Tweet
I am considering contesting my late father’s will on the grounds of undue influence from my sister and would appreciate any advice.
I currently receive Universal Credit Self-employment support and am classed as Limited Capability for Work. I am about to embark on the process of setting up a Community Interest Company and whilst I do not currently have the funds to do this, I do expect to be growing my income over the next few months so have to make a decision as to whether I have enough grounds and whether it is worth following up as I do feel it is something I should do. From initial enquiries it looks like I’d have to pay £750 just for a solicitor to have initial look at the situation, so I’m hoping to gain some more insight beforehand.
I was always promised half the house, however, his will was changed and now it states £30k to myself, £50k to my sister’s son / my nephew, £20k to my mother / his ex-wife, and the remainder to be put into a trust for my sister. I would hope this could be resolved with mediation - I have tried communicating with my sister, however, she did not answer when I asked about the change and whether I would be receiving anything from the proceeds of the sale of the house.
Last year, aged 50, I was diagnosed autistic and adhd, following my adhd diagnosis in 2019, and am currently in the process of further diagnosis for various comorbidities. When I was diagnosed adhd in 2019 I started on adhd medication which changed my life for the better and I started to rebuild things from scratch yet again. I had returned to stay at my father’s in 2016 to keep costs down between contracts, however, didn’t realise how ill I was and in 2017 I had a severe vitamin B12 deficiency where I couldn’t stand up or think straight. Through my recovery from that I discovered my adhd and at the time had no idea I was also autistic, however, now I look back I have no idea how I survived half a century without knowing. It was also obvious to me my father was autistic (for example “feeling up” the curtain by his chair - sensory stuff!), and my mother’s and sister’s neurodivergencies too - but they refuse to acknowledge and instead continue to scapegoat me.
As my health improved and I was planning to move out, the CV thing happened and I was stuck. At the time his partner was also living there. I kept myself to myself - he used to take the mick out of me eating salads so I generally kept out of the way as I appreciated the support given at the time I had zero idea why everything I tried didn’t seem to work. I didn’t realise at the time the daily verbal abuse I had about how cr*p I was and what would I do without him around to fund me also took its toll, even though I’ve achieved a lot I’m proud of in my life - but I did that away from what I thought was “home”. I also didn’t know about things like narcissism at the time.
My father then became ill after the jibby-jab thing, had sepsis, his partner passed away, and I ended up caring for him full-time. He had agreed to lend me money to move out, but after this I agreed to stay to look after him and used the money to replace my decade old laptop and buy an electric bike so I could get out for longer rides so wasn’t there all the time. I’d learned a lot in my recovery about healthy food and supplements, and I said I could help him with my knowledge but obviously it would cost more for healthy food and supplements for him. Everyone who saw him said how much better he was looking after just a few weeks. We discussed him moving to supported living and as he lived near a popular hospital I suggested he invested in doing the house up and renting it out so he could afford it.
He eventually decided he didn’t want to move, I said I couldn’t stay forever and he said he’d arrange for home help.
For months I had been in control of the finances, organising all the shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. and he had continued to put money into the account he had given me access to solely for this purpose, I had no access to his other funds. He transferred some to help me move, however, the week before the rental agreement started for my new place and the day I was supposed to be going out for a leaving meal with a couple of friends so my sister had come round to pick him up to look after him for a week (first time she’d done any of this and I still had to prep a week’s worth of meals for him!), literally out of the blue the police arrived and I discovered he’d accused me of fraud, and all the money including that for all the food, supplements, even his blood pressure tester, and the bike which I’d had for months, he didn’t apparently know anything about. By then he wasn’t able to drive so my sister must’ve organised all this.
I ended up being locked in a police cell and chucked out on the street at 2am. Luckily my new place let me move in a week early and I started my life, yet again, from scratch. I was given a small window of a few hours to collect my belongings last year, however, when I returned, 99% of my belongings had gone.
I only discovered his death because I had set up access to his online medical records, however, this is also how I saw the following set of events which I believe provides possible evidence of undue influence. The accusations of fraud were dropped in June of 2022 because there was zero evidence. I don’t know what went on, personally I don’t know why they wouldn’t have approached me first before calling the police, which makes me even more suspicious but I can’t prove anything I guess.
