Child contact process and delays.

[leclerc]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Got to say that your focus on "what is in the best interests of the child" is the right approach because it shows you are not using your child as a weapon to beat your ex over the head with. That is very important. The supervisory reports are very important in showing that you are a good parent and will also show to an extent the problems you are facing in trying to ensure good contact with the child. It is a pain re the CAFCASS person but at least they read your notes and they can be cross referenced to the supervisory notes. I think it sounds like a positive meeting.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

I feel the meeting did have many positive aspects. The Cafcass worker has clear concerns over my daughters emotional well being. The downside to this is that the Cafcass worker see's the problem as the whole process, indirect contact, direct contact, meeting with Cafcass ect. Now I actually agree that my daughter must have felt that she has been pulled from pillar to post. This is unfortunately where Cafcass seems to go out on a tangeant. Instead of wondering why my daughter gets upset and considering how we have made so much progress only to have some very suspicious setbacks crop up, they decide it must be everything OTHER than what happens behind closed doors.

I met with my solicitor today and discussed the meeting in as much details as humanly possible. He knows that the contact centre report is very good but worries about the Cafcass workers ability to "spot the signs". I know time will tell, i think im worrying more because I cant get the Cafcass report until the day before court so im flying blind not knowing what the Cafcass proposal will be. As much as i know the contact centre report is great i dont know how well Cafcass will report on it as they have left out some major details in the past.

I think deep down im more annoyed as I highlighted all of the obstructions i have been faced with (im great detail and evidenced) and the Cafcass workers response was "ohh well". As always i just wish i could be doing more than just playing the waiting game. Many thanks for your comments leclerc, I have been considering all the positive outcomes of the meeting more and more. Keep your fingers crossed for me ay

[leclerc]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

The information I am aware of about CAFCASS reports is that they can be very powerful tools in making the decision for a judge. I would add one word which is positive, most literature states that it is in the interests of the child to see their father and that is about identity. I have to say that unless you were a violent or sexual predator I would be surprised it there was anything other than a contact order. Breaches of contact orders can be very serious indeed so there should be no stupidity in this regards to it being enacted.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Many thanks leclerc, i am hipeful of a positive report in moving forward. On an even better note, i got a call from the contact centre this morning, I have a final contact session tommorow at 09:30. The centre manager also kindly informed me that they will be forwarding their report to Cafcass on Wednesday following this session as they thought it best to be able to file a 100% definitive report. I am meeting with her tommorow after contact as she wanted to review things with me. I responded with a sheepish "oh no have i done something wrong" to which she laughed and told me she would like to review the progress made so far. So thats really cheered me up along with all the comments made on here over time.

Finger crossed we can move forward with a chapperone service of some description. I feel if the blatant obstructions (ie the resident parent) are removed from contact participation the court/ Cafcass/ contact centre staff and indeed me will be able to establish a really difinitive resolution that follows "the best interests of the child" by allowing my daughter to interact with no fear of consequence and no pressure.

Ill update tommorow after contact and my meeting. Fingers crossed.

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Another positive contact today.

Initial reluctances as before (hiding head in chair ect). I have to be honest, I went in with very little fight left in me, but i spoke to my daughter softly and eventually she started to make "knocking" noises. She moved on to say 1 knock for yes and 2 for no. I built on this, read her a book and she started to interact. We played games happily and eventually went and played outside (just the two of us). All in all it was great.

I met with the supervisor and the contact centre manager after. They are extremely happy with the progress made and recommend activity based contact away from a supervised environment.

So there we go, Cafcass and the contact centre have some very opposite views. Hopefully they will see sense and read an agreement that truly reflects my childs best interests

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

FANTASTIC news!!

cant wait to hear of day trips, and fun times!

well done you

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Hiya everyone.

Court tommorow and i managed to get hold of the Cafcass report about 20 minutes ago.

Unfortunately my fears have become a reality. Cafcass has suggested to allow 3 additional contact sessions in a supervised manor but
on the understanding that if the sessions do not improve a "no contact" order must be considered.

I genuinely felt like i was reading someone elses report. The report was highly biased towards my daughters mother and managed to actually
generate sympathy for ignoring indirect contact and obstructing direct contact. They somehow managed to reduce to contact centres 6 month
report into 2 paragraphs which highlighted my daughters initial reluctance but failed to explain how i overcame them so often. They hinted that
it was her mothers "support" (despite my daughter having several violent outbursts at her mother). The verbal lashing i recieved was brushed over
quickly and then dismissed by cafcass.

I have now spoke to Cafcass on multiple occasions about utilising CAHMS ect and as usual it does not even appear in the report. Ironically
my daughters mother seems to have a word for word script featured where my 2 and a half hour meeting has been summarised in 3 lines
of text.

