Threat of a Money Claim

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

PlanB, I honestly don't know. Possibly because she knows she's not very good with money and she fritters it. It does seem a bit weird now but at the time that's just what we decided to do.

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Your Mum has lost her husband (he sadly died)

Would his demise have been less traumatic if he'd died laughing?

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

The £20K was paid into my bank account via a cheque from my mother's account. This was put in my instant-access savings account so that we could have access to it at all times whilst she is renovating the house and needed to make withdrawals. It wasn't a gift, just a safe place to keep the money

Do you think there may have been another reason why your mother placed this money into an account in your name and not hers? Why didn't she simply open her own instant access account?

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

I think that psychoanalysis may be appropriate.

I've fixed your post for you.

She's plainly round the twist.

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

She can make a court claim whenever she feels like it but whether she succeeds or not will be decided by whether she's actually owed the money. This complicated scenario of your late father's life insurance money may be at the root of all this.You say £20k was paid into your bank account. What was the reason for this unless you were the beneficiary and not her (his wife)? I'm not prying I'm simply trying to establish whether she may have a legal case. Also can you explain a bit more about the £4k staircase. Do you mean you paid for it on her behalf out of the £6k left in your bank account after you gave her £14k of the life insurance money? Whose name is on the invoice and receipt for the stairs - yours or hers? Is the house in your mother's sole name or is it jointly owned by you (and perhaps your brother)? I ask this in case there is some relevance to do with a perceived 'investment' in the property of £4k's worth of improvements.A lot will depend on whether the £20k which was deposited in your bank was a 'gift' from your mother or a life insurance pay-out due to you or due to your mother.

The £20K was paid into my bank account via a cheque from my mother's account. This was put in my instant-access savings account so that we could have access to it at all times whilst she is renovating the house and needed to make withdrawals. It wasn't a gift, just a safe place to keep the money where it could easily be used.What I mean by the £4K staircase is that she originally put in £20K, I sent back £14K to her the day after/the night she drove off without me (I don't remember which day off-hand) and she has assumed that I have either spent the missing £6K or that I still have it in my account, keeping it for myself. However, I have done neither. The "missing" £6K has dribbled out of the account through her spending, the biggest of which was when she asked me to withdraw the £4K for the staircase. The other £2K has gone on monthly expenditure, various other small home improvement costs and Christmas presents. She has either forgotten about this or "forgotten" about this.These transactions were either withdrawn in cash from the account, sent via online bank transfer to her bank account or sent via online bank transfer to our joint credit card.Her name is on the invoice and receipt for the stairs. The house is in her name.

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

she is demanding back is £6000 which I apparently have in my account from my dad's life insurance money. She originally put £20,000 of this money into my account and I sent £14,000 of this back to her on the first day that the breakdown of our relationship happened. She seems to think that I have the missing £6000, although she seems to conveniently be forgetting the £4000 stairs she just put in and the money she spent on Christmas using this money. . . .

. . . Would she be able to claim for the £6000 as it was in a bank account in my name? I am sure I can prove that she spent this money herself from the date of receipts for the stairs and my statements should show that the money was transferred to her account.

She can make a court claim whenever she feels like it but whether she succeeds or not will be decided by whether she's actually owed the money. This complicated scenario of your late father's life insurance money may be at the root of all this.

You say £20k was paid into your bank account. What was the reason for this unless you were the beneficiary and not her (his wife)? I'm not prying I'm simply trying to establish whether she may have a legal case.

Also can you explain a bit more about the £4k staircase. Do you mean you paid for it on her behalf out of the £6k left in your bank account after you gave her £14k of the life insurance money? Whose name is on the invoice and receipt for the stairs - yours or hers? Is the house in your mother's sole name or is it jointly owned by you (and perhaps your brother)? I ask this in case there is some relevance to do with a perceived 'investment' in the property of £4k's worth of improvements.

A lot will depend on whether the £20k which was deposited in your bank was a 'gift' from your mother or a life insurance pay-out due to you or due to your mother.

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Hi,,,Firstly my condolences on the loss of your Father....as the other Beagles have said,grief does the strangest things to folks,,we all react differently..
Personally..I would have called the police to gain entry to her property but that's in the past now and cannot be changed.

You have 2 possible scenarios here,,she is either having kneejerk reactions to everyone 'leaving' her..you to USA your brother to Uni..maybe a family member could 'mediate'?
Or,,as enquirer says....this is a vicious nasty behaviour and could well be calculated to fit in with your brother going away from the family home so she can turn on you.
Either way,,,you need proper legal advice and quickly.
You say you can prove everything financially ,so she doesn't have a cats chance in Hell of making a law suit happen.

