Information on child access

[ConfusedMother]

Me and my ex partner have been separated for 7months, and things go very up and down with communication. It's causes a lot of distress my end. He's now gone too far, accusing me of using drugs and being an unfit mother, and threatening to report me to social services. I've decided the best thing to do is go to court to sort out a set day/days that he can see out daughter. I've never once stopped him from seeing her. He usually has her once a week for about 5hours. I don't believe this to be enough and push for it to be more, but he doesn't seem interested. He refuses to get a set day off a week at work, and normally let's me know at most, 2 days before he wants to see her and kicks off if we already have plans. I just want stability and routine for my daughter. We seem to be unable to communicate without arguing about our relationship. He won't let go of grievances from it.
Would be grateful for any advice anyone can give me.
Thanks.

[PlanB]

Re: Information on child access

Hello Confused Mother

You've come to the right place to establish your legal positon and to get support from loads of us mothers on here :grouphug:

How old is your daughter?

[labman]

Re: Information on child access

I just put the following into Google and got a whole load of charities set up to help resolve these types of issues:

resolving child access issues uk

[ConfusedMother]

Re: Information on child access

Hi PlanB she's 3, almost 4. Starting school in September.

[PlanB]

Re: Information on child access

:bump2::bump2:

[Inca]

Re: Information on child access

You are in quite a rare position in that you want him to see your child more,,most Mums get pressured for access (I wasn't,,but then my ex is a pillock)
He will make all sorts of dappy threats that,unless they are true,won't hold any water. People think that a report to Social Services opens up huge cans of worms which it can,but only if there is evidence of the allegations.
Pop in to your local CAB and try and source a free half hour with a family law solicitor,,if push comes to shove you can have visits in a contact centre,,not ideal I know but might convince him that your child should be the priority,not his hankering after the past

Good Luck
xx

[leclerc]

Re: Information on child access

Me and my ex partner have been separated for 7months, and things go very up and down with communication. It's causes a lot of distress my end. He's now gone too far, accusing me of using drugs and being an unfit mother, and threatening to report me to social services. I've decided the best thing to do is go to court to sort out a set day/days that he can see out daughter. I've never once stopped him from seeing her. He usually has her once a week for about 5hours. I don't believe this to be enough and push for it to be more, but he doesn't seem interested. He refuses to get a set day off a week at work, and normally let's me know at most, 2 days before he wants to see her and kicks off if we already have plans. I just want stability and routine for my daughter. We seem to be unable to communicate without arguing about our relationship. He won't let go of grievances from it.
Would be grateful for any advice anyone can give me.
Thanks.

Ok, simple thing may be that if he works then find a day when he does not work and state that the main reason for a set day is so that you do not make plans to go to the zoo/park etc etc and that his daughter knows that every Saturday/Sunday or whatever day that it is her day to see her father.
I think a regular day is better than simply 2 days notice because it avoids these stresses. If you go away on holiday on a day that he would have access then make it two days over the week. Going to court should be the last resort and not the first resort and you should always argue that it is about what is in the interest of your daughter because that is what the courts would be looking at. I entirely agree with your argument: Stability and Routine. What I would say if the relationship comes up is: let's talk about your daughter because our relationship as a couple is over.

If you have a smartphone then you can use an incall recorder so that you can record your phone calls since it might be useful later on down the line should that threat he made to you ever happen.
Does he pay any support for the upkeep of his child?