Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirror O

[PAWS]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

Once again FP; you are spot on. :okay:I do believe that most people going through this hell would know exactly what went wrong and do their best to avoid ever getting into that situation again. If you are the one lying awake at night you really do not need someone to come along and point out where it all went wrong! :doh: Being worried sick about your finances is not a life choice. Anyone who does not try to avoid it is an idiot. If a bad debtor is considered an obvious idiot by the financial organisations then why did they loan them the money in the first place?:wacko:

[Wombats]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

Vulnerable people are an easy target for profit - that is a very sad, very simple fact. Desperate people are an easy target for profit - another sad, simple fact.

It would be interesting to know how many in real debt are there because of foolish errors which nearly always teach lessons for the future, and how many are there because of circumstances beyond their control (loss of job, loss of health, divorce etc...) I'm not aware of a breakdown like this, but if anyone knows of one .........

There is so much truth in the saying, "the best things in life are free." Friends, family, walks, beaches, views, the ability to be content and live within and with oneself and so on. If everyone shared the views I've just read on here, all would be so much better. I know that even on consumer forums where, by their nature, people are likely to share a common interest, the animosity and judgements made about people can be horrendous. There are many forums where this discussion could not have happened and it is genuinely a credit to Legal Beagles as it is that we can have such discussions, and people can say and share what they choose without fear of judgement.

Time for a group hug and smug pats on backs all round! (But count me out as I'm not only antisocial but hate group hugs lol! I'll watch.)

It is a serious point though, I commented positively on a FMOTL site last week that I knew of no other forum where the discussion could have taken place so calmly and pleasantly - it was about a person's belief in God, but all discussed fantastically. What a shame that discussion and this discussion can't be extrapolated across all fora and instilled in all people. One can but dream. :beagle:

[Johnboy007]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

Well FP,
You stated 'The prospect of having to answer what they perceive to be awkward questions and the possibility of being told off, no matter how gently, for their mistakes, does put a lot of people off seeking help, which is totally counter-productive'.

The beauty of sites like this is, you don't have to sit there face to face with anyone.
People are more likely to tell you certain things, than if you was there in front of them
I think Mrs CW, is a classic example.......
It is embarrassing to have to discuss personal and often, very private details with anyone.
But this site has helped her 'open up' to fellow site members, and to the problems that are a great burden to her.
Talking about your problems can be a great help, and is much, much better than bottling them up and getting into a possible suicidal state of mind.
Just my opinion mate........:tinysmile_twink_t2:

[FlamingParrot]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

I totally agree!

The anonymity of the forums and the distance between you and the others makes it easier to open up, and if you don't like someone's responses, you can always add them to your ignore list. :grin:

[meellis]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

If I don't like somebody's responses it helps me more because I question myself more. Do I not like the response because I know they are telling the truth but I just don't want to hear. Are all the responses the same but not for the question I am trying to get across so my way of asking the question needs altering. Is the response just plainly stupid so not worth an action and it illustrates somebody playing games. Is the response just plainly made by somebody who you know is misunderstanding something and they need to be put right. Then after all that I might choose to ignore them.

[Johnboy007]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

I must admit that the issues we have with our Swift Advances plc secured loan and then losing against Balck Horse in the County Court....I did think of this way out for short period of time...an opening in my armour appeared.....luckily my Aries star sign qualities took over and it went away..but I can understand how and why people do take their own lives over debt that has gone out of control ...which is not completly all their fault.........the frustration, and anger, coupled with the feeling of hopelessnes .....this I can tell you is a fight on its own it takes you over and puts you in a finely balanced situation...and it can tip either way.....that is a big problem.



Sparkie

Thank God for Aries mate........

[Mrs Constant Worry]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

Good morning - just to say I have read these posts again and here goes at trying to explain what I feel this site offers.

To me every posting put here shows that there is a strong possibility that whatever state of mind you are in if you can find that 'opening in my armour' as described in Sparkie's post, then, there is the strong possibility that on here you will find the support that 'fits' your needs.

