Child contact process and delays.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Ok here we go.... my first thread.

Where to begin ay, ermmm ok from the start.

My daughter was born in 2004 and at the time I was still with the mother. Unfortunately we seperated two and a half years later. Initially she allowed me to see my child as often as I liked which was brilliant. Then unfortunately when she realised there was no way we would get back together (6 months later) she started to halt contact.

Every time i mentioned court ect she amazingly allowed contact up until 3 years agom where she said if i went through court she would accuse me of being everything under the sun. Not letting this phase me i instructed a solicitor and this is where it really began.

Initially she one upped me and i got a letter from her solicitor advising that I could see my child in a contact centre. I happily agreed to this as i really didnt care where it was i just wanted to see my kid. 3 months later I get a notification that she has refused to attend the contact centre.

The next step was mediation (were now at about 6 months). I attended, got spoke to like crap for two hours and then a month later got a letter from them advising me that she had refused to attend mediation.

So after this we had to make an application to court. I had to wait 5 months for the first hearing. First hearing commences and as you would expect Cafcass brought in to meet child, indirect contact by way of letters awarded (i have sent one weeky even up to the present).

Months later I get a call and attend Cafcass. They tell me that my ex has accused me of being an alcoholic (i dont drink at all) drug addict (think not) violent (im 5 ft 6 and weigh as much as a bag of sugar) and that police had detailed files about a number of crimes i had commited (yeah right). On this basis interim contact was advised against and at the next hearing we gained an adjourment following police safeguarding checks.

Suprise suprise safeguarding checks come back clear with not a single blip. My employer intervenes to explain that my job is supporting people who drink and do drugs and happily passed on my random fluid test results (which have always been clear for many years). So over the further delays I disproved all comments made.

Moving forward indirect contact was increased to include phonecalls, 4 months later she hadnt answered a single call and out of the blue I get a solicitors letter advising me she would be staying in hspital for the duration of a pregnancy (3 more months) and i had to cease contact. To my suprise several photographs emerged proving she was in fact not in hospital at all bu Cafcass chose to ignore this information.

So back to court we go and yet another adjournment so phonecall contact can be reattempted. 3 months later she starts to answer calls and i begin speaking to my daughter which was great. I continued sending letters also.

So with progress made we returned to court and I was awarded 2 contact sessions at Cafcass. First session didnt go to well my daughter was scared of the Cafcass officer and refused to go into the office so i ended up speaking to her on the phone for an hour and a half. Second session went brilliantly and the Cafcass report reflected this.

Ok so back to court again. 6 supervised contact sessions awarded (November 2011). Lets put it this way, that was six months ago and i have only had 3 sessions. every other session has been cancelled with really trivial excuses. I was back in court today and the court have adjourned for an additional 3 months. What did concern we was the statement "6 months for 3 sessions is awful but with this trend i had better allow sufficient time for the remaining 3 sessions to take place".

Additional details to consider:
I have never had a response to any letters i have sent.
Cafcass has proposed my ex takes my daughter to CAHMS before it becomes court ordered.
All false claims made about me have been disproven and i have documentary proof of this.
Telephone calls (indirect contact) have not been answered for the past 5 months.
there are no single derogatory remarks made on a cafcass report from me about the childs mother.
My daughter has responded well to calls and contact and has expressed the desire to progress further.

So there you go. My story.

My main concern is that the "resident parent" is obstructing every court order made and has caused some very serious delays. Is she free to do this or will they actually at some point call her on these blatant attempts to drag the process out?

Any advice is appreciated.

