child abuse claims

[helpme2012]

hi there im a newbie where and if i out this is the wrong forum group please please forgive me.

im looking for some advise really not to sure how this work ect ect but any help and advice would be gratefully.

my brother who is 27 now was abused for nearly 3 years from the sage of 12 to the age of 15 years old he was raped and forced into having sex ect ect he stared having mental health problems and we did not know why we recently found out this was due to him being abused at a young age we recently spoke about this he has a few different mental disorders all linked to children being abused this was 14 years ago now though and his cpn nurse said he might be aloe to get come sort of compensation fro this but were not too sure legally how he might stand its very difficult for him to talk about ever time time its mentioned he try ti kill himself hence why we scared to go to the police and have it all dragged up again as the effect it has on his mental state is very unwise and the person who did it moved away years ago

anyone might be able to help would be very much appreciated

[labman]

Re: child abuse claims

If he possibly can, you must go to the police with him. They have very highly trained specialists who will deal with him very sensitively.

It is important that the person who comitted these vile crimes is brought to book in order to stop them doing it to anyone else. Just think how much suffering your brother could stop by trying to build up the courage to go to the police. It may be possible to contact the police without your brother's knowledge initially to discuss the best way forward.

There is a very highly skilled retired policeman on here who I'm sure will be along soon to help you with this.

[bluebottle]

Re: child abuse claims

Okay Help Me,

I've read your post. Your brother's mental health problems are almost certainly connected with what happened to him during his childhood and teenage years. I've met people in mental health units who have suffered sexual abuse as children/teenagers.

The person who did this to your brother needs to be caught before he/she damages anymore children and young people. Paedophiles are very cunning, devious and, above all, dangerous individuals.

The offences committed against your brother are amongst the most serious there are under English Criminal Law; at least one offence you mention is a Schedule One offence, which are the most serious offences. Although the offences occurred some years ago and are, by legal definition, historic offences, the police can investigate them and, as I have already said in this post, stop the individual concerned damaging anymore children and teenagers. If you would like to send a PM to me and let me know which part of the UK you are in, I will find out who you need to contact in your local police area and get the ball rolling.

If it is any comfort, when William Goad, a prolific paedophile who abused 1,000s of children and young people, was caught and put on trial at Plymouth Crown Court, other victims came forward and Goad is now in prison and unlikely to ever see the outside world again. His only way out will be in a private ambulance and a wooden box.

PM me and I'll guide you through what you and your brother need to do.

Bluebottle

[helpme2012]

Re: child abuse claims

thanks for the help and advice xxx

[Bill-K]

Re: child abuse claims

What I have to say may be 'apocryphal,' but I need to say it, as this thread struck a chord. A few years back, a very close friend of mine had a sudden visit from their daughter's Head Teacher and Guidance teacher. She was in her mid-teens, and had admitted that she had been raped by a boy at about age 11. She kept it to herself, as this boy was the son of family friends, and she was confused and scared, because she didn't want to be the cause of a 'rift.' She was just 11, and was so dependent on family love and friendships for her own security.

Her father was - and still is - a complete jerk, and he had NO idea of this. Sure - I guess he saw those pre-pubescent mood-swings, and put it down to hormones. He accepted his position as the token male face on the imaginary dartboard, and just 'trod water' until the storms blew over. So - when he was confronted by this - he was completely 'Jeremy Kyled' by it.

Being the soft jerk he was, he left the shotgun broken and empty, and the kitchen knives in the kitchen, and did his best to stay calm. He hugged his daughter, and asked her gently if she wanted to tell him anything about the 'incident.' She did. She was more concerned about the family friendship, than for herself, and pleaded that we leave the matter where it was. She had had her innermost privacy invaded, and her innocent youth taken from her. The school had been obliged to call in the Police, and she needed to decide whether to take the matter further.

Her dad was in 'killer' mode, but being a softie, he seemed to recognise the need for a violated woman to retain whatever privacy she had left. Idiot ? I really don't know. Perhaps he should have killed the jerk - or cut him off without a baubie. He felt that his daughter had been deprived of so many choices she should have been able to make, that the final choice should NOT be taken away from her by her father. Abdication of parental responsibility ? He's wrestling with that to this day.

Anyway, they got a coupla visits from the Police. And this is where I need to make myself clear. They were NOT big burly 'Bluebottles' with handcuffs and whistles. They were ladies - in every sense of the word. Plain-clothed, and clearly experienced in their job. In the end, they gently left the option open to name the guy and pursue him, or to just leave it. She chose not to go any further, but she still received help. She still has 'anger management' issues to this day - but we usually laugh them off afterwards. At least I understand why she has them, now.

I'm a taxi driver and we rarely see eye-to-eye with the Police, but in matters like this, I have to say that I admire the work of the dedicated units in this respect.

We all have these stories, don't we? Sorry - I had to spill my guts here. Sympathy for HelpMe, and support for Bluebottle.

Final word - My opinion, only. DO NOT take the choice away from the victim - it's all they have left. But - help them to make that choice.

[bluebottle]

Re: child abuse claims

Thanks for your post, Bill. I had admiration when I was on the force and still do have admiration for the officers who run the Sexual Crimes Units. They are a breed all of their own - sensitive, non-judgmental, caring. I could go on.

HelpMe, below you will see some links. These are organisations who can help your brother. Please get in touch with them, but, above all, please tell the police.

Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority (CICA) - Justice
AEST (Survivors Group) - Adult Sexual Abuse Survivors Support and Information for childhood sexual abuse survivors
MIND - Mind, For better mental health | Mind
SurvivorsUK - Welcome to the Frontpage
Mankind UK - Male rape, sexual assault, sex abuse support men uk - Mankind UK
AMSOSA - © Adult Male Survivors Of Sexual Abuse in the UK

[labman]

Re: child abuse claims

Thanks Bill. It's not the first time I've said it, but you have a way with words that goes beyond anyone else on this site. It is unique, and touches heart strings.

As always, very wise as well - thanks.