Threat of a Money Claim

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

(argh! Won't let me edit the above post to add this!)

MissFM- things like decorations for the wedding reception etc.

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

I can see you're searching for answers and we are trying to help you get them so please don't think our questions are anything other than an attempt to find you a way out of this sad situation

The day your brother went back to uni seems to have been the trigger for a final showdown. I don't now how far away his uni is from the family home but the three of you (Mum, Daughter & Son) set off in your mother's car to take him back following a weekend at home. After you got out of the car your mother drove off and left you behind. That's what you said here:



I've regularly screeched to a halt and told my smartarse daughter to "get out" of my car (sometimes with my foot in her back ) but I've never abandoned her in a strange place because I care about her safety however tempting it may have been.

Then you say you and your brother went to your Mother's house so does he have a car too or how else did you get back home together?:



After that it seems you were collected by your Aunty while I presume your brother made his way back to uni with or without a car.

Have you heard from your brother since this incident?

That's right. My brother and I got out of the car to take his belongings into his room and she drove off.

My brother does have a car, it was in the uni car park. He only tends to use it for local trips (going to the shop etc) and catches the national express bus home as it's cheaper than petrol plus the cost of the toll on the severn bridge, so he had caught the bus home on the Friday, leaving his car in uni, then my mum brought him back in her car. My brother then drove us both back to the house in his car.

After that, yes, my aunty came to collect me and my brother chose to drive back to uni in his own car as he had lectures the next day. I speak to my brother every day and he's equally as angry and upset, if not more so, than I am about the situation. Aside from the answerphone message I already mentioned, she's only contacted him once since this happened which was to ask him where he was and why he was posting things through her letterbox. This was during a break between lectures so he was very confused and said he was at uni, she said she didn't believe him and that if he posted anything else she'd call the police. I wonder what went through the letterbox :/ was nothing to do with either of us kids.

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

I can see you're searching for answers and we are trying to help you get them so please don't think our questions are anything other than an attempt to find you a way out of this sad situation

The day your brother went back to uni seems to have been the trigger for a final showdown. I don't now how far away his uni is from the family home but the three of you (Mum, Daughter & Son) set off in your mother's car to take him back following a weekend at home. After you got out of the car your mother drove off and left you behind. That's what you said here:

What happened was we dropped my younger brother off at his uni last Sunday and she just drove off without me

I've regularly screeched to a halt and told my smartarse daughter to "get out" of my car (sometimes with my foot in her back ) but I've never abandoned her in a strange place because I care about her safety however tempting it may have been.

Then you say you and your brother went to your Mother's house so does he have a car too or how else did you get back home together?:

my brother and I were ringing her from about 10mins after she drove off and we realised she wasn't coming back. We then spent an hour outside the house knocking, ringing both the landline and her mobile trying to speak to her/get in.

After that it seems you were collected by your Aunty while I presume your brother made his way back to uni with or without a car.

Have you heard from your brother since this incident?

[MissFM]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Oh that was a ticket she asked me to get online for her. David Essex, the second love of her life after my dad I actually emailed it over to her weeks ago but she's either deleted it accidently or not seen it. I just added that bit about the ticket to show that the messages were a bit of a rant. That's a bit of a disappointment - I was hoping it was to be her USA flight:tinysmile_twink_t2:

My fiancé is furious. I think he's struggling as he's far away so there's not a whole lot he can do save for being there for me. He and my mum have a funny love/hate relationship. She thinks he's great because he's protective and a provider etc but she doesn't like the fact that he'll tell her straight when she's wrong or has said something silly. His general opinion of her is that she's quite difficult to get along with but I don't think he minds her really. sounds like the classic M-i-L/S-i-L relationship

What are the other gifted items she wants you to pay her for (apart from the dress - that really does upset me btw)?

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Oh that was a ticket she asked me to get online for her. David Essex, the second love of her life after my dad I actually emailed it over to her weeks ago but she's either deleted it accidently or not seen it. I just added that bit about the ticket to show that the messages were a bit of a rant.

My fiancé is furious. I think he's struggling as he's far away so there's not a whole lot he can do save for being there for me. He and my mum have a funny love/hate relationship. She thinks he's great because he's protective and a provider etc but she doesn't like the fact that he'll tell her straight when she's wrong or has said something silly. His general opinion of her is that she's quite difficult to get along with but I don't think he minds her really.

[MissFM]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

I'm very sorry to hear that

If you can afford to pay her - particularly for the wedding dress - then to offer to do so (whilst emphasizing that it was a gift but under the circs.. etc.) might shock her into seeing just how bizarre this situation has become.

These vary from "I want that ticket you bought for me" to

What ticket?

