Things turning nasty with family over property

[Gilganjn]

Re: Things turning nasty with family over property

Hi ( monday mornings over, its safe now :tinysmile_aha_t: )

You really need to speak to your dad before you go digging about, there is quite a lot your not taking into account financially, and maybe consider your sisters being quite decednt to you, letting you live there rent free, and without paying bills.. in the long term, familys are much more valuble than money... Were would you be now without your lovely sisters consideration.... :hug:

I have been doing what I did for my sister's family for years, allowing her stay there and hopefully save money on a deposit for their own place. Living in an excellent location, having the privilege of using the whole house & garden for half price rent. I have been considering her family for many, many, many years. The probem is she's now thrown that back in my face by saying that the property has nothing to do with me. She has no appreciation for what I did, and has reduced it to dust. You see my sister was always a sort of manipulative person, using emotional blackmail to get her own way - ever since she was a child. I'm just shell-shocked that in this situation she's using the same childish behaviour against me.

Thank you for your post here actually. You've made me realize that I did a lot for my sister and her family but it has never been appreciated and never will be. So I think I will stop doing it now.

[wales01man]

Re: Things turning nasty with family over property

Have you checked on land registry yet it will tell you the owners that's the starting point of any action you may want to take

[Crazy council]

Re: Things turning nasty with family over property

wow... bugging out...... my skills are more attuned to sorting out problems....Wish you the best of luck Gilganjn...... i would start looking for someware to live now..... Because your sisters the tenant, you just a lodger ...... She can just give you imedeate notice...and change the locks when your out..... if you do own a share in the property,,, it does not give you any rights over the tenancy......

[Gilganjn]

Re: Things turning nasty with family over property

wow... bugging out...... my skills are more attuned to sorting out problems....Wish you the best of luck Gilganjn...... i would start looking for someware to live now..... Because your sisters the tenant, you just a lodger ...... She can just give you imedeate notice...and change the locks when your out..... if you do own a share in the property,,, it does not give you any rights over the tenancy......

So what rights do I have, hypothetically speaking. Not that I'm going down this path but I'd like to know where I stand because I'm going to stop looking at the property as a family affair from now on, and start looking at it as a business commodity. I had her family at heart for 10 years, doing them a massive favour and she's now thrown all that back in my face, behaving as if I did nothing for her! It's time for me to stop doing that because it was never appreciated and never will be. Your previous post made me realize that, thanks.

10 years ago it was agreed that me and my sister would share usage of the property - 2 years for her, 2 years for me, back and forth so that we'd all benefit equally. But, within the first two years, she got married, had a kid and got comfortable there so I let her stay on and didn't remind her of that agreement, I just let things be for a long time. Now she's saying we never had the agreement and the property never had anything to do me.

[Gilganjn]

Re: Things turning nasty with family over property

Have you checked on land registry yet it will tell you the owners that's the starting point of any action you may want to take

I haven't checked that yet but I'm going to check it soon. Given everything I've described, what action do you think I should take? Or what action would you take in this situation (if any)?

[MissFM]

Re: Things turning nasty with family over property

Write it all down coolly, calmly and accurately on a timeline. Check the Land registry (it'll cost you 3 quid and you'll get the answer straight away). Then think what you ideally want to achieve and we'll try to help you work out the most painless way of getting there. x

[Gilganjn]

Re: Things turning nasty with family over property

Write it all down coolly, calmly and accurately on a timeline. Check the Land registry (it'll cost you 3 quid and you'll get the answer straight away). Then think what you ideally want to achieve and we'll try to help you work out the most painless way of getting there. x

I will do that MissFM, thanks a lot for your advice and understanding here. It really means a lot to me that some people here can see my side of things. My sister is so good at manipulating situations and people that even I have started to doubt myself and my position. I've started thinking maybe the property really has nothing to do with me, even though I'm a co-owner. She does it all with a sneer and a sort of malicious laugh, she even called me "mentally ill". But at other times she can be a really nice person and a good mother too.

Really, if she just said "thank you for being kind to me and letting me and my family stay there for so long, you are a very good person for doing that and I will always appreciate it." - that's all it would take for me to confirm that I have done the right thing all along, and I would just leave it at that. I would move out as soon as possible and everything would return to how it was. But instead, by saying the house has got nothing to do with me, she's making me think I did everything wrong and should have looked at the whole thing from a business perspective instead of a family one right from the start.

