Threat of a Money Claim

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

I think you have just put the whole thing in context. Your Mum has lost her husband (he sadly died), her son (he's gone to uni) and now you (getting married and off to the US). This is bereavement big time.

When my daughter left home I was beside myself with pain although I now quite like it but only a decade later.

Give the woman a break. You both deserve one because you lost your father too

[MissFM]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

That thought had crossed my mind, though we have been engaged since May and she has frequently said that she is happy for me although she will miss me. You may have guessed from the life insurance bit but my dad died a while ago. In the week leading up to this, some developments happened relating to the hospital negligence he suffered as well as my granddad having an op to remove a cancerous tumour so I've been questioning whether this is a reaction to stress or some kind of breakdown. That is extremely likely, imho.

What happened was we dropped my younger brother off at his uni last Sunday and she just drove off without me. I came back to the house in total darkness and keys on the inside so I couldn't get in. I had nothing on me (medication, money etc) When she was in work the next day I got in with the help of a locksmith and took my things. It was then the phone calls started demanding money back and I received the letter yesterday (Saturday).

To be honest I'm feeling very hurt and very confused, the threat of legal action is terrifying me. I don't want WWIII, I just want everything to be as it was before but I have no idea how to go back and no idea how to go forward!

I think that analysis may be correct. As a mother and grandmother I cannot conceive of any other reason for your mother's odd and hurtful behaviour and it's clearly out of character from what you say.

http://www.helptoheal.co.uk/help/family-counselling

may be of use, but I have no personal experience of them. I have a friend that does family counselling & will ask her for recommended routes.

:hug: Don't be too afraid - your mother loves you (we can't help but do so) and there will be a way through.

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

That thought had crossed my mind, though we have been engaged since May and she has frequently said that she is happy for me although she will miss me. You may have guessed from the life insurance bit but my dad died a while ago. In the week leading up to this, some developments happened relating to the hospital negligence he suffered as well as my granddad having an op to remove a cancerous tumour so I've been questioning whether this is a reaction to stress or some kind of breakdown.

What happened was we dropped my younger brother off at his uni last Sunday and she just drove off without me. I came back to the house in total darkness and keys on the inside so I couldn't get in. I had nothing on me (medication, money etc) When she was in work the next day I got in with the help of a locksmith and took my things. It was then the phone calls started demanding money back and I received the letter yesterday (Saturday).

To be honest I'm feeling very hurt and very confused, the threat of legal action is terrifying me. I don't want WWIII, I just want everything to be as it was before but I have no idea how to go back and no idea how to go forward!

Thank you both for your kind words

[MissFM]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

I absolutely share in PlanB's (& your) sadness at reading your post and feel for you intensely (in fact am presently in tears having read this).

I can't give you legal advice but will say that people are not at liberty to retract gifts freely given.

There must be another way around this - a way to repair your relationship with your mother - have you considered mediation?

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

This is all so sad

Do you think it has anything to do with the fact that you will be marrying and moving to the US? Could this be an emotional battle not a financial or legal battle? Could it reflect your mother's heartbreak at losing you to another man and another continent and not a threat based on spite? Weddings bring out highly charged emotions even in he most rational of beings.

I speak as a mother.

My parents were always threatening to make me pay back the school fees they had shelled out on me when they thought I was out of order. It was a controlling thing. Maybe try to reconcile with your Mum before this turns into WWIII.

Others will tell you your legal rights