Threat of a Money Claim

[CleverClogs]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

my brother ... diddled me

Your mother will miss you once you're gone and vice versa. If it was me I'd sooner pay back any money my mother felt she was owed because I owe everything to her for the way she made scarifies to bring me up. She's dead now so I'll never be able to balance the books

I am sure that whatever or whoever your mother scarified, she did so willingly. :grin:

[CleverClogs]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

If the wedding is going to be moved forward, does that mean mumsy will miss the christening of her first grandchild?

[Inca]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

I'm sorry if I annoyed you......I was trying to make you see the reasons behind your Mums behaviour since 'that night' from a Mums point of view.( based on my knowledge as a Mum,a daughter, sibling,all of which I have experienced).

Can someone please answer this for me :-
If Mum does issue legal proceedings before powerchord emigrates and gets the CCJ....at what point would it flag up on her passport (or would it ever flag up)? I'm asking because I genuinely don't know.

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

If she does claim, how would I state that I feel it is malicious? On the initial defence form or would it have to wait til court?

^^^^ sorry I missed your earlier question. If this claim is likely to be over £10k (it's possible from what you say) then the court would normally order the losing party to pay the other side's legal costs. These can be thousands of pounds if either of you instruct a solicitor to deal with the proceedings. That's the first thing to consider. If your mother is motivated by spite (as you say) then she may simply want her 'day in court' no matter what it costs, win or lose.

There are strict Pre-Action Protocols which must be obeyed before issuing a summons. One of these includes the potential claimant (i.e. your mother) sending a clear Letter Before Action setting out (a) the precise amount to be claimed and why they think it's owed (b) how the claim should be satisfied such as payment (or fixing the problem if it's shoddy goods or services etc) by a specific date or within a specific deadline such as 14 or 21 days, and (c) what will happen if you don't (a claim will be issued in the county court). Once that is received you will have the opportunity to respond and in particular ask for any documents she intends to rely upon in court for the claim. Proceedings won't have started at this stage.

There are other things she needs to do as well. See here:

http://www.justice.gov.uk/courts/pro...action_conduct

Your Defence will be the opportunity for you to address and refute anything she brings up in the Particulars of Claim once procedings have been issued. Stating that you believe the claim to be malicious could be one of these things. There will be an opportunity further down the line to submit a Witness Statement where you can elaborate on that in more detail.

If you do receive a summons from your mother it may be wise to seek formal legal advice as to whether you could apply to the court to get the claim struck out as "vexatious". You need to ask a lawyer whether that's an option.

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

If Mum does issue legal proceedings before powerchord emigrates and gets the CCJ....at what point would it flag up on her passport (or would it ever flag up)? I'm asking because I genuinely don't know.

On the basis that in this country you are 'innocent until proven guilty' the OP currently has nothing negative against her character or anything else until a court makes a judgement

The convoluted CPR stuff relating to court timetables means that the hearing wouldn't take place until a minimum of 30 weeks after the case has been allocated to her local court. And that doesn't happen until at least a month has gone by from the summons' date. In fact there's usually a month 'on hold' after the defence has been filed while the court encourages both parties to consider mediation.

So the whole process takes nearly a year to conclude. By that time the OP will be in the US.

I still think that only a criminal conviction would endanger her passport or visa.

[CleverClogs]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

If Mum does issue legal proceedings before powerchord emigrates and gets the CCJ....at what point would it flag up on her passport (or would it ever flag up)? I'm asking because I genuinely don't know.

It wouldn't.

[CleverClogs]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

I still think that only a criminal conviction would endanger her passport or visa.

Not quite - a mere allegation of terrorist involvement could do that.

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

PlanB, if I had the money to give her, then it would definitely be a consideration. As you say, it would be worth it just in hope of some sort of resolution. However, I finished training last year and only started full-time work in late Sept. Since then a lot of my money has gone towards paying off my student overdraft (paying it off before I emigrate) or into savings for the visa and wedding-related stuff. What I have left in this savings account after paying for the church, minister fees, visa forms etc doesn't even touch what she wants me to give her. Another £235 of that is coming out on Friday to pay for the medical I have to have to get the visa.

She knows I can't pay it. I think she knows if I do attempt to pay her back as much as possible then it will seriously delay getting out to the states as I still need to finish paying off my overdraft, settle my mobile phone contract by paying up to next January, pay for the actual visa, buy a plane ticket etc. Where I am working now is only guaranteed up until Feb half term so I may not have any income at all soon. The rest of this year was always going to be an expensive one for me!

In terms of the amount of the claim, I don't think it will be over 10K now as in her answerphone messages yesterday she mentioned she wanted paying back for X, Y and Z but didn't mention the 6K at all so hopefully my letter reminded her of the fact that she spent it.

CleverClogs, I have noooo intentions of procreating any time soon! Will be a long time before my mum has any grandkids between me and my child-hating brother :P

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Not quite - a mere allegation of terrorist involvement could do that.