If you find yourself on here then you have managed to take those first steps. Because it seems there will be someone on LB who is able to 'think' about the whole picture at that point in time and offer 'options' that seem to relate to how you feel.

Not as my OH will say 'if you have got into debt then it is your fault. You should have done x, y and finally z!' (Would be a pretty short Forum wouldn't it?)

I think the saying 'you can talk to talk, but can you walk the walk?' often comes to mind when I hear my OH making his statements. No - he is not a bad person and has always worked extremely hard. Also our working lives consisted of - don't like that job get a different one on Monday. But he is stuck in the past and how he recalls working life was.

On Banks lending - our daughter (years ago) went overdrawn and she phoned me to say she had been into the bank as she got an appointment to explain her situation. She said I told them as a single parent I was finding it really hard and there was a school trip, etc, etc. She said they have offered me a loan which seems really good?! She said she filled it in whilst she was there and it means she will not be charged overdraft fees, etc.

I explained to her just what all this would mean and she said I didn't realise. I said they could see your only income was your benefit money as it was paid into that account. We faxed the form back and said it had to be cancelled. I then phoned the bank up and gave them a piece of my mind and said how dare they pick on someone like her and they said they do try to scrutinize each application. I said she was in your bank! I told them were as bad as loan sharks - made me feel better - but doesn't change the situation.

[Johnboy007]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

Good morning - just to say I have read these posts again and here goes at trying to explain what I feel this site offers.

To me every posting put here shows that there is a strong possibility that whatever state of mind you are in if you can find that 'opening in my armour' as described in Sparkie's post, then, there is the strong possibility that on here you will find the support that 'fits' your needs.

If you find yourself on here then you have managed to take those first steps. Because it seems there will be someone on LB who is able to 'think' about the whole picture at that point in time and offer 'options' that seem to relate to how you feel.

Not as my OH will say 'if you have got into debt then it is your fault. You should have done x, y and finally z!' (Would be a pretty short Forum wouldn't it?)

I think the saying 'you can talk to talk, but can you walk the walk?' often comes to mind when I hear my OH making his statements. No - he is not a bad person and has always worked extremely hard. Also our working lives consisted of - don't like that job get a different one on Monday. But he is stuck in the past and how he recalls working life was.

On Banks lending - our daughter (years ago) went overdrawn and she phoned me to say she had been into the bank as she got an appointment to explain her situation. She said I told them as a single parent I was finding it really hard and there was a school trip, etc, etc. She said they have offered me a loan which seems really good?! She said she filled it in whilst she was there and it means she will not be charged overdraft fees, etc.

I explained to her just what all this would mean and she said I didn't realise. I said they could see your only income was your benefit money as it was paid into that account. We faxed the form back and said it had to be cancelled. I then phoned the bank up and gave them a piece of my mind and said how dare they pick on someone like her and they said they do try to scrutinize each application. I said she was in your bank! I told them were as bad as loan sharks - made me feel better - but doesn't change the situation.

At least Mrs C.W you gave them a piece of your mind.
And the situation has changed, be it only a very tiny bit.
You are starting to talk about your problems, and that is a start in the right direction.

[Mrs Constant Worry]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

Thank you Johnb - I am starting to talk and it does help. However, I will only disclose what my son wants me to, about his personal affairs, and I am sure you will understand. BUT - at least I have got to posting copies of letters with his permission. xxx

[Johnboy007]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

Hi Mrs C.W,
I would not dream of asking you to disclose personal and very private information that you share with your son.
The process of healing does takes time.
How much time, depends on the circumstances.
It is a good start for your son, that he is at least, giving permission to talk about certain things.
In time, he will see that most of us here on LB, have been down the same road.
We know what it's like to experience the pains of life, to be at the bottom of the ladder.
But we also know, that with the right help, it is possible to start climbing it again.
We don't kid ourselves that one day we will reach the top. That's in the lap of fate and just a little bit of luck.
As long as he remains positive and has the love of his mum, then he has every chance of success.
Help is available, when he is ready to ask for it......