What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

[Guest]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

If I say things in a gentle voice, and more like requests on some of them, could I say things like the following, which I am desperate to say:

- You are not going to take my children away from me, even less hand them over to your boyfriend when you go to him. I am going to fight in court to the end. You are taking my kids away over my dead body.

"I am frightened of losing contact with our children, and being able to live with them. I certainly would not want to hand full custody of them to your boyfriend. I would want to fight for my children, should that become an issue. I don't feel I could ever part with them, or any part of their lives. I'm feeling helpless"

- You are wasting your time, trying to condition the girls so that you can take them away in a few months time.

"I am very worried you are trying to condition the girls so that you can take them away from me in a few months' time. I know this may be irrational, but I'm afraid because I know I've done things to alienate you. I don't want to lose them - or you"

- Please pack your things and get your boyfriend to come and collect you, then you can live happily ever after.

"I am finding it very difficult, almost unbearable to live like this. I'm very jealous and it's very difficult for me, right now. However, I hope it will all work it out, somehow" (you need to say the last bit, or something like it, or she'll see this as just blame, and it'll turn her off again).

- Be prepared to face the legal consequences in the forthcoming hearing with your lying.

"I don't want to go to court. Is there a better way we can resolve things?" (be prepared to listen, she may rage at you, or list things you've done she didn't like, at the time. Be prepared to let her let it all out, then give her time - which may be days - to process the fact that you've asked her for a better way forward. She will need time, so you won't likely get your answer straight away!).

Also, under the order, I presume I can go after the boyfriend (verbally) as he is not covered by it?

"Go after" - ? No.
I would not advise approaching him at all, since you're already under a non-molestation order.
Improve your record first, so you don't get into even more trouble. You're too emotional to deal with it correctly, at the moment. NOT a good idea - really, freddieD.

Thanks

Obviously, you need to put it your own way. My words are a bit more formal than yours, but I want to be respectful.
Also, you could check - are these the things you really mean, freddieD??
Like "I really love my children" or "over my dead body" - ?!!!

[gravytrain]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

Obviously, you need to put it your own way. My words are a bit more formal than yours, but I want to be respectful.
Also, you could check - are these the things you really mean, freddieD??
Like "I really love my children" or "over my dead body" - ?!!!

Hidden depths CP, Respect

[Guest]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

LOL! he he

I came back expecting to see something legal from you, GT.
Some about the Road Traffic Act, perhaps...
(that's mainly because most of what you lot talk about on here goes right over my head lol)
x

[CleverClogs]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

Obviously, you need to put it your own way. My words are a bit more formal than yours, but I want to be respectful.
Also, you could check - are these the things you really mean, freddieD??
Like "I really love my children" or "over my dead body" - ?!!!

You seem to have omitted:

"Here is a sharp knife. Please cut off my balls."

HTH.

[CleverClogs]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

Well, the wife will surely know what freddie is really like, so any touchy-feely "new man" stuff isn't likely to convince her unless her toy boy has proved to have less depth than a w**k stain. msl:

[jon1965]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

Maybe someone needs some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

[CleverClogs]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

Maybe someone needs some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

At least you didn't suggest the use of sounds...

(The lasses won't have the least idea of what we're in about !)

[Inca]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

The absolutely worst thing anyone can do is try and 'force' someone to stay with them.As much as it hurts,let her go..if she wants you and her previous life she'll come back,if not,it's off to the divorce courts.

[gravytrain]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

Very true and I am sure as in your other posts a reflection of you own personal experiences.

The OP however seems to be more concerned about his wife taking his kids and his home, and being left with nothing, sadly not an entirely unrealistic scenario.
Lets hope he goes somewhere where he can get helpful advice, so that all parties obtain a fair outcome.

[jon1965]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

I think he has had very helpful advice in that he has been told what he can not do, what he should not do and even how to try and approach the dreadful situation.
People are complex and there were some hints in the original post that he had been told to "man up" although that could be taken different ways as in be a man and accept it or be a man and fight for me
I think the honest approach is the best say how he feels but in a non threatening way, ay what scares him, what worries him.

Posts that just add to the argument do nothing to help

[PlanB]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

Very true and I am sure as in your other posts a reflection of you own personal experiences.

The OP however seems to be more concerned about his wife taking his kids and his home, and being left with nothing, sadly not an entirely unrealistic scenario.
Lets hope he goes somewhere where he can get helpful advice, so that all parties obtain a fair outcome.

The OP has had loads of helpful advice on here such as:

1. Don't break the NMO or he'll go to prison.

2. Take legal advice on what would happen to his financial interest in the property if he moved out.

3. Put his children's welfare and wellbeing first.

4. Apologise to his wife and buy her flowers if he's done anything wrong (which he admits he has).

A court would never prevent a father or a mother from contact with their children unless they'd done something to deserve it. If he's done nothing wrong then he has nothing to fear.

What advice would you give him that hasn't already been given ?

[Guest]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

(Yes, that's pretty comprehensive advice! Amazing.)

3. Put his children's welfare and wellbeing first.

I would also say: "Look after yourself, as everyone else is affected".

The language "Fight for your marriage", "Fight for your kids"

...whilst it might seem noble, honest and right/righteous under most circumstances - is thrown into a different light under circumstances of a non-molestation order.

"Fight for your freedom by expressing yourself in terms in which you actually want to be represented"
might be better here.

There is a right of NO man to put husband and wife asunder.
That includes the courts, boyfriends, or anyone else.

This is freddieD's problem.
Nobility and attempting to keep the family together, if he can - under the circumstances.
How to act under a restraining order.
The problem is unique and complex.

Here is an example: if a wife of a man under a restraining order wants to keep his family together, and she lies to a court about his behaviour, how does he help himself? I would be honest with the court, NOT by saying "she's lying", but something less contentious. "Sir (judge), I want to keep my family together, but at present relations are so broken down (and I accept my part in this), that my wife seems to have resorted to telling falsehoods about me. I understand this, because of my behaviour. However, I should assert that the allegations made against me today are untrue, and I want to hold my family together. If my wife, for example, wishes to live apart for the time being, I will agree. I am concerned about falsehoods about me being used to break up our family in a manner that is potentially unnecessary"

It's not difficult to see how the involvement of the courts can, potentially, exacerbate some of the problems we're all having.

And I DARE NOT click 'Thanks', CC, for some of your hilarious posts.
With all due apologies to you, freddieD.
However, I think your problem, freddieD, may be that you need to be fearless, and know it will end well.

That's my last post on this :love: :okay:

[FlamingParrot]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

At least you didn't suggest the use of sounds...

(The lasses won't have the least idea of what we're in about !)

Au contraire! I once removed some posts from both of you naughty boys on another forum, where you were on about the exact same thing.:whip::whip:

[PlanB]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

The OP however seems to be more concerned about his wife taking his kids and his home, and being left with nothing, sadly not an entirely unrealistic scenario
.

I think Freddie will find that the courts listen to fathers much more than they used to. Freddie works from home so he could put up a good case for being around as a hands-on parent.

He's not told us the age of his daughters but he needs to bare in mind that when they reach 13 years (if they haven't already) they will have the legal right to chose which parent they want to live with. At that age children tend to make emotionally driven decisions so if they've witnessed any negative behaviour in the family home then they will vote with their feet.

[CleverClogs]

Re: What can I do under a Non-Molestation order?

I once removed some posts from both of you naughty boys on another forum,

And look where that got you. msl: