Hello, so last June, my partner of 4 years suddenly left me whilst I was abroad in Australia for 6 months. Just one week before hand, I had lent her £600 for her cat’s emergency operation, and also paid her £385 pounds as my first month’s rent for a house share. I was on a drafted contract for this which would start in July 2023. Well it turns out she delayed signing that contract, let it expire, and made a new one without me. She agreed to repay me the ~£985 in multiple text messages, agreed payment plan schedules etc. I also have an audio recording acknowledging this and copies of all relevant referenced bank statements, draft contracts and receipts.
Now initially payments stalled, I was pretty accommodating and patient. Then around a month later, I get a long email, saying she will not be paying me any of the money saved for me, and implied that she has grounds for counter-claims against me. I’m fairly sure this wouldn’t stand up and is simply an attempt to stop me from pursing her, but I would greatly appreciate some advice on what you all think.
Her claims:
- 1. I should be backdated for the equivalent-storage costs of items I had in her rented house-share, from when I first left to Australia in February, before I collected them in August ~ 22 weeks.
- 2. I should be backdated for utilities and rent in her rented house-share from September 2022 - January 2023. (Was not on the contract, she was lead-tenant)
- 3. I should be backdated 2 months of rent from when we were living together in 2022. (Was on the contract)
Now my thoughts are as follows: Number 1 seems unreasonable as we were together as a couple when I left for Australia, and the breakup only occurred in late June. I was on a placement that I could not easily leave, and had no home in the UK once she effectively kicked me off the contract at the very last moment before my flight home. Number 2 is more complicated; during this time I did live with her, but not continually. I covered her food costs, paid solely for her security cameras she wanted installed, and covered the internet costs etc. Her third point is the only one I am concerned about, as we were both on this contract together, however she was the head tenant, and rent was only paid directly from one account (hers) each month. She verbally agreed to cover my rent for ~2 months (ironically because she owed me money back then too), and no writing, messages or anything exists of this agreement stipulating I intended to pay her back - it was never a problem until I kept pushing her for the £985.
My ex had BPD, and was fairly abusive over the years. I’m desperate to get this money back, as I feel it’s the only clear-cut money she owes me worth going after. Technically if was to go on this style of tit-for-tat basis, she owes me another ~£4000 for food and just a litany of expenses I covered over the past 2 years, but that is way too convoluted to take to small claims. Not sure if I should add this, but whilst I was in Australia, she repeatedly spent money (several £100's) on my cards without my permission, and I also have several messages of me repeatedly asking her not to do this, only for it to happen again. This actually almost made me overdrawn in several accounts, as at the time, all of my money was in an Australian bank account. I was foolish, and put up with way to much in hindsight. Is there any recourse I can take, or could she successfully throw my case out? I'm not sure if she is just attempting to scare me away from chasing this.
Finally, thank you for reading all of this!
Now initially payments stalled, I was pretty accommodating and patient. Then around a month later, I get a long email, saying she will not be paying me any of the money saved for me, and implied that she has grounds for counter-claims against me. I’m fairly sure this wouldn’t stand up and is simply an attempt to stop me from pursing her, but I would greatly appreciate some advice on what you all think.
Her claims:
- 1. I should be backdated for the equivalent-storage costs of items I had in her rented house-share, from when I first left to Australia in February, before I collected them in August ~ 22 weeks.
- 2. I should be backdated for utilities and rent in her rented house-share from September 2022 - January 2023. (Was not on the contract, she was lead-tenant)
- 3. I should be backdated 2 months of rent from when we were living together in 2022. (Was on the contract)
Now my thoughts are as follows: Number 1 seems unreasonable as we were together as a couple when I left for Australia, and the breakup only occurred in late June. I was on a placement that I could not easily leave, and had no home in the UK once she effectively kicked me off the contract at the very last moment before my flight home. Number 2 is more complicated; during this time I did live with her, but not continually. I covered her food costs, paid solely for her security cameras she wanted installed, and covered the internet costs etc. Her third point is the only one I am concerned about, as we were both on this contract together, however she was the head tenant, and rent was only paid directly from one account (hers) each month. She verbally agreed to cover my rent for ~2 months (ironically because she owed me money back then too), and no writing, messages or anything exists of this agreement stipulating I intended to pay her back - it was never a problem until I kept pushing her for the £985.
My ex had BPD, and was fairly abusive over the years. I’m desperate to get this money back, as I feel it’s the only clear-cut money she owes me worth going after. Technically if was to go on this style of tit-for-tat basis, she owes me another ~£4000 for food and just a litany of expenses I covered over the past 2 years, but that is way too convoluted to take to small claims. Not sure if I should add this, but whilst I was in Australia, she repeatedly spent money (several £100's) on my cards without my permission, and I also have several messages of me repeatedly asking her not to do this, only for it to happen again. This actually almost made me overdrawn in several accounts, as at the time, all of my money was in an Australian bank account. I was foolish, and put up with way to much in hindsight. Is there any recourse I can take, or could she successfully throw my case out? I'm not sure if she is just attempting to scare me away from chasing this.
Finally, thank you for reading all of this!
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