Child contact process and delays.

[Celestine]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

That is FANTASTIC news FTW!!! When we were fighting our case, we were told that the Cafcass report is the crucial evidence. In 90% of residency cases, the Judge went with the Cafcass report in its entirety.
So your report is EXTREMELY significant and positive. Bl00dy well done for your dogged determination and patience xxxx

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

FTW,

my neice is in Bournemouth atm with her LUUUUUUUUUURVER, but if you want to talk to Jay, mail Jess and I can talk him through how to open it

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Thank you so much for your messages and my apologies for not being on the past few days, I have had a load of extra work to do to which has involved me working late into the night (my choice to keep active)

All these messages are so inspirational and I am thoroughly looking forward to meeting with Cafcass next week.

the contact centre have sent me an extremely unofficial but exact copy of the report they have forwarded to Cafcass. Although im entitled to it anyway they said they wanted me to see it at the earliest possible opportunity.

The content of this report is extremely reassuring as they have openly voiced the same concerns that I have. They have happily attributed the delays in contact to "a blatant obstruction that should not occur".

So I guess for now ill leave it at that, but will keep you posted on progress.

Again Thank you so much for the support it is appreciated more than words can say.

[JessB]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

From my dad:

Hello mate,
Now my daughter has an account I've been able to read this thread (he called it a thingame) for myself.
Although it is frustrating you are doing exactly the right thing, but I wanted to give you a few little bits of ammo, just in case.

Jess's mum tried to say she couldn't contact her due to the fact I told her she would be penniless while she was pregnant (load of rubbish but never mind), I know from what I have read that you pay for your child, however if she tries the "i get no maintainance" line, remind her access is granted regardless of maintainance.

I think I'm right that if a court order is ignored, your ex can be found in contempt of court, might be worth a mention to her.

CAFCAS I found to be a bit... slapdash? It's not just you, there were times with Jess's younger sister that I thought I was banging my head against the wall..

Whenever I write to my younger daughters, I have Jess photocopy the letters, then put the letter in a box, when they are 18, I will arrange a little meet up and give them the box with the letters and say to them, just incase they got lost in the post.

I agree that the child should give the "missing" parent respect (I dont but never mind - jess) and applaud the fact you are showing your daughter how to be a respectful and decent child. Don't worry about introducing your "real" daughter to your other kids (we dont use the word step), just tell them shes a little nervous but she's longing to play, and leave them to it. The worse I had with Jess was when I brought the youngest in the house and said "this is your baby sister".
She looked at her and said "not another bloody baby!!!" Now when Jess collects her sisters from school you would think that they had been apart for 20 years!!

Take care of yourself

Jay

Dad of this little horror, and brother of Puff (god help me)

[Bill-K]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

You're right, of course, Cel. We are dealing with legalities, and not "lovely thoughts." Such issues are deeply emotional, but I guess the courts must see both sides of any story - and without emotion. Not an easy task, but the better judges can manage it, I guess. Sure - we only have one side of the story here, but that is the only side we have been invited to comment on. I count my blessings and bow to the knowledge of Cel and others here, but it is STILL something that might count toward the necessary appraisal of FTW's character and motives, surely ?

Agreed, though, Brownie points are not a reliable currency.

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Was worth a try

[Celestine]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

One has to be very careful with Family Law cases as they are shrouded in secrecy for the protection of the child. Nevertheless, FTW has been very careful to conceal said identities.
Personally, having been through just such a case, I would stick to the approved regime of statements and recognised procedures. They're a very traditional bunch and forum discussions would not be deemed objective or neutral. After all, we are only hearing FTW's side of this distressing experience. Our opinions may assist FTW in surviving and understanding the process better but we would have very little bearing in such a case. Sorry to be a spoilsport because it's a lovely thought. xx

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Dear Mr Solicitor,
I give my full permission for my posts to be available for the use of (fill in OP's name) if there is the slightest hope that it assists said gentleman in his fight for access to his daughter.
I also give full permission for my opinion that this man is a better influence of decency, kindness and positivity than the information given about the mother, and as a mother of a daughter I am away of the affect to self confidence a negative attitude has on girls.
I hope this will be of assistance.

