Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirror O

[Johnboy007]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

Your statement says it all.........
I am scared at what I will hear ££££
Without a doubt, your son has found himself with financial problems.
Signing on is meant to be a way, of at least keeping your head above water.
Cuts to the welfare budget, has seen this go down the pan.
At least your son is fortunate, in that he has a 'mum' who cares.
It is a pillar of comfort and support, that he can always rely on.
I guess he had worked for himself and now finds that impossible.
It is hard to change habits of a lifetime, but with your help. I'm sure he will succeed.
xx

[wales01man]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

As someone who was always self employed and never claimed Benefits even through the bad times I think I would be unemployable if I had to work now . Good job I am retired but if we can come up with a new Business idea I might well set up again several ideas floating around maybe one day?

[Mrs Constant Worry]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

YES! It is interesting how when you have always worked for yourself the ideas keep coming - son exactly the same. Hopefully one day.....

His Dad has no idea what it is like out there and that just adds fuel to many arguments. But then he has always had me for support and as a team. But when the rows starts it is always 'him' that has 'got all this' - interesting?! Son should get on with it, should do this, should tell this boss more money or I am off, etc, etc. If I say 'where to?' He has no answer. I say at least he has a constant supply of money each month at the moment to get himself back on his feet.

Then OH will go back to 'he should have done this, etc, etc.' I beat my head against brick wall trying to reason, bless him, but ask him how much bills are - no idea - I do this and he does all the DIY. Team work but I have contributed my wages and partnership for no pay so it seems for 40+ years - it is all his. Mmmm another thread.:tinysmile_hmm_t2:.

[PAWS]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

Ok, millions of people have some form of debt. It might be a Mortgage or Car loan. These millions include the sniffy self-righteous brigade. Now if their income drops and they find themselves unable to meet their repayments they might be tempted to put the food shopping on the credit card just until they are straight again. But things don’t improve and they have to use the card again. Then they have to re-mortgage to pay off the car loan and the credit card as the bank is getting a bit nasty. ‘Hugo’ is made redundant and doesn’t get the job he was promised and now the second mortgage needs to be paid and the boiler has just blown up. They now have a less than perfect credit record so they have to go to the less salubrious lenders. No one has done anything wrong. No one is a failure.
The point I am trying to make is that it is a fine line that the majority of people thread. Even the most frugal people will need credit in one form or another at some time in their lives. One small unforeseen slip up and under we go.
Entrepreneurs are essential to the development of any society. I absolutely bow down to anyone with the courage to start up on their own but unfortunately the lenders and the treasury in this country do not give them adequate support. Even Alan Sugar has gone bankrupt at least twice! :tinysmile_twink_t2:
Anyone who is suffering from any form of self-doubt or feelings of failure just because they are in financial difficulties should read the report compiled by the University Of Brighton School Of Social Science. It was called Responsible People and Irresponsible Institutions. http://about.brighton.ac.uk/sass/new...30123-debt.php

[Wombats]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

There is an issue here which nobody has really mentioned. When you are as desperate and low as that poor man was, you think of nothing else. You are unable to think of anything or anyone else. At that point, and probably for some time before, you are extremely ill. Your mental state has been altered, and this can happen for numerous reasons, debt being just one. It can also happen in almost literally an instant.

People struggle and battle with these feelings for years and years trying to find some sort of inner peace which will allow them to lead the 'normal' life they so crave. Others sadly don't get the chance to battle and as they see things at that moment in time, their death is the only resolution to their issue. It is a tragedy he could neither see, nor find another way, but he did what he felt was right at the time.

There but by the Grace of God goes everyone posting on this site, however strong they feel they are.

