Child maintance

[Amy1994]

Hi can anyone help me?

i receive child maintence off my daughters dad every month, we went to court and had a contact order put in place to say the weekends he has her he has to take her to school on the Monday but he wants the uniform that I brought for her and he's saying the csa pays for it so he doesn't have to go and get one for his house. Is this true or can anyone give me advice xxx

Thank you xx

[Guest]

Re: Child maintance

Hi can anyone help me?

i receive child maintence off my daughters dad every month, we went to court and had a contact order put in place to say the weekends he has her he has to take her to school on the Monday but he wants the uniform that I brought for her and he's saying the csa pays for it so he doesn't have to go and get one for his house. Is this true or can anyone give me advice xxx

Thank you xx

Is the plan for her to have two sets of uniform, if so is that not a little wasteful? Perhaps items that need washing during the week it might be helpful to have two sets. Just thoughts.

[Amy1994]

Re: Child maintance

Is the plan for her to have two sets of uniform, if so is that not a little wasteful? Perhaps items that need washing during the week it might be helpful to have two sets. Just thoughts.

I had 2 at home for when I have her (1 to wear 1 to wash) but because he has to take her in the morning he wants the ones I've brought because he says he gives me csa for it anyway so he don't need to buy one x

[Guest]

Re: Child maintance

I had 2 at home for when I have her (1 to wear 1 to wash) but because he has to take her in the morning he wants the ones I've brought because he says he gives me csa for it anyway so he don't need to buy one x

Thanks for the reply. The one who I on refeflection feel sorry for is the child, who is caught up in a squabble between it's parents.

[Amy1994]

Re: Child maintance

I tried to say this to him

[Stu]

Re: Child maintance

The CSA covers many aspects of support for your child and the price of uniforms these day along with everything else it covers nowhere near enough and barely the stitching to hold it together, I think the guy need a long look in the mirror.

[Amethyst]

Re: Child maintance

Who collects the child from school on the Monday ? ( ie she is wearing her uniform then so it comes back to your house )

And does the Dad pick her up from School on Friday ? ( ie she is wearing her uniform then so wherever she goes, so does her uniform )

Either way, simply send her on the weekends at her Dad's with her uniform ready for wearing on Monday.

If he collects her on Friday, then he can wash it over the weekend.

Unless I'm missing something.

[Diana M]

Re: Child maintance

Looking at this from a practical not legal perspective, if Daughter goes to school on a Monday wearing Dad's Uniform she'll presumably go home to Mum at the end of the school day.

Then would she swap to Mum's Uniform on Tuesday morning and the rest of the week whilst leaving Dad's uniform in a cupboard/drawer/carrier bag.

If contact with Dad starts on Friday after school then she'll be wearing Mum's Uniform all day but will have to take Dad's Uniform with her to school so she's got it to wear to school on Monday morning.

Or if contact with Dad starts later on a Friday or on Saturday morning so she's not wearing uniform she'll have to take Dad's Uniform with her to wear on Monday morning.

If you follow me.

I think he's over-complicating things no matter who paid for which uniform.

I've been through this scenario as a divorced mother and no matter how many times things were duplicated (hairbrushes, asthma inhalers, teddy bears etc) something always ended up in the wrong home!

This became her perfect alibi for not handing in her homework too ("left it at my Dad's house").

Once she was old enough to take responsibility for what needed to be where and when the problem vanished overnight.

I wish you well with this, and roll on the school holidays when the issue will go away!

Di

[jaguarsuk]

Re: Child maintance

You know what, the pair of you need to grow up. You're supposed to be adults. It's not your uniform or his uniform, it's your daughters uniform regardless of whether she's at yours or her dads house.

[Amy1994]

Re: Child maintance

Who collects the child from school on the Monday ? ( ie she is wearing her uniform then so it comes back to your house )

And does the Dad pick her up from School on Friday ? ( ie she is wearing her uniform then so wherever she goes, so does her uniform )

Either way, simply send her on the weekends at her Dad's with her uniform ready for wearing on Monday.

If he collects her on Friday, then he can wash it over the weekend.