19-Sep-23 Grant of Probate issued, £380k gross/£387k net
24-Feb-22 Will changed - sister must’ve driven him there
25-Jan-22 Police turned up & I was arrested, released later that night, accusations dropped June-22 due to zero evidence
From medical records I have screenshots of:
27-Nov-22: My father passed away aged 85, previously of fairly good health
24-Nov-22: Last entry in online medical records, for hospital referral, BP 160/110
15-Nov-22: CV booster administered, must’ve been driven there by my sister
10-Nov-22: Influenza 3rd SMS msg, declined
7-Nov-22: CV booster declined by him from SMS
So, despite knowing in full about the money we were spending on his recovery and helping me, which he physically put into the account multiple times, suddenly this changes, he doesn’t know anything, I’m falsely accused, will is changed, then a few months later after repeatedly declining “medical interventions” he’s driven down to his death.
I did consider the 1975 support act as he had been supporting me and at the time I didn’t know my diagnosis, however, I realise the timeline issue as it’s gone 6 months since grant of probate.
I am considering it now as the house has been on the market for £325k but suddenly disappeared the other day. I emailed the solicitors and they said they were going to try a different estate agent, however, it’s probably just too highly priced for the condition. I am sad he didn’t listen to my advice about doing it up - I just got shouted at by my sister who said it was up to him, but then with Zoopla valuing it at £383k they’re losing out more than I was accused of plus what it would’ve cost to do up a bit. With everyone searching online I don’t see how a change of estate agent will change much. The solicitor also told me not to expect responses from them from my emails as they didn’t want to “add costs”. I was tempted to reply to them remarking on costs for what, but managed to refrain myself. They are the executioners, but don’t seem to be executing much apart from the presumable costs and deterioration of the property.
Anyway, I know these situations are not simple, and it’s not that big of an estate in terms of taking it to court, but I do feel there’s more going on here and I feel I deserve what I was always promised by him even in conversations right up until things turned nasty.
I am not sure how editing works on these forums but I will probably need to remove this post at some point as it’s pretty detailed even though names aren’t mentioned, I hope that’s not against the way things are done and feel free to advise accordingly.
Thanks in advance
I currently receive Universal Credit Self-employment support and am classed as Limited Capability for Work. I am about to embark on the process of setting up a Community Interest Company and whilst I do not currently have the funds to do this, I do expect to be growing my income over the next few months so have to make a decision as to whether I have enough grounds and whether it is worth following up as I do feel it is something I should do. From initial enquiries it looks like I’d have to pay £750 just for a solicitor to have initial look at the situation, so I’m hoping to gain some more insight beforehand.
I was always promised half the house, however, his will was changed and now it states £30k to myself, £50k to my sister’s son / my nephew, £20k to my mother / his ex-wife, and the remainder to be put into a trust for my sister. I would hope this could be resolved with mediation - I have tried communicating with my sister, however, she did not answer when I asked about the change and whether I would be receiving anything from the proceeds of the sale of the house.
Last year, aged 50, I was diagnosed autistic and adhd, following my adhd diagnosis in 2019, and am currently in the process of further diagnosis for various comorbidities. When I was diagnosed adhd in 2019 I started on adhd medication which changed my life for the better and I started to rebuild things from scratch yet again. I had returned to stay at my father’s in 2016 to keep costs down between contracts, however, didn’t realise how ill I was and in 2017 I had a severe vitamin B12 deficiency where I couldn’t stand up or think straight. Through my recovery from that I discovered my adhd and at the time had no idea I was also autistic, however, now I look back I have no idea how I survived half a century without knowing. It was also obvious to me my father was autistic (for example “feeling up” the curtain by his chair - sensory stuff!), and my mother’s and sister’s neurodivergencies too - but they refuse to acknowledge and instead continue to scapegoat me.
As my health improved and I was planning to move out, the CV thing happened and I was stuck. At the time his partner was also living there. I kept myself to myself - he used to take the mick out of me eating salads so I generally kept out of the way as I appreciated the support given at the time I had zero idea why everything I tried didn’t seem to work. I didn’t realise at the time the daily verbal abuse I had about how cr*p I was and what would I do without him around to fund me also took its toll, even though I’ve achieved a lot I’m proud of in my life - but I did that away from what I thought was “home”. I also didn’t know about things like narcissism at the time.
My father then became ill after the jibby-jab thing, had sepsis, his partner passed away, and I ended up caring for him full-time. He had agreed to lend me money to move out, but after this I agreed to stay to look after him and used the money to replace my decade old laptop and buy an electric bike so I could get out for longer rides so wasn’t there all the time. I’d learned a lot in my recovery about healthy food and supplements, and I said I could help him with my knowledge but obviously it would cost more for healthy food and supplements for him. Everyone who saw him said how much better he was looking after just a few weeks. We discussed him moving to supported living and as he lived near a popular hospital I suggested he invested in doing the house up and renting it out so he could afford it.
He eventually decided he didn’t want to move, I said I couldn’t stay forever and he said he’d arrange for home help.
For months I had been in control of the finances, organising all the shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. and he had continued to put money into the account he had given me access to solely for this purpose, I had no access to his other funds. He transferred some to help me move, however, the week before the rental agreement started for my new place and the day I was supposed to be going out for a leaving meal with a couple of friends so my sister had come round to pick him up to look after him for a week (first time she’d done any of this and I still had to prep a week’s worth of meals for him!), literally out of the blue the police arrived and I discovered he’d accused me of fraud, and all the money including that for all the food, supplements, even his blood pressure tester, and the bike which I’d had for months, he didn’t apparently know anything about. By then he wasn’t able to drive so my sister must’ve organised all this.
I ended up being locked in a police cell and chucked out on the street at 2am. Luckily my new place let me move in a week early and I started my life, yet again, from scratch. I was given a small window of a few hours to collect my belongings last year, however, when I returned, 99% of my belongings had gone.
I only discovered his death because I had set up access to his online medical records, however, this is also how I saw the following set of events which I believe provides possible evidence of undue influence. The accusations of fraud were dropped in June of 2022 because there was zero evidence. I don’t know what went on, personally I don’t know why they wouldn’t have approached me first before calling the police, which makes me even more suspicious but I can’t prove anything I guess.
19-Sep-23 Grant of Probate issued, £380k gross/£387k net
24-Feb-22 Will changed - sister must’ve driven him there
25-Jan-22 Police turned up & I was arrested, released later that night, accusations dropped June-22 due to zero evidence
From medical records I have screenshots of:
27-Nov-22: My father passed away aged 85, previously of fairly good health
24-Nov-22: Last entry in online medical records, for hospital referral, BP 160/110
15-Nov-22: CV booster administered, must’ve been driven there by my sister
10-Nov-22: Influenza 3rd SMS msg, declined
7-Nov-22: CV booster declined by him from SMS
So, despite knowing in full about the money we were spending on his recovery and helping me, which he physically put into the account multiple times, suddenly this changes, he doesn’t know anything, I’m falsely accused, will is changed, then a few months later after repeatedly declining “medical interventions” he’s driven down to his death.
I did consider the 1975 support act as he had been supporting me and at the time I didn’t know my diagnosis, however, I realise the timeline issue as it’s gone 6 months since grant of probate.
I am considering it now as the house has been on the market for £325k but suddenly disappeared the other day. I emailed the solicitors and they said they were going to try a different estate agent, however, it’s probably just too highly priced for the condition. I am sad he didn’t listen to my advice about doing it up - I just got shouted at by my sister who said it was up to him, but then with Zoopla valuing it at £383k they’re losing out more than I was accused of plus what it would’ve cost to do up a bit. With everyone searching online I don’t see how a change of estate agent will change much. The solicitor also told me not to expect responses from them from my emails as they didn’t want to “add costs”. I was tempted to reply to them remarking on costs for what, but managed to refrain myself. They are the executioners, but don’t seem to be executing much apart from the presumable costs and deterioration of the property.
Anyway, I know these situations are not simple, and it’s not that big of an estate in terms of taking it to court, but I do feel there’s more going on here and I feel I deserve what I was always promised by him even in conversations right up until things turned nasty.
I am not sure how editing works on these forums but I will probably need to remove this post at some point as it’s pretty detailed even though names aren’t mentioned, I hope that’s not against the way things are done and feel free to advise accordingly.
Thanks in advance
Comment