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Our daughter has a child aged 8. Her father has never seen her as he left when our daughter was pregnant. He does pay to maintain her.
She lived in an apartment and met someone else six years ago. They decided to buy a property together two years ago.
The property was £150,000. We helped her out by paying her half £75,000. He put a deposit down of £10,000 and the rest was joint named mortgage. They bought it Tenants in Common. The solicitor registered a Deed of Trust to that effect.
He has always been very uncommunicative, strangely so. Very cutting with clever remarks. We didn't like him. A few months into the relationship, she found he was using dating sites, online. There was a big row and he promised not to do it again and they came to terms with it.
He has upset so many of our daughters friends, you wouldn't believe it. He doesn't care either.
This year's holiday abroad they took with her friends. They also have an eight year old daughter. Our daughter contacted me to say that he partner had been awful to her friend and also been awful to their child. Our granddaughter was badly affected by this. She couldn't understand it.
When they returned from that holiday, He did not speak to our daughter. He went out at strange times even going out late at night. No explanation. We had to go to a family Wedding and he reluctantly took us. It was awful, he didn't speak other than to tell a close family member that he was pleased that he worked nights so that he didn't have to spend time with "Her". It was most awkward.
After that our daughter told us that they couldn't carry on that way. It wasn't good for the child. After a lot of talking she decided to try to get to the bottom of his personality problem. He said it was things that had happened in his past that made him how he was and the fact that he did not know who his father was. The man that brought him up, he was told by his mother, was not his actual father.
Other things came to light. His mother, he says, was pregnant when she met the man she married. She married him before the baby was born. I have seen a picture of this man and he looks just like my daughters ex partner!!!! This man went on to have an affair with another woman who had his child, a boy. His wife divorced him but later remarried him. During this time, they had a daughter, together I presume. He has tried to kill himself twice over these recent years. He has contact with this son from his mistress but his wife and other children do not speak to him.
Anyway, Daughters ex said that all this had affected him. She said he needed to seek professional help. He said he wouldn't. After a couple more weeks he decided that he would seek help, but never actually did. They were trying to make a go of it but he was just the same.
One morning a woman came to the door. My daughter answered it. This woman said she wanted to speak to 'him'. She would not leave until she had. He had been working nights and was in bed but our daughter went to get him up. She knew that was something awful happening.
He got up and the woman said to our daughter that 'Did she know that he had been cheating on her' All Summer he had been living a double life. He told the woman that he had finished with our daughter. He knew her, she was a friend of his family. His family were in on it too. This woman had two boys and had recently split from their father. As soon as she had a place of her own that is when our daughters ex had moved in on her. He was showering her with gifts and giving the boys allsorts of things. He was almost living there. She then found out that some money was missing, twice it happened. It was money her ex had given her for his boys. He admitted taking it £140 in all. She split up with him. One day she decided to go and tell him that her ex was after him for the money. She did not know where he lived but had a round about idea. She saw his car in the drive. She was surprised to see our daughter there. She said that she honestly believed that they had split up as that was what he said. She said she had dumped him now. There was a big row. Not between the women, but between our daughter and ex partner. She told him to go.
He went but was sending flowers, takeaways, messages to her all the time. She kept telling him it was over and to stop contacting her, sending things. He started putting Childrens DVD's through the door with notes for our little granddaughter. She was upset saying to her mummy why can't he come back, she loved him, he was like her daddy. She thought her mummy was being mean.
He actually sent me a message saying he knew it was all his fault and that he had made a big mistake.
He finally got the message that it was over, she had to block him from her phone. This is when it all hit the fan.
He told her that he knew she had swapped the locks in the house (exchanged front door to back door as he only had a front door key, the alarm was at the front and sash jammers on back door.) He said she had to leave the locks off for him as he was coming back to live there today. She is working today and her daughter is at school. He said she has to put the house up for sale. It is such a lovely home, furnished with all her things as she has lived in apartments for many years before she had a child.
The worry is that today he will be there when she returns from work.
Due to the fact we gave her money for her half of the house, she would not be eligible for help towards help for rent. The only option is for us to help her out with a mortgage as she doesn't earn enough. All this is heartbreaking. She has got an appointment with a solicitor for 4th Jan, she has told the bank where they got the mortgage from.
