Child contact process and delays.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

I am not a "social networking" kind of guy ie facebook ect. But my sister is.
While she was having her daily trawl on the site she picked up on my ex's page and some comments that I found a little concerning.


1: After a contact session was cancelled : "Taking my princess shopping today, much more fun than contact"

2: Random concerning comment : "Wish i could strangle my F***king kids, every time im ill they misbehave"

3: Additional concerning comment : (exact quote unavaliable) : Left son in living room while in garden, returned to living room to
find child choking and his father had left him and gone out without telling anyone.

I have screen prints of these, however i do not expect them to carry much weight, but with this i can explain to cafcass where
some of my fears come from without being underhanded or derogitory. Again im basing my case on factual things and a comment
from my ex saying her partner left a baby unattended which resulted in choking is a little worrying.


sorry for repeated posting, keep remembering things as i go

[teaboy2]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

I think it will carry a lot of weight as it shows she is in breach of an order to attend contact sessions and is lying in court about the reasons why, it also shows signs of neglect and threats to harm the children which a court can not take lightly. You need to supply the screen shots to your solicitor ASAP for him/her to look at and likely use in court against your ex as they show she is clearly in contempt.

[Celestine]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Agreed. Those screen shots are very important.

She sounds absolutely vile. Who the hell posts "Wish I could strangle my F*****g Kids" on Facebook FGS?

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

I have passed details on to my solicitor and await a response. In addition whilst checking news updates i stumbled on
this £100 parenting class voucher thing. Now although my parenting ability is not in doubt through Cafcass or the courts
i noticed a specific class on offer called "Working together as parents" and it got the cogs turning. Although my ex has
refused mediation I may offer to pay for a "team working" type class to show that i am happy put all of her obstructions
behind me. I know she will refuse to do this but maybe it is worth volunteering myself as much as possible to further demonstrate
my commitment to those who need it.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Well my solicitor emailed me today, he is writing to my ex's solicitor to ask for an explanation of why indirect contact (letters and phonecalls) has been ignored. He is also going to propose that she re-start indirect contact by actually making the calls directly to me and encouraging my daughter to write some letters.
He explained that it was a breach of a court order and will ensure it is flagged at the next hearing.
I will send proof of postage and itemised telephone bills where appropriate to evidence the obstruction.

In addition, I was highly unamused with Cafcass not responding to my letters and phonecalls, so i emailed the head office (and attached copies of my letters that were sent via post). They have replied guaranteeing me a response within 14 days from my appointed worker. I have saved the email and printed a copy off. I have doubts that this will be adhered to.

Is there anything else i could be doing? I just wish I could do something more.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

*********** ********** Birmingham ******** Tel: 0121 *** 63*4 Email: m***************k

Following no response to phone calls, I sent this letter by recorded delivery on 09^th April 2012.
To date I have not had a response (14 days later). Please find below an additional copy of the letter. I will await a response until 07^th May 2012.
Dear *****;
Thank you for the opportunity to discuss the current situation concerning my daughter on 20^th March 2012.
I thought I would take this opportunity to bring you up to date on events that have occurred since the meeting. I have received your report, but thought it would be courteous to keep you informed.
Following the meeting, I returned home to discover a letter sent to **child** had been returned to me and marked as “uncollected”. I have retained the letter which can be produced upon request.
I have been made aware that my Mother recently contacted to Cafcass office to voice her concerns and offer support which was refused by a **Cafcass service manager**. While I understand the need to retain confidentiality I feel that the offer of support was a reasonable one that did take into account my daughters best interests and indeed showed additional support for ***** mother with conforming to court directions. Therefore I feel that my Mothers proposal should at least be noted, if only to be objected to by ***** or her mother.
I have had to provide more and more explanations to my step children as to why they do not see ******. They have met with her previously (which is evidenced in an image attached) and now cannot understand why they are unable to see her. I feel that ***** best interests in regard to getting to know her step brothers and sister have not been considered at all.
I feel that moving forward, a relevant professional such as CAHMS should spend sufficient time with ***** to encourage her to be emotionally open and become able to vocalise her own concerns and fears. I believe that the 6 contact sessions that were awarded have been ignored and have not been conformed to, which has deprived ***** of the opportunity to engage with me. To overcome this I feel that contact should be re-attempted with either a neutral chaperone for ***** to take her to contact or for contact to take place in a more localised location which would make attendance for Miss ***** a little easier. In addition I feel that attendance to the contact centre should be restricted to *****, her mother and me thus removing any non intentional distractions that may be in place.
In regards to the report received I feel that it does lack any insight into ways forward, but I understand that only limited details from CSCA were available. My only real concern is section 18 that states the ***** identified me as her fear when that is not what happened at all. The report continues with me asking additional questions to identify her fear. Why would I continue to try to identify fears if I had already done so? I am unsure whether this is an author error or an error made by CSCA, If you could advise me if it is contained in the CSCA report I can communicate with them to rectify this error, as I feel this statement falsely portrays me and incorrectly gives my daughters actions.
I do respect that making a decision on behalf of a child is extremely difficult and wish to express gratitude for the support you and your colleague **** have provided for ***** and me. I respect the recommendation given on the report and look forward to finishing my contact sessions.
Kind Regards

*** ********
PS: please note my landline telephone number at the top of this letter to ensure it is still accurate.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

ok apologies for the jumbled format of the letter featured above.
this lletter has been sent 3 times and as you will find by scrolling up, i contacted Cafcass by email recently.
Maybe it is just me but i feel that the letter does promt a response. Unfortunately this is what the response
i got today said:

Dear *****

I recently received an email from Cafcass communications that you have tried to contact me and sent three letters.