Puffrose.


FTW if you need this with my real name and signature, please PM me the address of the solicitors office and I will post it.

P

[Bill-K]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

I'm sure Cel will know for sure, but this thread is available for all the world to see.
Indeed, it is no more than mere 'lay' opinion from the 'legalities' point of view. But it says so much for FTW's sense of decency and humanity - at the very least - and this must be a primary criterion here, surely.

It is public knowledge - public domain, etc. So - FWIW - I don't believe there are any legal or copyright restrictions on including this in any court bundle, and referring to it in one's submissions.

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Does anyone know if this thread can be used to help FTW in his case, because i would gladly say to a judge, it seems to me this man is doing a better job of being a Mam than the little ones mam is!

[Celestine]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Gawd I hope so, otherwise just what purpose do they serve?? Do Court Orders have any meaning if this behaviour is ignored.

If it's any consolation, Cafcass tend to keep pretty tight lipped DURING the process, almost like they're testing your patience deliberately to see how you react?

When we won our paternity case, we felt the same but when the report was written it was pretty damning of the mother. We were delighted and shocked because we received little indication from Cafcass that they were going to find in our favour.

In our case, the mothers conduct was far more reasonable and sincere than your ex is being, so fingers crossed Cafcass will use their powers to resolve this situation. PAS is well understood by professionals these days. I mean just WHY is your daughter so scared? What could be putting those ideas in her head? We know you are a lovely dad and have clearly always showed love and support, so the clear evidence of PAS should be concerning the Cafcass officers greatly.

xxx

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Letter received from Cafcass today. Im meeting with them to discuss contact progress on the 29th of this months. Have also had it confirmed that any contact after tommorow (which is cancelled) will not make it into the report due to time constraints.


So since the adjournment there has been 1 contact session with the rest being cancelled by my ex. Fingers crossed Cafcass actually step up to the plate this time and vocalise what is already apparent to everyone else.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Goodness how frustrating. But any criticism you level at Cafcass, you feel worried that you risk alienating them too.

I think the tone of your letter is calm and reasonable. It's a shame they didn't feel fir to respond without you having to push.

I can sense your feelings of deep deep frustration. Have you contacted Families Need Fathers yet? I can't recommend them highly enough. I attended several of their gatherings in north London a few years back and it was great to see a bunch of dads sharing advice & supporting each other.

Yes i think contacting families need fathers is a good step to take and will do so this evening. I do worry about Cafcass turning on me but unfortunately when i see an error i really do have to act on it. Judges build a picture based on whats presented to them and errors may cause a judge to make an inaccurate descision. I will be meeting with the Cafcass worker in question over the next few weeks so will ask for an explanation when i am face to face. I will also take a copy of the letter with me to show that it does promt a response. If she disagrees no problem but the possible "author error" on the previous report must be addressed as it forms part of a factual document.

It is so frustrating. Cafcass workers are normal people like you or I. the downside to this is that they "put children first" from 9 to 5 in many cases. I wish so much that this was different as they really do have the potential to help so many families.

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Families Need Fathers are incredible!
They helped Jay when Social Services got involved with Jess.. why they think a single dad automatically needs a social worker baffles me

[Celestine]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Goodness how frustrating. But any criticism you level at Cafcass, you feel worried that you risk alienating them too.

I think the tone of your letter is calm and reasonable. It's a shame they didn't feel fir to respond without you having to push.

I can sense your feelings of deep deep frustration. Have you contacted Families Need Fathers yet? I can't recommend them highly enough. I attended several of their gatherings in north London a few years back and it was great to see a bunch of dads sharing advice & supporting each other.