I stand corrected

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

She knows I can't pay it. I think she knows if I do attempt to pay her back as much as possible then it will seriously delay getting out to the states as I still need to finish paying off my overdraft, settle my mobile phone contract by paying up to next January, pay for the actual visa, buy a plane ticket etc. Where I am working now is only guaranteed up until Feb half term so I may not have any income at all soon.

Does she really know you couldn't afford to pay her back even if you wanted to because you simply don't have the money? It would be foolish of her to take you to court to get a judgment which you can arrange to pay at a token £1 per month if the court accepts your financial situation.

I know you don't want emotional responses on your thread but I can't help picking up on something you said in your last post about how paying her back would seriously delay you getting out to the states. Any chance that thought has crossed her mind too and could it be her motivation for all this? Maybe she's looking for ways to keep you here.

I would do whatever it takes to keep my daughter on the same continent as me so long as it's legal. Failing that I would pack my bags and turn up on her doorstep in whichever foreign land she decides to relocate to. She's not getting away from me that easy :ballchain:

[Inca]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Can I ask why you have the receipt for the stairs?
I appreciate (believe it or not) that your Mum is probably very 'passionate' when she thinks she is being wronged (even when she isn't)....which leads me to a very random question.....how old is she? (you don't have to be precise)
Has she always been the same or has she changed as a person?
Do you really think she would pursue a court claim against you? Is this the first time she's threatened such actions against anyone?
Maybe she interpreted your immediate transfer of the 14k and the credit card stoppage as 'hostile' even though you did it because you thought it was the correct thing to do. (we all cover our own backs,it's human nature)

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Can I ask why you have the receipt for the stairs?
I appreciate (believe it or not) that your Mum is probably very 'passionate' when she thinks she is being wronged (even when she isn't)....which leads me to a very random question.....how old is she? (you don't have to be precise)
Has she always been the same or has she changed as a person?
Do you really think she would pursue a court claim against you? Is this the first time she's threatened such actions against anyone?
Maybe she interpreted your immediate transfer of the 14k and the credit card stoppage as 'hostile' even though you did it because you thought it was the correct thing to do. (we all cover our own backs,it's human nature)

The company who came out to do the stairs sent the receipt via email. The email address that my mum uses is actually mine from when I was about 11 so it's a bit embarrassing! My current one is just my name so we just gave them that. I still have it as it was only installed a few weeks ago so we thought it best to keep it in case there are any problems.

She's 50. She has always been the same but within the last year or so it's gotten much worse. There have been lots of little things such as neighbour disputes with her (actually completely the neighbours' fault), my dad's case, problems at work which she's had to fight and she's become increasingly unable to let go, even when problems are solved (ie, my neighbours stopped blocking our cars in yet she still frequently rants about them and does little things to spite them.)

At the start of the week I did honestly think that she would start a court claim against me. However, after my letter and her reaction, I'm not so sure now. I think she realised I don't actually owe what she originally thought.

Knowing her, I think that this is an issue with control. After leaving me in Bristol and locking the house up against me that night and the next day, she had control. Thinking about it now she was going to continue to keep me locked out of the house, unable to get at my things, my car keys, my money and unable to get to work because of these things until I renounced all my sins and begged for forgiveness for...well I'm still not quite sure what really. She probably thought hey, it won't be long, she has nothing with her and can hardly go to work without her car and in her normal clothes! Then I went and messed up the plan with the locksmith.

The locksmith thing was an act of rashness and desperation (I was seriously freaking out at the time) but she probably saw it as me doing it out of spite or to take control away from her. Actually, I had a 4am answerphone message from her the following Wednesday calling me a "controlling bleep" (she thought I'd changed my dad's email password...actually she'd just forgotten what it was...) The money thing is really the only shot she has left to fire at me I guess. How far will she take it? I'm really not sure now.

[wales01man]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

FFS Get round there and talk to your mum I would guarantee that you BOTH will regret it if you get married and move to the states with this unsorted you only have one mum and remember she gave birth to you betting that matters to her in truth than a feud over money.
Sorry to be so blunt

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

She's 50. She has always been the same but within the last year or so it's gotten much worse.

I'm going to say one word before anyone else does and that's *menopause*. I turned into a complete werewolf when it happened to me. Ask my daughter

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

FFS Get round there and talk to your mum I would guarantee that you BOTH will regret it if you get married and move to the states with this unsorted you only have one mum and remember she gave birth to you betting that matters to her in truth than a feud over money.

^^^^ I couldn't agree with you more. You only get one shot at being a parent and yes we do screw up time after time. At least that's what my smartarse daughter repeatedly tells me :rolleyes2: There's no training manual on how to be a parent, no exam to sit; you give birth and then get on with it making mistake after mistake.

I didn't resolve my differences with my mother before she died and that makes me cry buckets to this day.