I received your letter dated the 9th April 2012 and noted the contents. My apologies for not acknowledging the letter
at the time but i did not feel that i needed to reply. I have not received any further letters from you.

As you are aware, the court has asked Cafcass to prepare a further report. I plan to contact the CSCA to obtain a copy of
the observational notes for the remaining supervised contact sessions between you and *****. I will also arrange to meet
**** for a wishes and feelings session and will then meet you to feedback her wishes and feelings. I shall send you an
appointment letter in due course.

I hope this brings you up to date with the enquiries that I will be undertaking for the report.


Yours Sincerely

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

I think my letter prompted a response as it questioned a statements authenticity that was filed to the court, I feel I clearly requested clarification and in all honesty would have thought Cafcass at the very least would send a response by the way of a compliment slip or something else.

I wouldnt mind but i have proof of postage for this letter being sent recorded delivery on 3 occasions (which i will chase as she has denied receiving them) and i have a call log from my landline that shows several calls to the Cafcass office.

Have i been assigned a dunce? or is this typical of Cafcass? What should my next moves be? as i am still no closer to clarifying whos error it was contained in the Cafcass report

[Celestine]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Goodness how frustrating. But any criticism you level at Cafcass, you feel worried that you risk alienating them too.

I think the tone of your letter is calm and reasonable. It's a shame they didn't feel fir to respond without you having to push.

I can sense your feelings of deep deep frustration. Have you contacted Families Need Fathers yet? I can't recommend them highly enough. I attended several of their gatherings in north London a few years back and it was great to see a bunch of dads sharing advice & supporting each other.

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Families Need Fathers are incredible!
They helped Jay when Social Services got involved with Jess.. why they think a single dad automatically needs a social worker baffles me

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Goodness how frustrating. But any criticism you level at Cafcass, you feel worried that you risk alienating them too.

I think the tone of your letter is calm and reasonable. It's a shame they didn't feel fir to respond without you having to push.

I can sense your feelings of deep deep frustration. Have you contacted Families Need Fathers yet? I can't recommend them highly enough. I attended several of their gatherings in north London a few years back and it was great to see a bunch of dads sharing advice & supporting each other.

Yes i think contacting families need fathers is a good step to take and will do so this evening. I do worry about Cafcass turning on me but unfortunately when i see an error i really do have to act on it. Judges build a picture based on whats presented to them and errors may cause a judge to make an inaccurate descision. I will be meeting with the Cafcass worker in question over the next few weeks so will ask for an explanation when i am face to face. I will also take a copy of the letter with me to show that it does promt a response. If she disagrees no problem but the possible "author error" on the previous report must be addressed as it forms part of a factual document.

It is so frustrating. Cafcass workers are normal people like you or I. the downside to this is that they "put children first" from 9 to 5 in many cases. I wish so much that this was different as they really do have the potential to help so many families.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Letter received from Cafcass today. Im meeting with them to discuss contact progress on the 29th of this months. Have also had it confirmed that any contact after tommorow (which is cancelled) will not make it into the report due to time constraints.


So since the adjournment there has been 1 contact session with the rest being cancelled by my ex. Fingers crossed Cafcass actually step up to the plate this time and vocalise what is already apparent to everyone else.

[Celestine]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Gawd I hope so, otherwise just what purpose do they serve?? Do Court Orders have any meaning if this behaviour is ignored.

If it's any consolation, Cafcass tend to keep pretty tight lipped DURING the process, almost like they're testing your patience deliberately to see how you react?

When we won our paternity case, we felt the same but when the report was written it was pretty damning of the mother. We were delighted and shocked because we received little indication from Cafcass that they were going to find in our favour.

In our case, the mothers conduct was far more reasonable and sincere than your ex is being, so fingers crossed Cafcass will use their powers to resolve this situation. PAS is well understood by professionals these days. I mean just WHY is your daughter so scared? What could be putting those ideas in her head? We know you are a lovely dad and have clearly always showed love and support, so the clear evidence of PAS should be concerning the Cafcass officers greatly.

xxx

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Does anyone know if this thread can be used to help FTW in his case, because i would gladly say to a judge, it seems to me this man is doing a better job of being a Mam than the little ones mam is!

[Bill-K]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

I'm sure Cel will know for sure, but this thread is available for all the world to see.
Indeed, it is no more than mere 'lay' opinion from the 'legalities' point of view. But it says so much for FTW's sense of decency and humanity - at the very least - and this must be a primary criterion here, surely.

It is public knowledge - public domain, etc. So - FWIW - I don't believe there are any legal or copyright restrictions on including this in any court bundle, and referring to it in one's submissions.