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Hello everyone,
I have already posted an update to my existing saga, under the heading:- Deceit - Theft - Mental abuse, but reading through the many interesting headings on this site has made me have another thought.
For roughly 20 years I was subjected to daily mental abuse by my wife.
I cannot say that we had continuous rows, fights or anything that definite, but it was done in such a way that whatever I said or did there would always be some small thing wrong.
The abuse is so gentle and subtle that you cannot tell that you are being taken over and controlled.
Small example. I completely tiled one of the bathrooms, floor and walls, I am a professional photographer, not a tiler, but it turned out to be a fantastic job, very accurate and five years later is still admired by visitors.
My wife came home from a shopping trip, came to have a look, but instead of the praise I expected from what I knew to be a good job, she just stood for a few minutes scanning every tile, pointed to one and said. ''that one is not straight'' I could actually not see anything wrong with it, so together we used a spirit level and tape measure and blow me down it was a 32nd of an inch out at the top, her comment, ''but it is still not straight'' five years on and try as I may, I can not find that tile now.
Having now read so much information about how 'NARCISSISTS' work to control other people, I now realise that this is exactly what she was doing, the tile example above was of no importance, but she had to undermine whatever I did or said.
I hate to have to admit it, but I was the subject of both her and her sons abuse for over 20 years without realising it.
Her first husband left home when the son was only three years of age, the son could not bear his father to be in the same room as him and his 'MUMSIE' as he still refers to her today and he is now 35 years old, if his father came into a room where he and his MUMSIE were, he would go into immediate meltdown he could not allow his MUMSIE'S attention to be diverted from him for one second.
He swore to me the first day that I moved into their home that I would never take his mumsie away from him, he was literally foaming at the mouth in anger at me being in his home and sleeping with his mumsie. He eventually had his way, was given nearly £300,000 of my / our money by convincing his mother to steal for him.
He used a stolen credit card belonging to me for over 12 years, even renewing it when it expired, he has convinced the police and the bank that I gave it to him. I did not.
After four years now on my own since she left, I am just starting to regain some of my self respect and self worth, but even now I still find it difficult to come to terms with my lack of self esteem and ability.
For most of my working life before meeting my wife I was a very well known photographer, I held one of the highest civilian security passes that it is possible to get, I could walk into any public building or palace anywhere and in fact was a regular visitor to Buckingham Palace and the queen mothers apartments.
I mention this only to show that I was truly an honest person, but I fell in love with the wrong lady who succeeded in reducing me to a meek mouse too frightened to even squeak.
So can I use this vague accusation that cannot be proved in our forthcoming divorce that I have instigated as well as the missing money.
Can I mention the fact that she has numerous private pensions amounting to many thousands of pounds as well as so many ISA's that I could paper a room with the certificates.
I am a this moment totally penniless, I have no access to any funds, I have not had a meal of any substance in over two months, I cannot buy desperately needed medications after suffering two strokes directly caused by my wife's actions. My health is degenerating daily and she will do nothing to help.
Please help me, what can I do?
Thanks in advance.
Gerry
I have already posted an update to my existing saga, under the heading:- Deceit - Theft - Mental abuse, but reading through the many interesting headings on this site has made me have another thought.
For roughly 20 years I was subjected to daily mental abuse by my wife.
I cannot say that we had continuous rows, fights or anything that definite, but it was done in such a way that whatever I said or did there would always be some small thing wrong.
The abuse is so gentle and subtle that you cannot tell that you are being taken over and controlled.
Small example. I completely tiled one of the bathrooms, floor and walls, I am a professional photographer, not a tiler, but it turned out to be a fantastic job, very accurate and five years later is still admired by visitors.
My wife came home from a shopping trip, came to have a look, but instead of the praise I expected from what I knew to be a good job, she just stood for a few minutes scanning every tile, pointed to one and said. ''that one is not straight'' I could actually not see anything wrong with it, so together we used a spirit level and tape measure and blow me down it was a 32nd of an inch out at the top, her comment, ''but it is still not straight'' five years on and try as I may, I can not find that tile now.
Having now read so much information about how 'NARCISSISTS' work to control other people, I now realise that this is exactly what she was doing, the tile example above was of no importance, but she had to undermine whatever I did or said.
I hate to have to admit it, but I was the subject of both her and her sons abuse for over 20 years without realising it.
Her first husband left home when the son was only three years of age, the son could not bear his father to be in the same room as him and his 'MUMSIE' as he still refers to her today and he is now 35 years old, if his father came into a room where he and his MUMSIE were, he would go into immediate meltdown he could not allow his MUMSIE'S attention to be diverted from him for one second.
He swore to me the first day that I moved into their home that I would never take his mumsie away from him, he was literally foaming at the mouth in anger at me being in his home and sleeping with his mumsie. He eventually had his way, was given nearly £300,000 of my / our money by convincing his mother to steal for him.
He used a stolen credit card belonging to me for over 12 years, even renewing it when it expired, he has convinced the police and the bank that I gave it to him. I did not.
After four years now on my own since she left, I am just starting to regain some of my self respect and self worth, but even now I still find it difficult to come to terms with my lack of self esteem and ability.
For most of my working life before meeting my wife I was a very well known photographer, I held one of the highest civilian security passes that it is possible to get, I could walk into any public building or palace anywhere and in fact was a regular visitor to Buckingham Palace and the queen mothers apartments.
I mention this only to show that I was truly an honest person, but I fell in love with the wrong lady who succeeded in reducing me to a meek mouse too frightened to even squeak.
So can I use this vague accusation that cannot be proved in our forthcoming divorce that I have instigated as well as the missing money.
Can I mention the fact that she has numerous private pensions amounting to many thousands of pounds as well as so many ISA's that I could paper a room with the certificates.
I am a this moment totally penniless, I have no access to any funds, I have not had a meal of any substance in over two months, I cannot buy desperately needed medications after suffering two strokes directly caused by my wife's actions. My health is degenerating daily and she will do nothing to help.
Please help me, what can I do?
Thanks in advance.
Gerry