[des8]

Re: Things turning nasty with family over property

As I first suggested back in post 14, you must discover the ownership position from the land registry.
The next move will then, to a certain extent, depend on what type of trust, if any, exists.
This may well have a bearing on the tax financial position to which Crazy Council has been alluding.

[Gilganjn]

Re: Things turning nasty with family over property

As I first suggested back in post 14, you must discover the ownership position from the land registry.
The next move will then, to a certain extent, depend on what type of trust, if any, exists.
This may well have a bearing on the tax financial position to which Crazy Council has been alluding.

I will do that des8, the land registry is the first port of call. I actually re-read your original post only a few minutes ago. I am worried about the tax position, I don't really understand that aspect at all. I will re-read Crazy Council's post on that and then do some research on the issue. I think when it's all said and done I probably won't take any actual action because I would just feel too guilty because of the kids. Undoubtedly I would fall out with my sister and her family, I'd probably rarely see the kids and my sister might spin them a story of me being a monster. It would be sad. But still it would be nice to at least know where I stand legally.

Unfortunately I won't be able to check the land registry details until Friday at the earliest. Do you know if it's possible to do that anywhere in person, paying via cash? Or by bank transfer instead? When I checked the site it seems that only card payments are possible but I don't have any of the cards they listed as acceptable.

[Gilganjn]

Re: Things turning nasty with family over property

I can't believe it, I just spoke with the kids half an hour ago and my sister has told them that they might be moving house and it's all my fault. Just after my last post where I said she would spin them a story of me being a monster, it's already started within a few hours of that post. And I don't want them to move out of there. I don't even know if she means it anyway or if it's just some sort of manipulation that she's now getting the kids involved with. But she shouldn't have told them that, I feel very bad about it all, isn't it wrong for her to tell the kids that? What should I do?

[Crazy council]

Re: Things turning nasty with family over property

She is a parent. You have to plan at least 3-5 years ahead, i would imagine she feels her familys life has been turned upsidedown by you. Put yourself in there position. Imagine when you was younger if an uncle turns up, demands you have to leave or pay him for living at there bequest, rent free. Sounds like your sisters haveing a terrible time, and her kids... You should have rung and asked your dad before even bringing it up with her

[MissFM]

Re: Things turning nasty with family over property

I see absolutely no reason at all to involve the children, even if the assumptions above are correct. I would suggest that you reassure them that this is not the case at all, they mustn't worry - it's grown-up stuff - and try to have a heart to heart with your sister, adult to adult, when you can both be calm.

It is a shame you are under the same roof, IMO, as it seems to be destroying the good in your relationship - all the more reason to get all this out in the open and sorted ASAP.

As a matter of interest, are you an uncle or an auntie?

[righty]

Re: Things turning nasty with family over property

You refer to it being set up when you were children If so there must be or have been a Trust somewhere. Can you remember the solicitor who set it up ?

[Gilganjn]

Re: Things turning nasty with family over property

She is a parent. You have to plan at least 3-5 years ahead, i would imagine she feels her familys life has been turned upsidedown by you. Put yourself in there position. Imagine when you was younger if an uncle turns up, demands you have to leave or pay him for living at there bequest, rent free. Sounds like your sisters haveing a terrible time, and her kids... You should have rung and asked your dad before even bringing it up with her

I never demanded that they have to leave, I planned on being here for a short time and moving on. I've been here for much longer than expected after receiving many rejection emails for job applications. I don't really feel much sympathy for my sister anymore, I've done her a massive favour and she doesn't appreciate it in the slightest. I just feel bad that she's now turning her children against me which I think is wrong and indicative of her manipulative nature. There is no need to involve young children like that.

I spoke with my dad yesterday and he agrees that what I did was a kind and generous thing for her family, for many years. I told him that I'd like to move out as soon as possible. He says his ideal scenario would be if everyone moved out when possible so that he could get the full rental value.

[enquirer]

Re: Things turning nasty with family over property

I can't believe it, I just spoke with the kids half an hour ago and my sister has told them that they might be moving house and it's all my fault. Just after my last post where I said she would spin them a story of me being a monster, it's already started within a few hours of that post. And I don't want them to move out of there. I don't even know if she means it anyway or if it's just some sort of manipulation that she's now getting the kids involved with. But she shouldn't have told them that, I feel very bad about it all, isn't it wrong for her to tell the kids that? What should I do?

Anyone who resorts to this sort of blackmail is worthy of no consideration.

Bear in mind, that as a co-owner, you can't just walk away - you will always have some liability. Either finish with the property altogether (a buy-out perhaps, or you could deed away your interest if you want out at any price), or smash her in the courts.