Child contact process and delays.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

I think my letter prompted a response as it questioned a statements authenticity that was filed to the court, I feel I clearly requested clarification and in all honesty would have thought Cafcass at the very least would send a response by the way of a compliment slip or something else.

I wouldnt mind but i have proof of postage for this letter being sent recorded delivery on 3 occasions (which i will chase as she has denied receiving them) and i have a call log from my landline that shows several calls to the Cafcass office.

Have i been assigned a dunce? or is this typical of Cafcass? What should my next moves be? as i am still no closer to clarifying whos error it was contained in the Cafcass report

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

ok apologies for the jumbled format of the letter featured above.
this lletter has been sent 3 times and as you will find by scrolling up, i contacted Cafcass by email recently.
Maybe it is just me but i feel that the letter does promt a response. Unfortunately this is what the response
i got today said:

Dear *****

I recently received an email from Cafcass communications that you have tried to contact me and sent three letters.

I received your letter dated the 9th April 2012 and noted the contents. My apologies for not acknowledging the letter
at the time but i did not feel that i needed to reply. I have not received any further letters from you.

As you are aware, the court has asked Cafcass to prepare a further report. I plan to contact the CSCA to obtain a copy of
the observational notes for the remaining supervised contact sessions between you and *****. I will also arrange to meet
**** for a wishes and feelings session and will then meet you to feedback her wishes and feelings. I shall send you an
appointment letter in due course.

I hope this brings you up to date with the enquiries that I will be undertaking for the report.


Yours Sincerely

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

*********** ********** Birmingham ******** Tel: 0121 *** 63*4 Email: m***************k

Following no response to phone calls, I sent this letter by recorded delivery on 09^th April 2012.
To date I have not had a response (14 days later). Please find below an additional copy of the letter. I will await a response until 07^th May 2012.
Dear *****;
Thank you for the opportunity to discuss the current situation concerning my daughter on 20^th March 2012.
I thought I would take this opportunity to bring you up to date on events that have occurred since the meeting. I have received your report, but thought it would be courteous to keep you informed.
Following the meeting, I returned home to discover a letter sent to **child** had been returned to me and marked as “uncollected”. I have retained the letter which can be produced upon request.
I have been made aware that my Mother recently contacted to Cafcass office to voice her concerns and offer support which was refused by a **Cafcass service manager**. While I understand the need to retain confidentiality I feel that the offer of support was a reasonable one that did take into account my daughters best interests and indeed showed additional support for ***** mother with conforming to court directions. Therefore I feel that my Mothers proposal should at least be noted, if only to be objected to by ***** or her mother.
I have had to provide more and more explanations to my step children as to why they do not see ******. They have met with her previously (which is evidenced in an image attached) and now cannot understand why they are unable to see her. I feel that ***** best interests in regard to getting to know her step brothers and sister have not been considered at all.
I feel that moving forward, a relevant professional such as CAHMS should spend sufficient time with ***** to encourage her to be emotionally open and become able to vocalise her own concerns and fears. I believe that the 6 contact sessions that were awarded have been ignored and have not been conformed to, which has deprived ***** of the opportunity to engage with me. To overcome this I feel that contact should be re-attempted with either a neutral chaperone for ***** to take her to contact or for contact to take place in a more localised location which would make attendance for Miss ***** a little easier. In addition I feel that attendance to the contact centre should be restricted to *****, her mother and me thus removing any non intentional distractions that may be in place.
In regards to the report received I feel that it does lack any insight into ways forward, but I understand that only limited details from CSCA were available. My only real concern is section 18 that states the ***** identified me as her fear when that is not what happened at all. The report continues with me asking additional questions to identify her fear. Why would I continue to try to identify fears if I had already done so? I am unsure whether this is an author error or an error made by CSCA, If you could advise me if it is contained in the CSCA report I can communicate with them to rectify this error, as I feel this statement falsely portrays me and incorrectly gives my daughters actions.
I do respect that making a decision on behalf of a child is extremely difficult and wish to express gratitude for the support you and your colleague **** have provided for ***** and me. I respect the recommendation given on the report and look forward to finishing my contact sessions.
Kind Regards

*** ********
PS: please note my landline telephone number at the top of this letter to ensure it is still accurate.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Well my solicitor emailed me today, he is writing to my ex's solicitor to ask for an explanation of why indirect contact (letters and phonecalls) has been ignored. He is also going to propose that she re-start indirect contact by actually making the calls directly to me and encouraging my daughter to write some letters.
He explained that it was a breach of a court order and will ensure it is flagged at the next hearing.
I will send proof of postage and itemised telephone bills where appropriate to evidence the obstruction.