My prayers and thoughts are very much with the family and loved ones left behind. RIP

[PAWS]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

The aggressive actions of debt collectors and lenders are responsible for many people committing suicide.
That’s it. Straight forward and to the point. They have blood on their hands. End of story. It is not us- it is them.
Many years ago we had a major financial crisis (one we are still recovering from). I was extremely ill and not expected to make it. I was about to go into hospital for major surgery which could go either way and to be honest was not at all confident I would ever see my home again. I called Santander to ask them to ‘lay off’ the harassment as my husband would be going through hell and I would not be there. I am not a crier but this girl in the collections dept. was so aggressive and I was very weak and in pain so I burst into tears. She forgot to put me on hold as she yelled to her colleagues “not yet 10 o’clock and I made one cry already’.
This was not a pay day lender, this was not a loan shark, and this was not a DCA vulture. This was Santander.
Unfortunately I did not have her name and was more worried about survival at the time but now, well, thanks to Legal Beagles I would never stand for that. There is nothing like a good fight to give one a will to live!!!
Yea, we may be skint but no one will ever hate me the way I hate her and the bank she worked for. (Well actually my Mother in Law hates me and ……… long list)

By the way; what is the matter with our society when people would rather admit to having an STD than a CCJ.

[PAWS]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

And another thing……
DCA £x
Rent £x
Council tax £x
To have a mother Like Mrs. CW and support from the LegalBeagles team
Priceless

[Mrs Constant Worry]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

There is an issue here which nobody has really mentioned. When you are as desperate and low as that poor man was, you think of nothing else. You are unable to think of anything or anyone else. At that point, and probably for some time before, you are extremely ill. Your mental state has been altered, and this can happen for numerous reasons, debt being just one. It can also happen in almost literally an instant.

People struggle and battle with these feelings for years and years trying to find some sort of inner peace which will allow them to lead the 'normal' life they so crave. Others sadly don't get the chance to battle and as they see things at that moment in time, their death is the only resolution to their issue. It is a tragedy he could neither see, nor find another way, but he did what he felt was right at the time.

There but by the Grace of God goes everyone posting on this site, however strong they feel they are.

My prayers and thoughts are very much with the family and loved ones left behind. RIP

I hope that by talking about my son I have not given the impression that I am not terribly sad for Ian's family and his state of mind. They will most probably be wondering if they could have somehow helped to stop it happening, etc, etc. I did say -

I saw that happen but it was all happening under the water and when he came up for air - it was drink. It was a very lonely place he didn't want to share it with us because of my serious health diagnosis, my treatment and his pride. But the problem was there and some maybe just find that place too unbearable as poor Ian ****** found.

I am also familiar with mental illness as our daughter was diagnosed with Bi-Polar about 20 years ago and we have watched the highs, lows, being Sectioned, looking after her two children whilst she is in hospital, etc. She has now accepted that she has it, with the right support, and that is another story but she went through all the emotions. Along the way we met several families who have lost their loved ones and debt is all too familiar with mental health.

Fortunately for us we still have our son and daughter and my heart goes out to Ian's family.

[meellis]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

You all touch on a fair few things here, I am self employed and I say to my customers that it would be better if I was a big company where the staff doing the billing didn't actually know the people they were billing so it takes any personal feelings straight out of the equation. Sound for business but then the lack of personal feelings makes these people to become arrogant. You then put bonus's and commissions in there and targets to hit and to some it becomes a competition to be the best and they then become void of any humanity and of course these bonus's are why the debt is getting larger and more un-affordable in the first place. The Con-dems are actually saying that we are recovering really strongly and are in a good position, I have yet to find many people who agree with them, Most people are so busy scraping together enough to try and clear their debts that they don't have anything left to squander and actually boost the economy. Peoples debts need to be looked at in a fair way, a way that people actually can pay a realistic amount back to the people owed not to a management company who takes their share from it. Debts shouldn't be allowed to be sold on , if the debtor is responsible for paying his/her debt then the creditor should be the only one responsible for collection. If the creditor is too lazy or finds it a financial burden collecting it themselves then they should only be allowed to right it off. it is crazy how they can except pennies in the pound from DCA's but not from the debtor and lets face it any money they lose they just add on to somebody else's bill. If these people weren't making so much from doing it they would calm down and not act like pigs at a trough at feeding time.

