Child contact process and delays.

[so foolish]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

How awful. Through my work i am regularly involved with Section 8 orders and am more than aware of the games parents can play. I am a social worker and i have to say i spend lots of time investigating these sorts of claims. It unfortunate that your CAFCASS worker does not do the same. I do believe that your ex's days are numbered, however this is at your daughters expense she must be so confused.

My advice is to report every time she cancels or violates an order to your solicitor and to CAFCASS, don't be afraid to make make a fuss. Possibly change solicitor, i think think the point of 'child's welfare is paramount' should be noted here. She is already 8 years old and needs to know that dad is there and loves her and wants to spend time with her.

Unfortunately in these cases it can become a bit he said she said, so resist being personal about her in any statements. Are you funding this?? I would imagine if this was legal aid the Judge would wanting a conclusion soon.

Take some comfort that she will be her own undoing.....

I wish you luck

Re: Child contact process and delays.

I dont want to see her behind bars or anything like that. She is after all the mother of my child.

What a lovely man you are, but never the less, this woman is guilty of lying to the solicitor and court, she is cold, heartless, mean and uncaring and incredibly shallow, by denying a child access to their father without very good reason, some mothers are in my opinion guilty of child abuse.

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

[quote=

I dont want to see her behind bars or anything like that. She is after all the mother of my child.



bless you for that! this confirms my theory that some single dads are better than the mams!

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Good Grief! You poor poor thing.

You sound so patient and measured. You haven't actually said anything derogatory about your ex; which is usually a difficult issue.

How old is your daughter now?

As you have now realised sadly, this is a long LONG process. The Family Courts in this country are an absolute disgrace. The delays and ease with which a hostile parent can thwart access is shocking and clearly HIGHLY damaging to the child, who the Court is meant to enshrine at the heart of this ridiculous process.

So, you are merely applying for access, not residency or shared residency at least?

Look, I'm not sure if there is much you can do to speed things up, but it looks like her game playing days are numbered. She is running out of excuses and the Cafcass officers are meant to be wary of this behaviour by her.

Eventually her behaviour will veer into breach of an order. Her arrogance will trip her up.

Are you involved with Families Need Fathers?
Families Need Fathers

At present I am only applying for contact/ Access. I would love nothing more than to have my little girl here full time. We have a bedroom decorated and ready just for her. Unfortunately the cruel fact is that fathers have very little chance of gaining residence. The only chance I would have is if Cafcass brought in pycologist (sorry about the spelling, im tired) or CAHMS uncover something (which in all honesty i feel may happen, but in many ways hope it doesnt)

I dont want to see her behind bars or anything like that. She is after all the mother of my child. But it would be nice if something could happen to enforce court orders.

Maybe a chaperone for contact ect.

Thank you both for your posts they have been most reassuring.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

firstly can i say how cool it is to read a dad that so obviously adores his kid!

I would suggest having your solicitor send hers a letter with the terms of the access agreement, politely reminding her of her responsiilties, and reminding her you will be complaining to Cafcas if the agreement is continually breached.

Then contact Cafcas again and remind them that you are not seeing your child. Also I suggest have a printout of all the money you have given her for you child, as there are cases of mums withholding access as they "havent had maintainance"

Hi there, letters have been exchanged back and forth. The most recent cancellation (Saturday) she stated that her solicitor told her not to attend contact until after court. This was raised in court and her solicitor denied this claim. It was a good job the contact centre documented this excuse and forwarded it to my solicitor.

As for moneys paid. I have already been the victim of the "hes a deadbeat dad" statement. My response was very simple. I called the CSA whom sent me statements. Best call ever as they owed me over £800 back from over payments. My solicitor forwarded copies of the statements and the overpayment letter to her solicitor. I feel that was karma catching up with her after bragging she brought her fella a car with CSA money.

In addition at my last Cafcass appointment i went in and clearly shown them a pattern of absence from her. They left this out of the report amazinlgy but my solicitor doesnt ming disrupting things and flagged this up in court. In addition the last report they issued stated "she told him he was the reason she didnt like the contact centre" After weeks of debating with Cafcass they admitted it was an author error and should have read "she told him he was not the reason she did not like the contact centre" Tiny mistake that could have had damaging consequences.

My daughter will be 8 years old in August.

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

firstly can i say how cool it is to read a dad that so obviously adores his kid!

I would suggest having your solicitor send hers a letter with the terms of the access agreement, politely reminding her of her responsiilties, and reminding her you will be complaining to Cafcas if the agreement is continually breached.

Then contact Cafcas again and remind them that you are not seeing your child. Also I suggest have a printout of all the money you have given her for you child, as there are cases of mums withholding access as they "havent had maintainance"

[Celestine]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Good Grief! You poor poor thing.

You sound so patient and measured. You haven't actually said anything derogatory about your ex; which is usually a difficult issue.

How old is your daughter now?

As you have now realised sadly, this is a long LONG process. The Family Courts in this country are an absolute disgrace. The delays and ease with which a hostile parent can thwart access is shocking and clearly HIGHLY damaging to the child, who the Court is meant to enshrine at the heart of this ridiculous process.

So, you are merely applying for access, not residency or shared residency at least?

Look, I'm not sure if there is much you can do to speed things up, but it looks like her game playing days are numbered. She is running out of excuses and the Cafcass officers are meant to be wary of this behaviour by her.

Eventually her behaviour will veer into breach of an order. Her arrogance will trip her up.

Are you involved with Families Need Fathers?
Families Need Fathers

Absolutely fantastic support and advice.

Is your solicitor any good btw? In Family cases, I have observed solicitors 'settling in' and raking in fees for exchanging hostile letters with the other side.

Good luck xx