In addition, I was highly unamused with Cafcass not responding to my letters and phonecalls, so i emailed the head office (and attached copies of my letters that were sent via post). They have replied guaranteeing me a response within 14 days from my appointed worker. I have saved the email and printed a copy off. I have doubts that this will be adhered to.

Is there anything else i could be doing? I just wish I could do something more.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

I have passed details on to my solicitor and await a response. In addition whilst checking news updates i stumbled on
this £100 parenting class voucher thing. Now although my parenting ability is not in doubt through Cafcass or the courts
i noticed a specific class on offer called "Working together as parents" and it got the cogs turning. Although my ex has
refused mediation I may offer to pay for a "team working" type class to show that i am happy put all of her obstructions
behind me. I know she will refuse to do this but maybe it is worth volunteering myself as much as possible to further demonstrate
my commitment to those who need it.

[Celestine]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Agreed. Those screen shots are very important.

She sounds absolutely vile. Who the hell posts "Wish I could strangle my F*****g Kids" on Facebook FGS?

[teaboy2]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

I think it will carry a lot of weight as it shows she is in breach of an order to attend contact sessions and is lying in court about the reasons why, it also shows signs of neglect and threats to harm the children which a court can not take lightly. You need to supply the screen shots to your solicitor ASAP for him/her to look at and likely use in court against your ex as they show she is clearly in contempt.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

I am not a "social networking" kind of guy ie facebook ect. But my sister is.
While she was having her daily trawl on the site she picked up on my ex's page and some comments that I found a little concerning.


1: After a contact session was cancelled : "Taking my princess shopping today, much more fun than contact"

2: Random concerning comment : "Wish i could strangle my F***king kids, every time im ill they misbehave"

3: Additional concerning comment : (exact quote unavaliable) : Left son in living room while in garden, returned to living room to
find child choking and his father had left him and gone out without telling anyone.

I have screen prints of these, however i do not expect them to carry much weight, but with this i can explain to cafcass where
some of my fears come from without being underhanded or derogitory. Again im basing my case on factual things and a comment
from my ex saying her partner left a baby unattended which resulted in choking is a little worrying.


sorry for repeated posting, keep remembering things as i go

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Dear (solicitor);

I thought it appropriate to inform you that I have received a letter from Cafcass.
As I am sure you are aware, they are unable to file a report until 24 hours before
court. I wish to inform you that I have no objections in moving forward in this way
on the understanding that the Cafcass report will contain sufficient detailing and not
seem rushed.

In addition, i feel it appropriate to inform you that I have been trying to contact Cafcass
since before our last court hearing, I have made 11 phone calls and sent 3 letters, but
have not had a single response. I will endeavor to keep contacting them but am currently
worried that I may miss the opportunity to discuss events with them prior to retuning to
court.

Finally, following the recent adjournment contact is not going well. Attendance is virtually
non existent from *******, with only one session having taken place and following a
conversation with CSCA today it seems there may well be no more additional session
before returning to court, in addition, indirect contact is still failing with no phonecalls answered
for 6 months to date and no responses to letters. I do not feel I am able to take any action
on this matter but thought it appropriate to inform you of the current situation.

Many thanks for taking the time to read this email.

Kind Regards

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

As of 09/06/2012 it will have been a total of 7 weeks in between contact sessions.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Heres the latest update guys. I got a phone call from the contact centre this morning. My daughters mother has cancelled contact this week as she claims my daughter is unwell. In addition she cannot attend next week as it is her sons birthday and the week after they have plans. So theres 3 more weeks of cancellations all wrapped in a nice little bow.
The next session will be scheduled to take place on 09/06/2012, 5 days prior to our next court hearing. So the contact centre have informed me that the session that takes place on 09th June will not be detailed in the final report as it exceeds the dealine for completion. This is also the case for Cafcass.
So now i really am at a loss. I know there is a possibility that it will reflect badly on her in court, but the fact is any good work that could of been done has undoubtedly been undone by now.
My solicitor is away today but i have filled him in on the situation. I dont expect much can be done

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

My brother Jay, Jess's dad has sent this letter, No scanner so im typing it out.

