complaint Juliem to get the social services involved. It is circumstantial as to why the Op has not yet returned, she most likely will be trying to look for remedies via legal aid. The local authorities since baby P/ others have to find the balance between protecting children via the register, and its surveillance, and making sure parents are not criminalised. Even a visit to the hospital where an injury looks like mum or dad/ other family member caused it, will trigger social services - this is why there should be legal reform in social work powers. However, whilst there is a risk of another baby P incident occurring, it seem very unlikely parents' rights will come into it. t's not just social workers - it's government targets - adoption rates; social worker personalities and the ego and power aspects. As I said, the state when in defensive mode is very unpleasant.

[Crazy council]

Re: Child custody dispute

Give the OP chance/time

Honestly, the details that are on here are enough, and would possibly not be wise for the OP to go into detail untill she has legal help
[MENTION=88892]Daisyberwick[/MENTION] a few people that post on here have been through similar circumstances over the years ,
Firstly, you realy really need a solicitors help, just to protect yourself if the other side has a solicitor on it. ----- do that today----

Dealing with the s7/ and further with cafcass and social workers. You accept what happens, you understand it was wrong to go that far, but anyone whos been a parent of a child of around that age, especially going through a separation,, fully understand how far a kid ( without understanding the consequences ) can push things.

In my experience, in child court, the judges are very pragmatic and understanding, as long as your honest, and dealing with your situation. Also, were she goes to school and her normal routine will be a big part of any dissension fro the mo.

Although the social workers can seem very difficult towards you, make sure you communicate things by letter with them ( email ), push for meatings and try get a plan of action out of them. One of the failings i have seen from social workers in these situations is not getting enough time to deal with the situation before court, and that sometimes leaves the report they issue being one sided.

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

Give the OP chance/time

Honestly, the details that are on here are enough, and would possibly not be wise for the OP to go into detail untill she has legal help
@Daisyberwick a few people that post on here have been through similar circumstances over the years ,
Firstly, you realy really need a solicitors help, just to protect yourself if the other side has a solicitor on it. ----- do that today----

Dealing with the s7/ and further with cafcass and social workers. You accept what happens, you understand it was wrong to go that far, but anyone whos been a parent of a child of around that age, especially going through a separation,, fully understand how far a kid ( without understanding the consequences ) can push things.

In my experience, in child court, the judges are very pragmatic and understanding, as long as your honest, and dealing with your situation. Also, were she goes to school and her normal routine will be a big part of any dissension fro the mo.

Although the social workers can seem very difficult towards you, make sure you communicate things by letter with them ( email ), push for meatings and try get a plan of action out of them. One of the failings i have seen from social workers in these situations is not getting enough time to deal with the situation before court, and that sometimes leaves the report they issue being one sided.

We should have a debate about these sensitive matters (on another thread)....if there is need for a discussion. I think it's very insensitive to discuss here what are for the persons affected very personal matters.

[JulieM]

Re: Child custody dispute

I echo crazy councils point about getting a solicitor Asap to fight the case. I was not suggesting there was more hitting, unfortuneately imo socioeconomic circumstances can also have an impact on how social services work.

I hope owe the op is getting the help and representation they need

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

Give the OP chance/time

Honestly, the details that are on here are enough, and would possibly not be wise for the OP to go into detail untill she has legal help
@Daisyberwick a few people that post on here have been through similar circumstances over the years ,
Firstly, you realy really need a solicitors help, just to protect yourself if the other side has a solicitor on it. ----- do that today----

Dealing with the s7/ and further with cafcass and social workers. You accept what happens, you understand it was wrong to go that far, but anyone whos been a parent of a child of around that age, especially going through a separation,, fully understand how far a kid ( without understanding the consequences ) can push things.

In my experience, in child court, the judges are very pragmatic and understanding, as long as your honest, and dealing with your situation. Also, were she goes to school and her normal routine will be a big part of any dissension fro the mo.

Although the social workers can seem very difficult towards you, make sure you communicate things by letter with them ( email ), push for meatings and try get a plan of action out of them. One of the failings i have seen from social workers in these situations is not getting enough time to deal with the situation before court, and that sometimes leaves the report they issue being one sided.

There are a few cases where children's rights are taken into account, but it just depends whether the dad has got into the daughter's head where she believes mum is a threat to her. Children's opinions are merely just one aspect of what a judge has to take into consideration.