help, crb check after offense

[leclerc]

Re: help, crb check after offense

I hope I am not speaking out of line here but I admire your honesty and clearly the experience and the possibility of what you would lose has brought the whole enormity of what could have happened. Whilst we may deplore the act, I think from reading your posts here that you are clearly not a terrible person, but someone who made a mistake and realises what the cost could be. I think that is admirable.

[keska]

Re: help, crb check after offense

thank you, I do feel horrible, for what i've done and because of what i can loose. i have nobody but my hubby and i cannot tell him, if i loose my job i'll lose the house(mortgage),and because its a very specific job i'll probably wont find anything else. i feel like i'd be better dead than in the situation i'm in and all that because i've done something bad, pointless and so reckless once
if it did came up on enhanced crb how would it look like? all details, everything what police has written? could work ask police for all details? i so very much regret it and now i just want to save this life i've got

[wales01man]

Re: help, crb check after offense

There os every chance it will be ok my advice from experience though not for the same reason is to talk to your hubby he like others probably thinks you are worrying about something it must be hard for you hiding it but talking will help im sure i hide so much from my wife about the financial mess we were in but she knew something was wrong when i told her everthing she was great try it

[Eloise01]

Re: help, crb check after offense

There is every chance it will be ok my advice from experience though not for the same reason is to talk to your hubby he like others probably thinks you are worrying about something it must be hard for you hiding it but talking will help im sure i hide so much from my wife about the financial mess we were in but she knew something was wrong when i told her everthing she was great try it

Great advice. If your husband is the kind of man who will walk away without a backwards glance because you made a silly mistake then he isn't worth half as much as you think he is! So you made a stupid mistake - everyone does sometime. Stop beating yourself up over it.

I am far more concerned that you are making this into something much bigger and more important than it is. Yes you did a silly thing. You learned not to do it again. Now stop. You will make yourself sick with this, and then you won't be in a better place but a worse one.

[MissFM]

Re: help, crb check after offense

Am also hoping this is not out of line Keska and I am in concord with leclerc above. I doubt that there is a single person here who hasn't had a moment of madness at some time - made a terrible mistake. You were clearly found out - and however intense your remorse, which is to your credit, whatever you did can't have been that terrible or the legal consequences would have been swift and harsh. It does sound, from those in the know above, as if it is highly unlikely that your worst fears will materialise. If you follow BB's advice and SAR the police then at least you will know for sure. If it's not what you would like it to be, you at least then have the opportunity of firstly appealing directly to the police dept. concerned and (if that doesn't produce a favourable result) telling people yourself before they find out from other sources.

[CleverClogs]

Re: help, crb check after offense

If John Catt can get his record cleaned - link - then so should anyone who has never been arrested.

[keska]

Re: help, crb check after offense

thank you for all your advice, i will try to check it with the police if they recorded anything, will be looking for a new job just in case...

[Eloise01]

Re: help, crb check after offense

There is no need to look for a new job - your current job has been eCRB cleared and there is no reason to think that this will come to light until a new clearance is required IF it ever does come to light, which we very much doubt that it will. And even if it did - and it is very unlikely that it would - this is not a bar to being employed. Employers can decide that the circumstances are such that they will disregard even convictions - and you do not have a conviction.

Can I ask you a question that nobody has asked because we have been focussing on the immediate problem at hand. What did you do and why did you do it? It's true that anyone can do something foolish or out of character, but you do not come across as a likely candidate for doing something like this. In fact you come across as so scared of the consequences of this that you would never even think of doing it in the first place! I did notice that you mentioned maternity leave in passing - is it possible that your actions were prompted by depression or some other factor? Because if there is a reason, no matter what, you may need to deal with that problem. It may be a bigger problem than the one you have posted about, but you don't realise it.

And just to prove that everyone can do something stupid.... many years ago I went into a shop for one thing. I picked it up and then saw something else so I picked up a basket and put the something else in it. I still had the thing I went in for in my hand! I ended up putting several things in the basket, still with the thing I went in for in my hand; and went to the till, paid for everything in the basket, still with the thing I went in for in my hand; walked out of the shop, still with the thing I went in for in my hand; and only when I got back to my car did I even realise it was still in my hand and I hadn't paid for it! Stuff happens. It doesn't mean you are a bad person.

[keska]

Re: help, crb check after offense

I don't know why I did it,I put it,an ornament,in a basket cos I liked it,I though I'll buy it,it will look nice on a fireplace,then I put couple of tops in a basket n went to try them on,that's when I put it in a bag,I don't know why,I didn't think about it,only when they stopped me I realised n was terrified,yeah, I had hard time during pregnancy healthwise,my baby is affected that's because my body didn't work as it should,, anyway,that's not an excuse
With a job,I don't think I would w ant to work knowing that people may be thinking bad of me,talking behind

[MissFM]

Re: help, crb check after offense

In other words, Keska, you accidentally "shoplifted" and got caught. Please stop beating yourself up about this - it was a mistake and rest assured that you would have been given a very hard time indeed if it were anything else. I wish there were a way to reassure you - but SAR -ing the police might help on a practical level.

[bluebottle]

Re: help, crb check after offense

I don't know why I did it,I put it,an ornament,in a basket cos I liked it,I though I'll buy it,it will look nice on a fireplace,then I put couple of tops in a basket n went to try them on,that's when I put it in a bag,I don't know why,I didn't think about it,only when they stopped me I realised n was terrified,yeah, I had hard time during pregnancy,my baby has health problem because my body attacked her organs,we didn't know I had any problems,it is rate,I had no symptoms,now I know it is just a matter of time when I will get ill, I accepted that I think, anyway,that's not an excuse
With a job,I don't think I would want to work knowing that people may be thinking bad of me,talking behind NY back

Typical retail security behaving like idiots. At least the police realised they were making a mountain out of a molehill and took the course of action they took. I am a retired policeman and, believe me, there have been times when I have been sorely-tempted to insert the toe of my size 11 boot up retail security's backsides. They are ill-disciplined, poorly-trained and waste a lot of police time.

[Eloise01]

Re: help, crb check after offense

I don't know why I did it,I put it,an ornament,in a basket cos I liked it,I though I'll buy it,it will look nice on a fireplace,then I put couple of tops in a basket n went to try them on,that's when I put it in a bag,I don't know why,I didn't think about it,only when they stopped me I realised n was terrified,yeah, I had hard time during pregnancy healthwise,my baby is affected that's because my body didn't work as it should,, anyway,that's not an excuse
With a job,I don't think I would w ant to work knowing that people may be thinking bad of me,talking behind

I assume that you mean that you put it into your own bag in the changing rooms?

Actually, this is not at all untypical behaviour with forms of post-natal depression - risky behaviour is a form of self-harming and is often done without any real intent or comprehension. There are some signs of it in your posts too, which is why I asked. And it is not at all uncommon after a difficult pregnancy. I really would very strongly suggest that you talk to your GP. No matter what you tell them they won't judge you or tell others about it, but if you do have post-natal depression this is a very serious illness - but totally treatable. If you are ill there is help available.