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Re: Kids, their mothers, the CSA, my rights!
Thank you for your kind words and any further help will be really appreciated
Originally posted by MissFM
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Hello rjharvey
Like everyone else on here I would love to help you and your estranged family. All the posts above provide sterling advice IMHO. I would, though, like to add the following, just in case it helps, (wish it were more:hug
.
Splitting things into separate issues:
- the most important one is the welfare of your child(ren), as you have said. I would get the CAFCASS officer involved, urgently. The level of contact you have and how that is achieved has nothing to do with how much maintenance you can afford - it is purely (luckily also from the legal point of view) to do with the best interests of the child. Children are not chattels to be bought and sold and bargained over, so even if you can only pay the CSA (see later) the bare minimum, that is completely irrelevant as to how much contact you have and how it is arranged.
- I would definitely keep your present girlfriend well out of this, as advised above. Should that prove problematic then you really do have to make the decision as to whether your daughter is important enough to you - etc.. You must try to keep things amicable for your daughter's sake and respect her mother's wishes, which are likely to be to do with your daughter's welfare however it might seem.
- https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance/dna-tests More links, sorry - but you need to know whether or not the other child is yours
- https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance Check this and appeal if you think it unfair (what you're paying doesn't look correct to me FWIW). All the links are there.
- http://www.nationalprobonocentre.org.uk/ may help for free legal advice, which you clearly need. Another route would be to approach a local University and see if any senior law students who wish to specialise in Family Law would like to help you for experience and for free
I wish you so much good luck. You are much too young to have all this on your shoulders x
Like everyone else on here I would love to help you and your estranged family. All the posts above provide sterling advice IMHO. I would, though, like to add the following, just in case it helps, (wish it were more:hug
.Splitting things into separate issues:
- the most important one is the welfare of your child(ren), as you have said. I would get the CAFCASS officer involved, urgently. The level of contact you have and how that is achieved has nothing to do with how much maintenance you can afford - it is purely (luckily also from the legal point of view) to do with the best interests of the child. Children are not chattels to be bought and sold and bargained over, so even if you can only pay the CSA (see later) the bare minimum, that is completely irrelevant as to how much contact you have and how it is arranged.
- I would definitely keep your present girlfriend well out of this, as advised above. Should that prove problematic then you really do have to make the decision as to whether your daughter is important enough to you - etc.. You must try to keep things amicable for your daughter's sake and respect her mother's wishes, which are likely to be to do with your daughter's welfare however it might seem.
- https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance/dna-tests More links, sorry - but you need to know whether or not the other child is yours
- https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance Check this and appeal if you think it unfair (what you're paying doesn't look correct to me FWIW). All the links are there.
- http://www.nationalprobonocentre.org.uk/ may help for free legal advice, which you clearly need. Another route would be to approach a local University and see if any senior law students who wish to specialise in Family Law would like to help you for experience and for free
I wish you so much good luck. You are much too young to have all this on your shoulders x
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