What does you fiance think of all this? And how does he/she get on with your mother?

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Re-reading this thread, there is another thing that "screams" misunderstanding to me:

as your brother clearly has his own transport, your Mum may well have driven off thinking you wanted to spend time with him and that he would bring you back the next day. She may also have been overcome with emotion on seeing her chick leaving home.

No evil intention - just crossed wires.

Then - misunderstanding compounded - you break into the house, send back some of the money....etc., etc..

Do you see what I mean? x

A nice thought but definitely not the case. Both my brother and I were ringing her from about 10mins after she drove off and we realised she wasn't coming back. We then spent an hour outside the house knocking, ringing both the landline and her mobile trying to speak to her/get in. My brother then had that horrible "don't contact me, I don't care anymore and that's it" answerphone message the next day BEFORE any locksmithery/money nonsense happened. My brother officially left for uni last September, this was just dropping him off after he came home for the weekend.

I also think gift is a problematic word. Obviously I don't mean that she gift-wrapped my wedding dress and gave it to me as a literal present, but I do mean that she bought it for me without the intention of having it back or ever being paid for it. Funnily enough the research I did today came up with the same info- that the onus is on her to prove that she always wanted to be paid for the dress (et al) rather than the onus being on me to prove that she never wanted to be paid for it until we fell out. However it won't hurt to have the transactions to hand should this go further I'm guessing...whilst it's not a video recording of her handing me the goods saying "here you go, I've bought these for you and I don't want to be paid back", it does go some way towards showing that SHE purchased the items as opposed to me just taking the money and spending it myself.

What a headache!

[MissFM]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

I'm so not giving either you or Cloggy my home address :scared: :scared:

arty:arty:arty:

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

I do know how it could be done. If a key is still in a mortice lock, it may be possible to use a hooked torsion bar to force the key round to unlock the door; if that fails, then the solution is to push the key round until it can be wriggled out of the lock, which can then be picked in the usual way.

.....and if it was a Yale a credit card works wonders..

I'm so not giving either you or Cloggy my home address :scared: :scared:

[MissFM]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Re-reading this thread, there is another thing that "screams" misunderstanding to me:

as your brother clearly has his own transport, your Mum may well have driven off thinking you wanted to spend time with him and that he would bring you back the next day. She may also have been overcome with emotion on seeing her chick leaving home.

No evil intention - just crossed wires.

Then - misunderstanding compounded - you break into the house, send back some of the money....etc., etc..

Do you see what I mean? x

[MissFM]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

That really ought not to have been necessary, but that's what some so-called locksmiths do - they stretch a simple five or ten minute job to an hour or more, plus materials / new locks.

.....and if it was a Yale a credit card works wonders..

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

The locksmith changed the lock to the front door as he broke it to get me in.

That really ought not to have been necessary, but that's what some so-called locksmiths do - they stretch a simple five or ten minute job to an hour or more, plus materials / new locks.

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

What your mother would need to prove to the judge is that the money she placed in your account was a loan rather than a gift which she did not expect to be paid back. Or she would have to prove it was only placed in your account for safe-keeping. The onus is on her to prove everything she claims

I've fixed your post for you.

If mumsy were to get judgement in her favour, could it be enforced if the defendant was already in the American colonies?

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

The £6000 was the bit I was nervous about as that would have been harder to prove that she had spent it as we sometimes just withdrew it in cash.

. . . . .If she does make a money claim for these amounts, how long do they take to come through usually, from filing to arrival at the defendant's door?

What your mother would need to prove to the judge is that the money she placed in your account was a gift not a loan which she expected to be paid back. Or she would have to prove it was only placed in your account for safe-keeping. The onus is on her to prove everything she claims

Here's an example of how the 'gift vs. loan' argument works. You need to start to lay a paper trail now with letters not phone calls. You need to somehow get it in writing from her that those goodies were gifts:

http://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/e...-000-loan.html

Once she enters a claim online it takes two to three days to arrive according to your postman's workload. You then get 14 days to acknowledge you've received it and intend to defend. You then get another 14 days to file your defence. Once that happens the court will inform the claimant (your mother) that you intend to defend. The court will offer you mediation at this stage. I would advise you to accept that offer of mediation.

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

receipts on their own doesn't prove that things are gifts . . .

. . . . . ie, bought by her, given to me = gifts). Or am I wrong there?

Not necessarily unless they were gift-wrapped with a gift card or a letter saying "with love from me to you". You could have been busy at work so asked her to do the shopping for you. The fact that you had joint use of an account suggests you were both happy to see each others transactions. This is turns means you would see exactly what she paid for these so-called "gifts". Most gift-givers prefer to be discreet about these things.