Tweet
When you first become a parent, you are told of the great love that will instantly radiate to your newborn, of the sheer undying love and adoration you will feel when this tiny form is put in to your arms.
What they DONT warn you about is :
1: Boys have a lovely habit of finding the highest point in the room and sitting ( or hanging upside down) scaring the bejesus out of you when you walk in to the room and find them there!
2: If you have more than 1 child, world war 3 can reign and the words I HATE YOU can echo round the room, but if an outsider attempts to join in, or one gets hurt, and it's like a scene from Braveheart when the clans gather!!
3: No matter how often they refuse point blank to eat a certain food, send them to a friend or relatives house and they will become a human dustbin!
4: You see insanity, other's see cute imagination!!
5: Silence is golden, unless you have a toddler then it' worrying!
6: By the time your son is 8, he will have a seat in the A&E with his name on it, especially if he likes football!!
7: There will be times you wonder if your children have Kangaroo in their genetic make up!
8: One moment you will be sitting happily listening to the radio, the next you will be a jungle gym, a referee and a spring board all at the same time, and possibly if you have more than one child, from mulitple directions!!!
9: If a child is clean after 10am, they are ill!!
10: When your child is asleep, 50% of your brain will be thinking how long have I got to clear up before round 2, the other 50% will be wondering "How are they comfortable in that position?"
11: Farting, burping, toilets and bad smells become hillarious, and visitors will be regaled by tales of farts in class and the fact that "I just had a wee!!"
This is normally just the person you DIDN'T want them to do it in front of!
12: Once you have a 3 year old, you will never again need a dictaphone!!
13: When asked what occupation they want, Labrador is an acceptable answer from a 4 year old!
14: The funniest words in the English Language are Fart, poo, toilet, bogies and BUM!
15: Some one without kids will laugh at this because they don't have to worry about this, a parent will laugh because they have already done it... and a grandparent will laugh hardest as they can give em back!
What they DONT warn you about is :
1: Boys have a lovely habit of finding the highest point in the room and sitting ( or hanging upside down) scaring the bejesus out of you when you walk in to the room and find them there!
2: If you have more than 1 child, world war 3 can reign and the words I HATE YOU can echo round the room, but if an outsider attempts to join in, or one gets hurt, and it's like a scene from Braveheart when the clans gather!!
3: No matter how often they refuse point blank to eat a certain food, send them to a friend or relatives house and they will become a human dustbin!
4: You see insanity, other's see cute imagination!!
5: Silence is golden, unless you have a toddler then it' worrying!
6: By the time your son is 8, he will have a seat in the A&E with his name on it, especially if he likes football!!
7: There will be times you wonder if your children have Kangaroo in their genetic make up!
8: One moment you will be sitting happily listening to the radio, the next you will be a jungle gym, a referee and a spring board all at the same time, and possibly if you have more than one child, from mulitple directions!!!
9: If a child is clean after 10am, they are ill!!
10: When your child is asleep, 50% of your brain will be thinking how long have I got to clear up before round 2, the other 50% will be wondering "How are they comfortable in that position?"
11: Farting, burping, toilets and bad smells become hillarious, and visitors will be regaled by tales of farts in class and the fact that "I just had a wee!!"
This is normally just the person you DIDN'T want them to do it in front of!
12: Once you have a 3 year old, you will never again need a dictaphone!!
13: When asked what occupation they want, Labrador is an acceptable answer from a 4 year old!
14: The funniest words in the English Language are Fart, poo, toilet, bogies and BUM!
15: Some one without kids will laugh at this because they don't have to worry about this, a parent will laugh because they have already done it... and a grandparent will laugh hardest as they can give em back!
msl:
Comment