Threat of a Money Claim

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

the dreaded letter backlash has happened.Just on break and found 4 missed calls and 4 answerphone messages on my phone.

Yep, that sounds exactly like me. I've been known to hit the redial button 40 times to no avail. My daughter usually waits until I've run out of steam before she replies. I always do run out of steam eventually.

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

The locksmith changed the lock to the front door as he broke it to get me in. The back door lock remains untouched.Having receipts on their own doesn't prove that things are gifts, however I think I mentioned somewhere that my credit card company have been able to tell which card (mine or my mum's) a transaction was made on when I've phoned up for other things in the past, so they would hopefully be able to send me a print out of the transactions made on her card (ie, bought by her, given to me = gifts). Or am I wrong there?

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

So..did the locksmith change the lock or just get you into the house ??
How does having receipts prove things are gifts?

Hopefully ,your Mum making contact with you may open a dialogue up and you can 'meet in the middle' as it were. I do hope so because so many people live with regrets when relationships break down

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Well, the dreaded letter backlash has happened.Just on break and found 4 missed calls and 4 answerphone messages on my phone. These vary from "I want that ticket you bought for me" to "You owe me for this this and this" but no mention whatsoever of the 'missing' £6000. She obviously realised that she'd spent it.To be honest, after that I feel more confident with the whole thing. The £6000 was the bit I was nervous about as that would have been harder to prove that she had spent it as we sometimes just withdrew it in cash. I think that the other things she wants paying for (dress, car deposit etc) will be easy to prove as gifts as I have a receipt and/or credit/bank statement as proof. Very very very glad that I sent that letter.If she does make a money claim for these amounts, how long do they take to come through usually, from filing to arrival at the defendant's door? The research I've done shows it as a long, drawn-out process.No idea why but the formatting keeps getting lost when I post. Sorry if this is hard to read without paragraphs!

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Thanks for that

Clogs,,,my front door is of the type if there is a key in the lock on the inside (and the door is locked) I can't get in cos my key won't go in on the outside. and that's the sum total of my knowledge of locks :rofl:

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

I don't think 'she would have had to get a locksmith anyway' is a viable standpoint/argument...the fact is you got the locks changed on HER house without HER consent

That was your assumption of what happened; for all we knew, the locksmith might have been competent and able to open locks non-destructively.

Apparently though, he wasn't sufficiently skilful to do that - or he just wanted more money so he wrecked the lock.

I'm neither a locksmith nor a burglar, but I do know how it could be done. If a key is still in a mortice lock, it may be possible to use a hooked torsion bar to force the key round to unlock the door; if that fails, then the solution is to push the key round until it can be wriggled out of the lock, which can then be picked in the usual way.

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

I wasn't using "she would have had to have called out a locksmith anyway" as a defence. Just to explain the situation better as I wasn't clear about the fact that the keys were actually in the locks as opposed to just inside the house. Also, pure semantics but it was just the one lock that was changed to allow me to get in. The other lock (back door) wasn't touched.What anomalies have you found? I haven't always been very clear in this thread, I do apologise.No, my family is not of a certain 'culture'.

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Hiya...me again
I don't think 'she would have had to get a locksmith anyway' is a viable standpoint/argument...the fact is you got the locks changed on HER house without HER consent and tbh I would be furious too,that situation altho purely academic now,was handled very badly.
There's quite a few anomalies in the whole saga...and some bits that don't quite make sense but it's your issue and you must explain it your way...I'm sure the whole picture will slot together.
I don't quite know how to put this without sounding offensive but it's bothering me so I will ask anyway....is your family of a certain 'culture'? I ask because different cultures uphold different beliefs/structures...(in my religion I've broken just about every rule in the book,,I daren't go to church incase a statue that has stood for 1000's of years falls on my head) lol.
And don't even get me started on 'family' divides....mines a class all of it's own :faint:

[MissFM]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

I wish we could all see into the future, Powerchord, not just on a personal level but also on how our roles change (eg from daughter, to mother, to grandmother etc). I promise you that your Mum will be burning with every possible emotion with hopes for your happiness hidden at the center, however it may seem from the outside (or even to her).

This really needs to be repaired, doesn't it? x

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

At the moment (things may well change, as you've both said) I don't think she'd be caught dead at my wedding now.

Save her a seat just in case

That's probably the reason why my daughter says she wants to get married on a beach in Bali because:

(a) she knows I can't afford the flight

(b) she knows I can't stand the heat

and
(c) she knows that's where I went on my honeymoon and the marriage went downhill all the way after that :argue:

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Wide words PlanB, thank you

MissFM- she was! At the moment (things may well change, as you've both said) I don't think she'd be caught dead at my wedding now.

[MissFM]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Is your Mum going to your wedding?

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

PlanB, that's a very good point about death being harder to argue about, I hadn't thought about it that way.

. . . . This is a horrible mess

You know what? I personally don't think this situation has anything to do with money. I'm no therapist (albeit I love Oprah Winfrey ) and yes this is a mess right now, but I don't see it as an incurable mess. I won't bore you with my family shenanigans but they're not that different. Me and my siblings have been at war (verbally and emotionally) for decades. If I'm honest we probably quite enjoy the back-stabbing etc because life would be boring without it

I have to go now but I'll be back tomorrow. Take Care.

Plan B x

[MissFM]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Powerchord this all sounds so horrid. Even though your Mum may be a drama queen :drama: it doesn't mean that she doesn't love you very dearly - trust me on this. xx

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

PlanB, that's a very good point about death being harder to argue about, I hadn't thought about it that way.

The timeline is I got engaged in May. My mum did have a weird reaction to that actually. My brother moved to university in the September. There was a bit of a fall out there with her being angry about his girlfriend staying up there but that was sorted after a few weeks. The wedding was booked for August 8th but is now probably going to be sooner. The wedding is in the US due to visa reasons. I was going to leave for the US at the end of July but again, this will probably be brought forward now. Have been living with my aunty since last Sunday night when all this started. I don't think my mum would see her as a threat, I'm here because of what she did rather than choice. Hopefully my mum understands that. If I had a choice everything would be back to normal.

MissFM, my aunty is furious with my mother. As are my uncle and my cousins. My aunty is her sister so it hasn't exactly been easy for her either. She sent my mum a text on the Tuesday saying "hope you don't mind her staying with me, can hardly let her stay on the streets" and my mum sent back something insulting. My aunty told my nan about all this which I'm a bit cross about as she has enough to deal with, with my granddad being ill. They're both really angry with my mum too now. This is a horrible mess