Where there's a Will.........there are potential problems

[Inca]

Re: Where there's a Will.........there are potential problems

Ohhhh hun, I am so sorry to hear that. Thinking of you and your family at this time. <<<<HUGS>>>> xxx

Thanks hun,,,knew it was coming but was a lot quicker than expected.

[Turboman]

Re: Where there's a Will.........there are potential problems

Hi Inca ..sorry to hear re your loss ..keep strong

Turbs x

[Nic]

Re: Where there's a Will.........there are potential problems

Thoughts with you inca

[Budgie]

Re: Where there's a Will.........there are potential problems

So sorry to learn of your loss this morning Inca.
My thoughts are with you, it sounds as though people are rallying around to help each other which is terrific and you should all take some time out to try and come to terms with events of the last few days.

I notice that you have secured your OH's Dad's property, collected keys from neighbours and changed the alarm code etc.
However, I just wanted to make sure that you have at least collected anything obviously valuable from the property. Dad's Will for example and any bank account stuff such as cheque books and cards, any share certificates, life insurance policies, building society books, premium bonds, savings certificates. If my own experiences are anything to go by then finding this stuff is likely to be a nightmare but at least try to grab anything that is plainly of some importance or value and keep with you. Also do not allow anyone access to the property without at least one of the Executors being in attendance.
Because there is likely to be a lot of cash involved I also think you should, at the earliest opportunity contact Dad's Bank(s) and inform them of his passing and request that they immediately freeze the bank accounts, most banks will do this as a matter of course anyway. Check to see that there haven't been any recent unexplained cash withdrawls or payments made that you were not already aware of.
I am also a bit concerned regarding your comment about Dad's Solicitor hassling you, is there something else that's been going on in the background regarding the Solicitor?
Am also concerned about Dad's Mother's missing jewellery and antiques that you referred to in your original post.
The fact that Mum in Laws will was not lodged with a Solicitor and disappeared is also of concern.
I know it's a very difficult time but it sounds to me as though there is a bit more going on behind the scenes here than meets the eye.
You said in your original post that you were surprised to find out that you are an Executor to Dad's will. Who are the other Executor's? Have they all been informed and are they all people in whom you have 100% confidence?

Sorry, if I am appearing a little paranoid but I have read and re-read your posts a few times and just have a slightly uneasy feeling.

Budgie

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Where there's a Will.........there are potential problems

Inca,
im here for you as always, im so so sorry I for your troubles, wish I could do more but this is all I have at the moment :hug:
Take a moment for you, shout out if need to talk.
Loves ya lots
P

[Ladidi]

Re: Where there's a Will.........there are potential problems

Hi Inca,

So sorry to hear of your OH father's passing away My thoughts are with you all at this sad time, whatever your doing, do it one step at a time and dont be rushed into anything. Take care

Ladidi

[dogtired]

Re: Where there's a Will.........there are potential problems

"hugs"

[Inca]

Re: Where there's a Will.........there are potential problems

Budgie,,Thankyou SO much for your post,,I had done quite a bit re banks,but some points you kindly made are so glaringly obvious yet I missed them..Foggy brain..the Solicitor is NOT the other Executor (as he led me to believe,but says I made the wrong assumption).Dads bank manager has been to see us this morning,,so kind of him (27 miles) Jewellery and mini safe with all documents are here now,,my sister went with OH to lock down the house.My house now looks like a warehouse but thats ok,,I need to know things are safe.I know the other Executor,,he is a lovely man and i trust him....so Thankyou so so much xx

[Budgie]

Re: Where there's a Will.........there are potential problems

Excellent Inca, well done, it sounds like your OH's Dad made a wise choice with his Executors, including you.
Now that everything is safely under control you need to switch off and have some time just to yourselves.
The next few days and weeks are going to be stressful and busy enough with all the necessary arrangements.

It sounds like Dad's Bank Manager is pretty switched on and you will probably be able to call on him for help and advice which is great.
As far as financial affairs are concerned I recommend forgetting about doing anything until after the funeral has taken place.
The next few days and weeks are going to be stressful and busy enough with all the necessary arrangements.