Unless I'm missing something.

he has her every other weekend and alternate Tuesdays I collect her from school everytime and he collects her from my house at 6pm

[Amy1994]

Re: Child maintance

You know what, the pair of you need to grow up. You're supposed to be adults. It's not your uniform or his uniform, it's your daughters uniform regardless of whether she's at yours or her dads house.

he needed to take some responsibility for his child not once has he had any responsibility since she started school 3 years ago so I think it's about time he takes some of it aswell sign as he's the other parent. I do not appreciate the way you have responded to something as I was only asking for advice not a lecture. Thank u

[Amy1994]

Re: Child maintance

Looking at this from a practical not legal perspective, if Daughter goes to school on a Monday wearing Dad's Uniform she'll presumably go home to Mum at the end of the school day.

Then would she swap to Mum's Uniform on Tuesday morning and the rest of the week whilst leaving Dad's uniform in a cupboard/drawer/carrier bag.

If contact with Dad starts on Friday after school then she'll be wearing Mum's Uniform all day but will have to take Dad's Uniform with her to school so she's got it to wear to school on Monday morning.

Or if contact with Dad starts later on a Friday or on Saturday morning so she's not wearing uniform she'll have to take Dad's Uniform with her to wear on Monday morning.

If you follow me.

I think he's over-complicating things no matter who paid for which uniform.

I've been through this scenario as a divorced mother and no matter how many times things were duplicated (hairbrushes, asthma inhalers, teddy bears etc) something always ended up in the wrong home!

This became her perfect alibi for not handing in her homework too ("left it at my Dad's house").

Once she was old enough to take responsibility for what needed to be where and when the problem vanished overnight.

I wish you well with this, and roll on the school holidays when the issue will go away!

Di

i have tried to help him regards to schooling like he had to put her in breakfast club and he said he didn't know what to do so I found out about it as I never had to put her in breakfast club and also paid for it, she's only 5 which some things are her responsibility to look after and take care of but her uniform is ideally mine and her fathers responsibility which I've tried to explain to him but all he does is chuck it back in my face. Thank u xx

[jaguarsuk]

Re: Child maintance

he needed to take some responsibility for his child not once has he had any responsibility since she started school 3 years ago so I think it's about time he takes some of it aswell sign as he's the other parent. I do not appreciate the way you have responded to something as I was only asking for advice not a lecture. Thank u

I'm sure you don't appreciate it, but your response just reiterates my point. Stop trying to score points, do what's best for your daughter and you know what I agree with him regarding his child maintenance. Whether you think that amount is enough is another matter, but he is right to say he has contributed to the purchase of her school uniform.

"Child maintenance is about providing help with a child's everyday living costs. This includes things like food and clothes, and helping to provide a home for your child or children." https://www.cmoptions.org/en/maintenance/

And before you jump back on your high horse, he needs telling exactly the same as I'm telling you. However, if you stop point scoring and take the adult approach, when he's doing it then he looks like a completely unreasonable buffoon. Wars aren't won on individual battles, they are the culmination of an overall strategy.

You need to share the school uniform.

[Diana M]

Re: Child maintance

i have tried to help him regards to schooling like he had to put her in breakfast club and he said he didn't know what to do so I found out about it as I never had to put her in breakfast club and also paid for it, she's only 5 which some things are her responsibility to look after and take care of but her uniform is ideally mine and her fathers responsibility which I've tried to explain to him but all he does is chuck it back in my face. Thank u xx

In my case it didn't stop at the basic school uniform whereabouts since there was also gym kit (always in the wrong house) and after school ballet classes (never enough tutus!) and I even left a springer spaniel behind one Sunday night (collected the child but forgot the dog ).

From the way you've described the contact routine I don't see how he can keep 'his' school uniform at his place anyway.

In fact I wonder how he would ever know which uniform she's got with her unless they've got His and Her name tapes sewn in them !

You're caught up in a power struggle which is nothing really to do with school uniform but in order to keep the peace you need to find a solution. I'm guessing that your budget is tight so buying another uniform is not an option?

Di