Want to take my Ex to small claims, but concerned she will counter-claim

[NusNet]

Hello, so last June, my partner of 4 years suddenly left me whilst I was abroad in Australia for 6 months. Just one week before hand, I had lent her £600 for her cat’s emergency operation, and also paid her £385 pounds as my first month’s rent for a house share. I was on a drafted contract for this which would start in July 2023. Well it turns out she delayed signing that contract, let it expire, and made a new one without me. She agreed to repay me the ~£985 in multiple text messages, agreed payment plan schedules etc. I also have an audio recording acknowledging this and copies of all relevant referenced bank statements, draft contracts and receipts.

Now initially payments stalled, I was pretty accommodating and patient. Then around a month later, I get a long email, saying she will not be paying me any of the money saved for me, and implied that she has grounds for counter-claims against me. I’m fairly sure this wouldn’t stand up and is simply an attempt to stop me from pursing her, but I would greatly appreciate some advice on what you all think.

Her claims:
- 1. I should be backdated for the equivalent-storage costs of items I had in her rented house-share, from when I first left to Australia in February, before I collected them in August ~ 22 weeks.
- 2. I should be backdated for utilities and rent in her rented house-share from September 2022 - January 2023. (Was not on the contract, she was lead-tenant)
- 3. I should be backdated 2 months of rent from when we were living together in 2022. (Was on the contract)

Now my thoughts are as follows: Number 1 seems unreasonable as we were together as a couple when I left for Australia, and the breakup only occurred in late June. I was on a placement that I could not easily leave, and had no home in the UK once she effectively kicked me off the contract at the very last moment before my flight home. Number 2 is more complicated; during this time I did live with her, but not continually. I covered her food costs, paid solely for her security cameras she wanted installed, and covered the internet costs etc. Her third point is the only one I am concerned about, as we were both on this contract together, however she was the head tenant, and rent was only paid directly from one account (hers) each month. She verbally agreed to cover my rent for ~2 months (ironically because she owed me money back then too), and no writing, messages or anything exists of this agreement stipulating I intended to pay her back - it was never a problem until I kept pushing her for the £985.

My ex had BPD, and was fairly abusive over the years. I’m desperate to get this money back, as I feel it’s the only clear-cut money she owes me worth going after. Technically if was to go on this style of tit-for-tat basis, she owes me another ~£4000 for food and just a litany of expenses I covered over the past 2 years, but that is way too convoluted to take to small claims. Not sure if I should add this, but whilst I was in Australia, she repeatedly spent money (several £100's) on my cards without my permission, and I also have several messages of me repeatedly asking her not to do this, only for it to happen again. This actually almost made me overdrawn in several accounts, as at the time, all of my money was in an Australian bank account. I was foolish, and put up with way to much in hindsight. Is there any recourse I can take, or could she successfully throw my case out? I'm not sure if she is just attempting to scare me away from chasing this.

Finally, thank you for reading all of this!

[R0b]

Hi,

Firstly, counterclaims are part and parcel of legal proceedings so if you have concerns that she might do that if you issue a claim, and you might have to owe her money, then you should consider not bringing a claim against her and she has done her job in deterring you. However, what I would say is just because she might counterclaim, doesn't automatically mean she will be successful. She needs to have a legal basis for claiming and then needs to provide sufficient evidence to prove that she is owed the money.

If you can get over that fear and are willing to take a risk, then here are my initial thoughts:

1. The law presumes that there is no contract when it comes to social agreements, family members and relationships. These arrangements are seen to be informal arrangements and not binding, unless the contrary can be proved.

2. Based on my first point, unless she has some kind of written evidence that she can show you agreed to repay her those monies back, you simply argue that no contract existed.

a. If there was no agreement that you will pay her for storing your items, I can't see how she can retroactively apply a charge and even more so unilaterally at her own discretion.

b. As for paying utilities, that's a question of fact but again, if your name was not on the tenancy agreement then you have no obligation to pay utilities unless you agreed and she can evidence that (or you decide to accept her claim). There could a be a complication with this because if you were not on the tenancy agreement and she agreed to allow you to live there for periods at a time, requiring you to pay for your share of utilities could imply a sub-tenancy contract that could give you broader rights. If she kicked you out without giving the required notice or at least reasonable notice, then you could potentially argue breach of contract and claim losses flowing from that breach.

If you really wanted to take advantage, you could tell her you will threaten to tell her landlord that she was allowing you to stay at the property as a sub-tenant since she was asking you to pay for utility bills. Sub-tenancies are usually prohibited without consent of the landlord. Of course, you should be cautious of this approach because it can always backfire but that's up to you to decide.

c. If you were on the tenancy contract, then I don't think you can argue with that if you never paid your share.

3. As for all the bits that you paid on her behalf, I refer you back to my first point. Without evidence or proof that she agreed to repay you back, a judge is likely to find insufficient evidence and determine that this was an informal, non-binding arrangement.

However, as regards to her spending money on your cards without your permission, that is fraud which is both a criminal offence and a civil matter. Again, depending on how much you want your ex to back off, you could tell her that her spending without your permission is fraud and you could report it to the police. Although if you decide to do it now given that it was quite a while ago, the police may not take it as seriously and could be seen as vindictive. Nevertheless, it is still a serious matter and should be taken seriously, especially if she hasn't paid you back and that has had negative consequences with being overdrawn. It goes without saying that criminal offences of fraud can affect peoples livelihood and jobs depending on what they do so also bear that in mind.