Any advice would be welcomed.
She lived in an apartment and met someone else six years ago. They decided to buy a property together two years ago.
The property was £150,000. We helped her out by paying her half £75,000. He put a deposit down of £10,000 and the rest was joint named mortgage. They bought it Tenants in Common. The solicitor registered a Deed of Trust to that effect.
He has always been very uncommunicative, strangely so. Very cutting with clever remarks. We didn't like him. A few months into the relationship, she found he was using dating sites, online. There was a big row and he promised not to do it again and they came to terms with it.
He has upset so many of our daughters friends, you wouldn't believe it. He doesn't care either.
This year's holiday abroad they took with her friends. They also have an eight year old daughter. Our daughter contacted me to say that he partner had been awful to her friend and also been awful to their child. Our granddaughter was badly affected by this. She couldn't understand it.
When they returned from that holiday, He did not speak to our daughter. He went out at strange times even going out late at night. No explanation. We had to go to a family Wedding and he reluctantly took us. It was awful, he didn't speak other than to tell a close family member that he was pleased that he worked nights so that he didn't have to spend time with "Her". It was most awkward.
After that our daughter told us that they couldn't carry on that way. It wasn't good for the child. After a lot of talking she decided to try to get to the bottom of his personality problem. He said it was things that had happened in his past that made him how he was and the fact that he did not know who his father was. The man that brought him up, he was told by his mother, was not his actual father.
Other things came to light. His mother, he says, was pregnant when she met the man she married. She married him before the baby was born. I have seen a picture of this man and he looks just like my daughters ex partner!!!! This man went on to have an affair with another woman who had his child, a boy. His wife divorced him but later remarried him. During this time, they had a daughter, together I presume. He has tried to kill himself twice over these recent years. He has contact with this son from his mistress but his wife and other children do not speak to him.
Anyway, Daughters ex said that all this had affected him. She said he needed to seek professional help. He said he wouldn't. After a couple more weeks he decided that he would seek help, but never actually did. They were trying to make a go of it but he was just the same.
One morning a woman came to the door. My daughter answered it. This woman said she wanted to speak to 'him'. She would not leave until she had. He had been working nights and was in bed but our daughter went to get him up. She knew that was something awful happening.
He got up and the woman said to our daughter that 'Did she know that he had been cheating on her' All Summer he had been living a double life. He told the woman that he had finished with our daughter. He knew her, she was a friend of his family. His family were in on it too. This woman had two boys and had recently split from their father. As soon as she had a place of her own that is when our daughters ex had moved in on her. He was showering her with gifts and giving the boys allsorts of things. He was almost living there. She then found out that some money was missing, twice it happened. It was money her ex had given her for his boys. He admitted taking it £140 in all. She split up with him. One day she decided to go and tell him that her ex was after him for the money. She did not know where he lived but had a round about idea. She saw his car in the drive. She was surprised to see our daughter there. She said that she honestly believed that they had split up as that was what he said. She said she had dumped him now. There was a big row. Not between the women, but between our daughter and ex partner. She told him to go.
He went but was sending flowers, takeaways, messages to her all the time. She kept telling him it was over and to stop contacting her, sending things. He started putting Childrens DVD's through the door with notes for our little granddaughter. She was upset saying to her mummy why can't he come back, she loved him, he was like her daddy. She thought her mummy was being mean.
He actually sent me a message saying he knew it was all his fault and that he had made a big mistake.
He finally got the message that it was over, she had to block him from her phone. This is when it all hit the fan.
He told her that he knew she had swapped the locks in the house (exchanged front door to back door as he only had a front door key, the alarm was at the front and sash jammers on back door.) He said she had to leave the locks off for him as he was coming back to live there today. She is working today and her daughter is at school. He said she has to put the house up for sale. It is such a lovely home, furnished with all her things as she has lived in apartments for many years before she had a child.
The worry is that today he will be there when she returns from work.
Due to the fact we gave her money for her half of the house, she would not be eligible for help towards help for rent. The only option is for us to help her out with a mortgage as she doesn't earn enough. All this is heartbreaking. She has got an appointment with a solicitor for 4th Jan, she has told the bank where they got the mortgage from.
Any advice would be welcomed.
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