Many Thanks

[Sabrewatch]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Hi, I have been reading this thread by FTW, with great interest as I will be starting this process sometime after christmas when my ex-partner gives birth to our son, she has already stated that i can see him for 1 hour a month at contact centre and my solicitor hsa already replied to that as being ridiculous due to the 7 hour return journey and myself being with 4 young children from my late wife. She has already claimed the physical and domestic abuse thing which i have denied as i hate those types of people but reading about it , it it one of the easiest to allege and very hard to disprove, although her brother and other familys members dont believe it which gives me assurance, and from what i have found out she has done this before to 2 of the other childrens fathers, she is in one of these refuges which i know nothing about except they believe everything that person says , although i know she only went to them as council informed her she would have to fend for herself and her kids would have to go into a home, this way she will eventually get a council house, which i find sickening as she is taking the place of someone who is facing that type of abuse. At present i have no legal rights, until the baby is born then from what my solicitor has told me , she will be going for 2 things at the same time name on birth certificate and proper access , i will keep this updated but would appreciate any advice or insight into all this

[leclerc]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

My understanding is that a transcript can be provided and that if there is an objection that it is inaccurate then the recording might be used to verify the transcript.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Saffy, I generally advise the use of a dictaphone for any home visits by so called professionals.
I would ask this question though, was the mother of the child always present at meetings with CAFCASS since clearly, they are supposed to represent the views of the child. Furthermore, depending on the questions asked will depend on the answers given.
Did you like contact with your father?
Did you not like contact with your father?
As you can tell the answers that can be given are different depending on how the question is asked.

Yes the mother was present at all but one of the meetings. Direct questions such as "did you like" ect have a clear pattern of being ignored/ answered with a shrug of the shoulders. She only ever really responds when she can point to a happy or sad face but when asked why its always a shrug of the shoulders or the usual "I dont know".

Recorded interviews would not be inappropriate. If anything It could reinforce a report (when accurate). I was going to record my meetings with Cafcass but was told that the recordings could not be used unless prior consent had been obtained from Cafcass (which I was told would never ever happen)

[leclerc]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Good point, although I believe with CCTV you can see the body language and we all know that body language can give a hell of a lot away.

However, I would argue the use of a dictaphone and, I mean covertly, is so that the so called professional DOES hang themselves into believing that they can lie through their teeth without reproach. For me, catching the liar out is the key rather than their body language because having a great big camera in their face might make them choose not to come to the house with the use of the word "hostile" used as a reason.

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Good point, although I believe with CCTV you can see the body language and we all know that body language can give a hell of a lot away.

[leclerc]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Saffy, I generally advise the use of a dictaphone for any home visits by so called professionals.
I would ask this question though, was the mother of the child always present at meetings with CAFCASS since clearly, they are supposed to represent the views of the child. Furthermore, depending on the questions asked will depend on the answers given.
Did you like contact with your father?
Did you not like contact with your father?

As you can tell the answers that can be given are different depending on how the question is asked.

Re: Child contact process and delays.

I think there's now a strong case of all these social worker/doctors/specialist visits to be recorded on CCTV rather than just reports being made, its amazing how much they can leave out or even add in and nothing can be proven either way.

[Nikolai]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

This is a case for expert cross-examination of the CAFCASS officer at the hearing, to highlight the inaccuracies in the report. If your lawyers can cast enough doubt on the integrity of the report, that will give the judge the opportunity not to follow the report's conclusions. I say expert because challenging a CAFCASS report in this way has to be done in a sensitive manner so you don't appear to be attacking the court welfare officer (much as they may deserve it). All the best with this - you have been reasonable throughout and I hope the court recognises this.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Hiya Nikolai, Thank you for your message.

I have been re-reading the report non stop all morning.

There have been a number of statements/ sections in the report that have really screamed out at me.

1: When I met with Cafcass I explained that while having contact my child leads activities. She will decide what games are played and in a fashion actually dictates the "rules". I went on to state that this demonstrated the attitude of a child that was clearly comfortable to inteact whereas children simply engaging to keep someone happy tend to "follow the leader". (consulted with senior social services practicioner prior to providing Cafcass with this statement).

In the Cafcass report they actuall say that my daughter engages in this way and it is "out of character, which would show considerable emotional impact". Ironically further on in the report my daughters mother states the EXACT same thing, declaring that my daughter NEVER leads activities with anyone and relies on others at home to structure play.

Ironically Cafcass have chose to support and encourage this statement despite it being blatantly obsurd.