You are,sadly,finding out the hard way that Death,grief,money etc brings out either the worst or best in people,,nothing brings out someones true colours more than money.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Enquirer may be right - only you can decide - but some courses of action have no return and it's up to you whether you want to burn all bridges without going that extra mile looking for conciliation.

We as anonymous strangers give opinions based on our own experience, hoping to help - but it's your life and you have to live it and with whatever you decide to do. Wishing you the very best x

My mother is what I would call a "passionate" woman. She acts first, thinks later although nothing like this has ever happened before. She usually just says hurtful things in the heat of the moment and we make up afterwards.

I do appreciate all your kind words, thoughts and advice. It's all been very helpful. It's been good to get the advice of people who aren't emotionally involved. I think that once someone with some legal advice comes along I'll feel extra reassured- or prepared, as the case may be.

[MissFM]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Sorry, by medication I meant MINE- yes, that was what I;d assumed I couldn't get in the house to get my asthma pumps etc which I need every day which is why I ended up having to get a locksmith to get me into the house. The behaviour is still out of the ordinary though, I agree, though not sure my GP could help as it's become quite large and you see a new/different GP each time you go, unlike when I was a child and I could remember the GPs' names. Still think it's worth a try - GP's have seen many things and are also a gateway to other services.

I have been considering replying to her letter saying that I don't want things between us to stay broken and that I am hurting from this but knowing her that would make her angry. Isn't that a risk worth taking? Could things get any worse? Likewise, if I continue to ignore the letter she sent me demanding money I am sure she will also become just as infuriated. Is your mother given to this kind of fury or is it brought on by grief?

Enquirer, the viciousness and the swiftness with which she has done all this has shocked me. What you say makes sense. If she does claim, how would I state that I feel it is malicious? On the initial defence form or would it have to wait til court?

Enquirer may be right - only you can decide - but some courses of action have no return and it's up to you whether you want to burn all bridges without going that extra mile looking for conciliation.

We as anonymous strangers give opinions based on our own experience, hoping to help - but it's your life and you have to live it and with whatever you decide to do. Wishing you the very best x

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

I do have spares in both my work bag and day to day bag but as we were just jumping in the car to drop my brother off I didn't take anything with me but my phone.

Sorry- on the first night I was locked out I ended up calling my aunty who picked me up. I've been staying here ever since and I'm welcome here for as long as I need.

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

by medication I meant MINE- I couldn't get in the house to get my asthma pumps etc which I need every day which is why I ended up having to get a locksmith to get me into the house.

. . . . I have been considering replying to her letter saying that I don't want things between us to stay broken and that I am hurting from this

My daughter keeps her asthma inhalers in her handbag in case of emergency. You should maybe do the same.

Write your mother that letter saying you feel hurt too.

Where do you live? Are you currently locked out of your own home? It's not clear.

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Sorry, by medication I meant MINE- I couldn't get in the house to get my asthma pumps etc which I need every day which is why I ended up having to get a locksmith to get me into the house. The behaviour is still out of the ordinary though, I agree, though not sure my GP could help as it's become quite large and you see a new/different GP each time you go, unlike when I was a child and I could remember the GPs' names.

I have been considering replying to her letter saying that I don't want things between us to stay broken and that I am hurting from this but knowing her that would make her angry. Likewise, if I continue to ignore the letter she sent me demanding money I am sure she will also become just as infuriated.

Enquirer, the viciousness and the swiftness with which she has done all this has shocked me. What you say makes sense. If she does claim, how would I state that I feel it is malicious? On the initial defence form or would it have to wait til court?

[enquirer]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

What suggests that this is not a breakdown, is the sheer, calculated, viciousness of it all. This is extremely controlling behaviour.

Should she be so unwise as to launch a claim, then you appear to have more than sufficient evidence to win. As the claim is malicious, you would claim costs.

There would of course be publicity, and everyone would find out how she has behaved. You might draw this to her attention.

[MissFM]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

What happened was we dropped my younger brother off at his uni last Sunday and she just drove off without me. I came back to the house in total darkness and keys on the inside so I couldn't get in. I had nothing on me (medication, money etc) When she was in work the next day I got in with the help of a locksmith and took my things. It was then the phone calls started demanding money back and I received the letter yesterday (Saturday).

Powerchord, as I'm sure you're aware, this is very peculiar behaviour. Have you discussed it with your GP? If you have a family doctor who knows you as a family it might be a sensible first base?

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

your mother loves you (we can't help but do so) and there will be a way through.

Tell me about it