Because of the timings of passings over the past few years I suspect that Dad's estate is likely to be considerable and there will be inheritance tax implications.
Most people tend to shy away from handling simple probate applications let alone attempting to deal with a sizeable estate and inheritance tax returns etc and they employ a Solicitor to do everything for them.
Don't be forced into making a quick decision about this.
Speaking from personal experience having had to do a few such exercises over the past few years it isn't so difficult that you cannot do it yourselves.
I found it extremely satisfying and it helped me to come to terms with the loss of my loved ones on each occasion.
Solicitors tend to charge an awful lot of money for carrying out this sort of work and de-personalise everything.
However, as I said above there is no need to make a quick decision so do not let anyone bully you into anything.

There are many people on this forum who will be around to assist you in anyway they can, me included.

Stay strong and take care of yourselves.

Budgie

[Bill-K]

Re: Where there's a Will.........there are potential problems

Hi Inca, I've just arrived, so please accept my belated condolences. Your family will need each other, and there will be many things to attend to - both practical and spiritual. As Budgie has so ably demonstrated, some of us can help with the practicalities. Maybe some of us can help with other things, so please do ask.

[Inca]

Re: Where there's a Will.........there are potential problems

You are all so sweet and kind,I've only known you for a matter of weeks and you have all made such a difference to me,(I won't let a bailiff in any more )...I knew the ole bugger would have the last laugh,,he wants 'The Old Rugged Cross' Every verse,every chorus !!! He even left a CD with him playing on his church organ (no,,really..NOT THAT ORGAN) !!,,methinks t'is gonna be a loooooooooong service

[Budgie]

Re: Where there's a Will.........there are potential problems

Excellent !!!

Here's the lyrics so you can start practising.


1. On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,
the emblem of suffering and shame;
and I love that old cross where the dearest and best
for a world of lost sinners was slain.

Refrain: So I'll cherish the old rugged cross,
till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
and exchange it some day for a crown.

2. O that old rugged cross, so despised by the world,
has a wondrous attraction for me;
for the dear Lamb of God left his glory above
to bear it to dark Calvary.
(Refrain)

3. In that old rugged cross,
stained with blood so divine,
a wondrous beauty I see,
for 'twas on that old cross Jesus suffered and died,
to pardon and sanctify me.
(Refrain)

4. To that old rugged cross I will ever be true,
its shame and reproach gladly bear;
then he'll call me some day to my home far away,
where his glory forever I'll share.
(Refrain)

Repeat as required !!!!!!!

[Inca]

Re: Where there's a Will.........there are potential problems

Budgie,,if you heard me sing you would pray for tinnitus,,it aint pretty,,and 99 verses of that won't make it any better,,My Mum had that one too,,I remember the pain

[Budgie]

Re: Where there's a Will.........there are potential problems

You go ahead and sing all you like Inca, I can't hear you from here !!!!!

[Budgie]

Re: Where there's a Will.........there are potential problems

My Father died in 2009 and the evening before he died was very strange.
He was sitting up in his bed at home entertaining some very close family friends, he had Leukaemia, knew he didn't have very much time left to him and had taken it upon himself to plan the food menu for his wake.
Now, this might appear to be a little morbid and unusual thing to do but let me tell you it was one of the funniest half an hour conversations that I have ever been involved in.
I have that image firmly fixed in my head and it always makes me grin when I remember my Father smiling away like a mischievous child despite the awful ordeal he had been going through.
My Father was very fond of his food and had some rather unusual tastes.
Anyway, he died the next day and the funeral took place a couple of weeks later.
The family had organised the wake but we honestly hadn't paid very much attention to the culinary list that had been discussed on that final evening and had gone for a more sensible, traditional menu.
However, a couple of minutes after we had invited the guests to help themselves to the buffet, my Father's very dear friend, who had been present on that final evening, appeared in the room.
In his hands he was holding a large bucket of shell on prawns and a plateful of cooked and buttered broad beans, two of the least unusual items that my Father had requested.
Most people in attendance had been made aware of the unusual last request and there was much laughter over the whole situation.

This was therefore a case of my Father creating a last laugh as well as having it and it sounds like that will probably be the case for your Father in Laws funeral as well.
He sounds like a bit of a character!