Unless there are continuing and ongoing issues with your ex, you may want to simply draw a line in the sand on this one and have a clean break by both agreeing not to sue each other.

[NusNet]

Hi ROB,

Thanks for all the infomation, its really helpful.
so as to her last point, do you think there is a chance she could claim i should owe her rent?

This related to a different flat, but yes we were both on the tenancy agreement. It was always a verbal agreement that she would cover my rent for ~2 months, and there is nothing in writing to suggest i pay her back (even messages), and was not documented. Ironically, this agreement was made because she owed me money even back then, so we saw it as a way to both be even for money owed. Over the past 3 years I can show consistent back statements of her repaying me with references of "owed" or "debt" etc.

As for the ~985 she owes me, I have countless texts confirming that she acknowledges the money owed, and had time frames of when she planned to pay me back.

I'm not sure if I really want to chase up this money she spent on my card, but I would estimate it to be in the region of around £500 pounds. She acknowledged countless times they were mistakes or accidents, but again i have never got any of this back.

[NusNet]

Hi,
Firstly, counterclaims are part and parcel of legal proceedings so if you have concerns that she might do that if you issue a claim, and you might have to owe her money, then you should consider not bringing a claim against her and she has done her job in deterring you. However, what I would say is just because she might counterclaim, doesn't automatically mean she will be successful. She needs to have a legal basis for claiming and then needs to provide sufficient evidence to prove that she is owed the money.
If you can get over that fear and are willing to take a risk, then here are my initial thoughts:
1. The law presumes that there is no contract when it comes to social agreements, family members and relationships. These arrangements are seen to be informal arrangements and not binding, unless the contrary can be proved.
2. Based on my first point, unless she has some kind of written evidence that she can show you agreed to repay her those monies back, you simply argue that no contract existed.
a. If there was no agreement that you will pay her for storing your items, I can't see how she can retroactively apply a charge and even more so unilaterally at her own discretion.
b. As for paying utilities, that's a question of fact but again, if your name was not on the tenancy agreement then you have no obligation to pay utilities unless you agreed and she can evidence that (or you decide to accept her claim). There could a be a complication with this because if you were not on the tenancy agreement and she agreed to allow you to live there for periods at a time, requiring you to pay for your share of utilities could imply a sub-tenancy contract that could give you broader rights. If she kicked you out without giving the required notice or at least reasonable notice, then you could potentially argue breach of contract and claim losses flowing from that breach.
If you really wanted to take advantage, you could tell her you will threaten to tell her landlord that she was allowing you to stay at the property as a sub-tenant since she was asking you to pay for utility bills. Sub-tenancies are usually prohibited without consent of the landlord. Of course, you should be cautious of this approach because it can always backfire but that's up to you to decide.
c. If you were on the tenancy contract, then I don't think you can argue with that if you never paid your share.
3. As for all the bits that you paid on her behalf, I refer you back to my first point. Without evidence or proof that she agreed to repay you back, a judge is likely to find insufficient evidence and determine that this was an informal, non-binding arrangement.
However, as regards to her spending money on your cards without your permission, that is fraud which is both a criminal offence and a civil matter. Again, depending on how much you want your ex to back off, you could tell her that her spending without your permission is fraud and you could report it to the police. Although if you decide to do it now given that it was quite a while ago, the police may not take it as seriously and could be seen as vindictive. Nevertheless, it is still a serious matter and should be taken seriously, especially if she hasn't paid you back and that has had negative consequences with being overdrawn. It goes without saying that criminal offences of fraud can affect peoples livelihood and jobs depending on what they do so also bear that in mind.
Unless there are continuing and ongoing issues with your ex, you may want to simply draw a line in the sand on this one and have a clean break by both agreeing not to sue each other.

Sorry, I meant to reply to you with a quote, re point c.

[R0b]

I think there is a reasonable possibility that as a named tenant, you are jointly responsible for the rent. Unless you can prove other arrangements were made and that although you were the lead tenant, you had agreed that you would not be paying any rent during this period per what you describe. You may have an uphill struggle without written proof or your ex confirming what you are saying is true. The only other way to succeed would be to pick holes in her story and any witness statement she submits as part of the legal proceedings.

Only you can decide whether this is worth pursuing or not but if you were going to go for it, I would be claiming everything at one.

[NusNet]

I think there is a reasonable possibility that as a named tenant, you are jointly responsible for the rent. Unless you can prove other arrangements were made and that although you were the lead tenant, you had agreed that you would not be paying any rent during this period per what you describe. You may have an uphill struggle without written proof or your ex confirming what you are saying is true. The only other way to succeed would be to pick holes in her story and any witness statement she submits as part of the legal proceedings.

Only you can decide whether this is worth pursuing or not but if you were going to go for it, I would be claiming everything at one.

I should have worded things better, apologies.
So as for the "2 month rent"property, we were both on the contract, and she was also the lead tenant again. Double checked the contract and it was one payment each month between us, so I typically transfered half to her each month. Overall, the rent was of course fully covered, but yes I have no documents of this agreement of ~2 months.
I do however have bank statements proving with references she was in the process of paying me money back each month (on top of the rent being covered).

I'm not sure if this would be accepted, but my justification is that she owed money back then, and we lived together afterwards; this was never an issue for a year and a half, and wasnt mentioned when discussing final monies owed to me, before she suddenly changed her mind about repayments.