2: The report goes on to state that interactions only occur after considerable encouragement from my daughters mother. This is really shocking considering that 99% of the time she sits there in silence with the contact centre worker while I actually provide my daughter with the support and encouragement she so clearly needs. Annoyingly Cafcass do not mention and of my interactions or and encouragement I have given her.

3: The dreaded "I dont know" statement has returned. The report depicts a Cafcass workers interactions with my child. "When asked if XXXXX would like to continue to see her father XXXXX shook her head. When asked why she stated that she did not know why. She could not remember the sessions, when they took place or what she did with her father". (bold is an extract directlyfrom the report). I have begged Cafcass to take steps to uncover why my daughter constantly responds with "I dont know" ect. They have managed to ignore my pleas for 3 years now. Unfounded fears, inablility or refusal to interact with Cafcass/ professionals have all been attributed to ..... ME, without anything to actually prove it.

[Nikolai]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Some CAFCASS officers shouldn't be allowed anywhere near children cases. I've actually seen them take sides in some cases - unbelieveable and totally unprofessional. Hopefully your solicitor will be able to point out the deficiencies (bias?) in the report to the judge at the hearing, and don't forget the CAFCASS officer can be called to give evidence in court, so your solicitor can ask pertinent questions on the content of the report.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Leclerc; That is exactly what I needed. Thank you so much.

The "dossier" you mentioned is fully compiled. It contains all CSA statements, reciepts of purchase. Copies of every email and letter I have sent her and most importantly every shred of paper connected with the court process (including the attempts prior to court which included contact centre refused by her mother and also mediation which was again refused by her mother).

The contact centre actually mentioned and "independant assesment" could be a positive step (this was some time ago), Assuming that is along the same lines as an independant social worker report I feel that is most definately worth pushing.

The other thing i need to chase (again) is that the contact centre report has once again failed to materialise for the court or me. Cafcass do not mention the report at all in their own and only draw on my views very briefly before dedicating 70% of the report to my daughters mother and even more shockingly, my daughters views were only given one short paragraph.

I already know there are grounds for appeal as me and my solicitor have been recording all the factual errors contained in the mounds of Cafcass reports. I guess ill need to consult him as to whether an appeal is something worth considering or not.

[leclerc]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Hey guys, quick update. Court is adjourned until 18th September as my ex is unable to attend.

Got the Cafcass report today. ermmmmm. They are recommending no direct contact. Ill post a bit more info
here a little later but as per usual any contact centre notes have been omitted and my views have been amazingly
omitted from the report.

dont really know what else to write at this point

I would suggest at this stage that you ask your solicitor whether an independent social worker report might be something worth considering. I would add that if the CAFCASS report is allowed to remain then the judge may well accept it in its entirety. I think that if you get the opportunity to put into evidence the supervisory contacts then I think that is important especially if they are positive. I would add that ultimately, even if the report is accepted that going forwards, in time, your daughter will eventually form her own views and it is important at this point in time to keep a dosier together NOW which may in time be something you will remember when you get the opportunity to fully explain everything to her at some point in the future. I hope that is ok for now....

I despise CAFCASS with a passion. They are independent Social Worker's paid by the case and sometimes provide deficient and unpalatable reports to the courts. Apologies to those people on here that may have a positive view but I never will have.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Hey guys, quick update. Court is adjourned until 18th September as my ex is unable to attend.

Got the Cafcass report today. ermmmmm. They are recommending no direct contact. Ill post a bit more info
here a little later but as per usual any contact centre notes have been omitted and my views have been amazingly
omitted from the report.

dont really know what else to write at this point

[Kitiara]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

The fact that Mum refuses to leave the room should ring alarm bells with CAFCASS (although from what you have said, the bells would go along with the hooter and big red nose so they probably wouldn't even notice!) Is there any way you can raise your concerns regading CAFCASS's handling of your case, or maybe seeing if it can be looked at by a different officer? - I'm not sure how this all works so please forgive me if I am talking out of my backside or stating the obvious.