[Sparkie1723]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

Good Post meelliss.......its "mainly DCA's" that are to blame for instilling suicidal tendancies into a person....and the point about selling the debt on for pennies...which could be put to a borrower who is in REAL financial trouble is a sensible way of looking at it .......I don't mean EVERY debtor in trouble.......but the ones who are really and truly in trouble through no real deliberate fault of their own.
Courts could easily decide which ones are and say...... OK pay up £100 now and you no longer owe that £2, ...3 ....5....000. debt.
But if you come back again with another debt the no mercy will be shown and you will be forced to pay all your dues......i.e lesson learned ....neither borrower or lender be......that's an old saying with a lot of truth in it....but the lesson is a hard one to learn.....I have only REALLY just learnt it.

More ravings from
Senile old Sparkie

[meellis]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

Stopping peoples pre conceived notions about life is a difficult one, I am sure we have all met someone who doesn't understand mental illness and still will say "pull yourself together and get on with it". People will still say you borrowed the money did ever expect you wouldn't have to pay it back you are responsible for your own actions. I am going to confess to a naughty thing I did this week but it really made me see peoples attitudes and how you cant change them. I went into builders merchants and the only place left to park was a disabled bay so I parked there. I was in the wrong but I was also aware that these bays were only put there to please building regs and they are never used by disabled people ( I am a regular visitor to this merchants). I got out of my van and this bloke started to have a go at me and his first line was Oh you can walk alright then. Now I know I was in the wrong parking there but I couldn't explain to this person that just because I could walk ok and I had all of my limbs he shouldn't assume I wasn't disabled and start attacking me because he is just being as ignorant. I was well aware of the person who died in a car park from being attacked because the attacker did not know the person was disabled with a heart condition which the attack brought on. I am also aware that people with illness's that come and go get attacked for the same reason where they get a disability badge for their illness but on a good day it is not always apparent they are in fact disabled. I am in no way trying to condone my actions of parking in a disabled bay but I am trying to highlight the fact that it is hard to make some people aware that their is more than one side to problem so they shouldn't be blinkered when they come across a problem.

[Johnboy007]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

Stopping peoples pre conceived notions about life is a difficult one, I am sure we have all met someone who doesn't understand mental illness and still will say "pull yourself together and get on with it". People will still say you borrowed the money did ever expect you wouldn't have to pay it back you are responsible for your own actions. I am going to confess to a naughty thing I did this week but it really made me see peoples attitudes and how you cant change them. I went into builders merchants and the only place left to park was a disabled bay so I parked there. I was in the wrong but I was also aware that these bays were only put there to please building regs and they are never used by disabled people ( I am a regular visitor to this merchants). I got out of my van and this bloke started to have a go at me and his first line was Oh you can walk alright then. Now I know I was in the wrong parking there but I couldn't explain to this person that just because I could walk ok and I had all of my limbs he shouldn't assume I wasn't disabled and start attacking me because he is just being as ignorant. I was well aware of the person who died in a car park from being attacked because the attacker did not know the person was disabled with a heart condition which the attack brought on. I am also aware that people with illness's that come and go get attacked for the same reason where they get a disability badge for their illness but on a good day it is not always apparent they are in fact disabled. I am in no way trying to condone my actions of parking in a disabled bay but I am trying to highlight the fact that it is hard to make some people aware that their is more than one side to problem so they shouldn't be blinkered when they come across a problem.

The answer to this problem my friend, is very simple.
If you are not disabled, then DON'T PARK IN A DISABLED BAY.
And disable people do use builders merchants.
This way you avoid confrontation.
End of story.:tinysmile_twink_t2:

[Johnboy007]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

[meellis]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

Thank you Johnboy just goes to prove how people can miss the point.

[PAWS]

Re: Man who killed himself over £20,000 payday loan debt ‘started owing £100s’ – Mirr

Sorry, don’t mean to go off on a tangent or anything but come on, many of us after going up and down the multi-story 3 times, passing all those empty disabled bays, trying to find a spot, has had a little dark moment!:car: At Christmas, outside the supermarket it is chaos and believe me it isa mad scramble to get a parking space. I have watched people bounding out ofcars parked in disabled bays and thought very bad and dark thoughts. Not the nice PC thoughts that I have at dinner parties!:behindsofa:
However my sister is disabled and she cannot walk very far so I do appreciate the need to keep these spaces vacant but I am only human and just being honest!