When comparing the Cafcass report to the contact centre report it is clear Cafcass have drawn their own conclusions and been happy to ignore
the imput of the people (contact centre staff) who have actually spent time with my child and indeed me.

Where do i stand ? Ok some interesting news in the media today ect but I am genuinely concerned over Cafcass half arsed (apologies for the profanity)
approach at this report. Can I do anything or am I just going to have to nod and smile to keep Cafcass and the court happy ?

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

I did mean to say that the contact centre report is brilliant. It highlighted delays incurred and solutions to overcome them, progress made by me and my child (which was a great piece of reading) they recommended contact to continue in an engaging environment such as a cinema, bowling alley ect and a crucial aspect was to have the resident parent absent from contact sessions.

In addition they supported my suggestion of utilising CAHMS and also suggested that my ex's personal circumstances should be looked into as she seemed "unable to comply with the wishes of the court".

Sorry about the multiple post there

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Forgot to update, my solicitor called. He is unable to make court tommorow as he is double booked. He has assigned me a barrister from the family
law panel.

So news has gone from bad to worse, Cafcass has ignored me & the contact centre, my solicitor will be unable to make it and I have no time at all to discuss the errors
contained in the report with Cafcass

[leclerc]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

I think you can bring up the supervisory reports and state your case. I think you have to focus on what is in the best interests of your daughter. That is the paramount thing in family law. It's not what is in the interests of you but of your daughter. Perhaps one suggestion might be and I emphasise might be, that someone neutral to the child brings her for contact so that any tension or stress that might be caused or perceived to be caused by it is removed. It's just a suggestion and unfortunately, a bit late in the day if you are in court today.
I will not tell you my views about CAFCASS but needless to say since they are "independent social workers" who are paid per case, I am not so sure that they really care about producing a coherent report that is based on facts. You will be amazed at how poor their reports can sometimes be.

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

I would suggest that you have a word with the new barrister and say can you suggest that my daughter is handed over to the staff at the contact centre and mother says having a coffee somewhere else?

CAFCAS to my mind dont do a great deal of anything much, and take sides, my sister's ex is a violent drunk and he gets unsupervised access to the kids as the contact centre wouldnt accommidate him!

Keep your head held high and be yourself, you have done nothing wrong in this matter, give the mother as much rope as she needs to hang herself!

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

leclerc, your comments actually partially sum up todays preceedings very well, and thank you for taking the time to post.

Chapperone suggestion was applied and point blank refused by the mother, Cafcass report was described as "a pointless sacrifice of nature" by the judge (which i had to contain my laughter). Mother refused everything completely.

So a little out of character the judge asked to speak with me directly (in the presence of daughters mother and both sides legal representation). I put my views of the situation over and explained what I felt the best interests of my child were and gave my reasons why. He applauded my patience given the "delays" I have faced and then moved on to other issues raised. Indeirect contact has been blocked for a number of moths and when this was raised my daughters mother unsuprisingly became very agressive and accused me of lying. It really was a shame when I pulled out itemised billing and proof of postage to prove my claim. It didnt go down well at all.

Next up was my "plea" to utlise CAHMS, the judge agreed it was a highly relevent aspect of safeguarding my daughters emotional well being and again showed his disgust for the Cafcass report. Once again daughters mother disagreed and once again she lost as the judge felt this could only offer positivity for my child.

Then the judge dropped a bombshell, Cafcass have not disclosed the content of the contact centre report to the judge or solicitors, as he felt the report was pivotal he ordered that contact continue at the contact centre with a view to expanding to "outdoor/ activity" based contact once he reads the report. CAHMS will now assist my child and indirect contact will alter to emails and telephone calls directly to my childs mobile number. The chapperone refusal was accepted by the judge but he emphasised the dangers of flouting court orders.

So a pretty good day, but Cafcass openly let us all down by not doing as they should. I feel it was only through diplomacy and the reputation I have earned through this long process that has prevented the case being thrown out today. Once the judge see's the contact centre report he will have the same picture in his mind as I do (hopefully)

[FTW Mamuskills]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

puffrose your absolutely right. Cafcass hate the fact that I call them on it when they get it wrong. My ex doesnt like it that despite "possible" attempts, blocking contact is not working. I am getting there and with the CAHMS intervention the truth will be outed soon enough and that will answer my questions (even if they arent the answers i would like i will happily accept them from CAHMS)

[Celestine]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

Oh wow, I'm so happy you had a decent judge who clearly saw through the CAFCASS laziness. Well done FTW, your patience and perseverance ARE paying off! :beagle:

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Child contact process and delays.

I have NEVER been happier to read a post, a victory for common sense!!

Keep your head held high FTW, you have DEFINATELY earned the respect of every poster on LB!

Families Need Fathers!!!!