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Re: Hypothetical question: Post adoption social media question
Having been involved in care proceedings where children have been removed from birth parents, I would say it is for genuinely serious and often horrific reasons, that any child is removed and why no contact with the birth parents is allowed.
IMO it is quite right that the birth parents should not be allowed any contact. The child can 'find' them later in life if they so desire but bearing in mind the trauma they may have been through to result in the adoption, do they not need stability and support to learn what a more normal (whatever that is) family life is, to help them get over whatever happened in the past.
If the child is older when adopted the Courts can make recommendations regarding contact with the birth family, usually by way of letter if appropriate, but it can often be even more disruptive for the child and won't assist in the settling in process with the adoptive family. The adoptive parents do not have to honour any recommendation.
Unlike the past when there were many babies put up for adoption due in part to the stigma attached to unmarried mothers and the abortion laws at the time, the children who are adopted now are often very troubled, having experienced the most awful abuse and they generally need a huge amount of support and understanding, not additional heartache and confusion that could so easily be caused through contact with their birth parents, whether through social media or not.
The reasons for adoption these days are far removed from those reasons 40 years ago. The welfare of the child is the most important thing, not the feelings of the birth parents I'm afraid.
No doubt there will be some who argue that if the child has made contact then surely they want to 'know' the birth parent. Then I say does the child know best when they have been in an abusive relationship with the birth parents. If they were a baby when adopted, they would have been removed due to the risks of significant harm to them from the parent. Either way the reasons for adoption are so far removed from those historic reasons for adoption and that has to be remembered.
I'll get off my soap box now. Sorry peeps
Having been involved in care proceedings where children have been removed from birth parents, I would say it is for genuinely serious and often horrific reasons, that any child is removed and why no contact with the birth parents is allowed.
IMO it is quite right that the birth parents should not be allowed any contact. The child can 'find' them later in life if they so desire but bearing in mind the trauma they may have been through to result in the adoption, do they not need stability and support to learn what a more normal (whatever that is) family life is, to help them get over whatever happened in the past.
If the child is older when adopted the Courts can make recommendations regarding contact with the birth family, usually by way of letter if appropriate, but it can often be even more disruptive for the child and won't assist in the settling in process with the adoptive family. The adoptive parents do not have to honour any recommendation.
Unlike the past when there were many babies put up for adoption due in part to the stigma attached to unmarried mothers and the abortion laws at the time, the children who are adopted now are often very troubled, having experienced the most awful abuse and they generally need a huge amount of support and understanding, not additional heartache and confusion that could so easily be caused through contact with their birth parents, whether through social media or not.
The reasons for adoption these days are far removed from those reasons 40 years ago. The welfare of the child is the most important thing, not the feelings of the birth parents I'm afraid.
No doubt there will be some who argue that if the child has made contact then surely they want to 'know' the birth parent. Then I say does the child know best when they have been in an abusive relationship with the birth parents. If they were a baby when adopted, they would have been removed due to the risks of significant harm to them from the parent. Either way the reasons for adoption are so far removed from those historic reasons for adoption and that has to be remembered.
I'll get off my soap box now. Sorry peeps
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