Dear FTW,

My sister has made me aware of your situation, I am a single dad (my beautiful daughter is now 17) and I understand the feeling of "why me". I was in the opposite postion to you, I had an ex that wanted nothing to do with our daughter. I was scared Jess would grow up hating her mother, and in a wat she had every right to, but I wanted her to respect her elders. I found all the pictures I could of her mother when she was pregnant, I made a scrapbook of everything Jess had done, all her accomplishments, her cards and letters from her grandparents.
I then sat down and wrote her a letter, she was 18months old. I told her my hopes and dreams for her (happiness, health, a good job.. a kind partner), and told her how I felt being her dad.
Last year, I sat down and wrote her a letter saying that she had made my dreams came true, that I am proud of her etc (and my sister has read me her response to you.. im VERY of her). She is getting them when she graduates, along with the letter I will write her that day.
I would suggest to you, keep everything you have from her, letters, paintings.. things like that. Dont be afraid to write your feelings down, Jess went looking for some ink in the loft and came down with my box of treats and went through it, she was amazed i still had "all my crap".
And explaining to a 17 year old that old paintings and things isnt crap is impossible!
There are things girls can't tell a man, and thats natural. I leave money on the side for her, whatever she needs she buys and it works.
Remember there are men who will say to you whats the problem, raising kids is the womans job.. IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE! Personally,I think think the greatest show of a man is a fella with a pushchair!

Take care of yourself, and your daughter.

Jay
(Puff's big brother)

Thankyou so much for that post. I havent been online for a few days and after today im feeling alot more positive. That post just made it all the more better.

This weekends session was to cancelled but it was the contact centre this time. They called me and explained that the supervisor wanted to be at all the sessions and not have someone else "stand in". In many ways I can understand this approach so have accepted this openly.

My cousin was over from Canada this week and i was fortunate enough to meet him and reconnect, top guy. I met his son for the first time ever, lovely little 5 year old lad. We got on so well that his son is staying at my house tommorow night. So all in all a good week. 6 weeks to go to court now and i suspect Cafcass will be in touch shortly to produce another report.

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

My brother Jay, Jess's dad has sent this letter, No scanner so im typing it out.

Dear FTW,

My sister has made me aware of your situation, I am a single dad (my beautiful daughter is now 17) and I understand the feeling of "why me". I was in the opposite postion to you, I had an ex that wanted nothing to do with our daughter. I was scared Jess would grow up hating her mother, and in a wat she had every right to, but I wanted her to respect her elders. I found all the pictures I could of her mother when she was pregnant, I made a scrapbook of everything Jess had done, all her accomplishments, her cards and letters from her grandparents.
I then sat down and wrote her a letter, she was 18months old. I told her my hopes and dreams for her (happiness, health, a good job.. a kind partner), and told her how I felt being her dad.
Last year, I sat down and wrote her a letter saying that she had made my dreams came true, that I am proud of her etc (and my sister has read me her response to you.. im VERY of her). She is getting them when she graduates, along with the letter I will write her that day.
I would suggest to you, keep everything you have from her, letters, paintings.. things like that. Dont be afraid to write your feelings down, Jess went looking for some ink in the loft and came down with my box of treats and went through it, she was amazed i still had "all my crap".
And explaining to a 17 year old that old paintings and things isnt crap is impossible!
There are things girls can't tell a man, and thats natural. I leave money on the side for her, whatever she needs she buys and it works.
Remember there are men who will say to you whats the problem, raising kids is the womans job.. IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE! Personally,I think think the greatest show of a man is a fella with a pushchair!

Take care of yourself, and your daughter.

Jay
(Puff's big brother)

[NikkiD]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Hi there,

I think that her failure to enable your daughter to attend contact sessions clearly shows that she wishes to stop contact altogether. This is not acceptable, and in Court she will have to come up with very valid reasons as to why she hasn't brought your child for contact. Those reasons would be along the lines of ... severe illness of the child perhaps, but even that used as an excuse repeatedly gets seen through. You are more than upholding your end of contact, and things will improve, I'm sure of that. The Courts simply won't allow her behaviour.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Heres the latest one guys.

Saturdays session was cancelled. My understanding was that the sessions were fortnightly but because of the lack of attendance (due to daughters mother) they moved them to weekly.

To be completely honest I went through the weekend without giving it much thought. Sent my letter on Thursday, phoned my daughter on friday (no answer as usual) and no phone call from the contact centre.

They phoned me this morning to explain that they tried all day on Friday to organise contact but could not get an answer from my daughters mother. They apologised for not calling me but to be honest i didnt mind. Theres no point in them calling me if they cant get hold of her. (besides they know that i am completely flexible and only need 1 hours notice any day of the week)

So there we go, ill keep you posted.
------------------------------- merged -------------------------------
Oh the court adjournment is until June 14th.

From what I understand there is only 1 official contact session left but the contact centre have agreed to keep going with the sessions until court reccomences.

They did in no uncertain terms say that there is no guarantee that my daughters mother will attend past the 6 ordered sessions but they will try the best they can (cant ask any more of them tbh)

I think that they want to see if she gets to 6 and then stops contact all together, it may show clearly her intentions moving forward.

What do you guys think?