Caught shoplifting, need sincere advice and help

[Babloo]

A few days ago, I was caught shoplifting at an M&S store. I didn’t leave with the items, I was stopped by a member of staff after she realised I entered the fitting room with various items and left the fitting rooms with absolutely none. (Nobody was operating fitting rooms, the worker was on the shop floor, it was nearly closing time). she asked me ‘where are all those items you had’ and ‘I replied are they not left in the fitting room? let me have a look’. I walked back to the fitting room - she followed me closely. At this point I decided I will empty my bag in the fitting room and be honest and return everything to her - which I did. I handed all the items back to her. What worries me is I feel she was making a video of me emptying my bag on her personal phone as it was raised in my direction at which point I asked her not to record me. She said she needs to take a pic then asked me for a picture which I refused but she claimed it was protocol and I allowed her to take it. At this point I was physically shaken up and took a few mins in the fitting room to breathe whilst another member of staff came and the lady went on the shop-floor and mentioned to her there was a shoplifter (me) in the fitting room and said ‘she was going to leave with all these items (which was mostly lingerie adding up to nearly £200) in her bag and I stopped her, I rang for security and nobody responded and I was the only one here.’

I walked out of the fitting room and asked to see my pic. I panicked and asked if it would go on social media or on the shop-floor/doors and she said ‘no this pic will be sent to all our security immediately and they will notify all our stores about you. They will check CCTV and You will be banned for life for shoplifting.’ I apologised profusely and left the store. No ID was taken off me; they didn’t ask for my name or address, I worried that my work badge would be in the pic but it wasn’t. I was met with no security (only dealt with by 2 workers on the shop floor) and not taken to any backroom.

Now here is the curveball, I have taken items from the same M&S store in the past, it started off by me not having much money and wanting to buy a nice present for my niece. It then became more frequent when I realised ‘I can just walk out with these items in my bag for free’. I have taken stuff from this exact store before but only been caught this one time (or so I think - they could have been looking out for me and maybe thats why the lady identified me so quickly?)

I am genuinely grateful for having been caught as I am ashamed of the monster I had become. I needed this lesson to make a sincere intention to STOP this newly formed bad habit and I must say that the way in which I was stopped involved no humiliation in front of customers; no security or police (or at-least i hope and pray) at the time.

My Questions are the following:

1. What will happen with my picture regarding in store, security and police involvement?
2. Does M&S have facial recognition and would security automatically be able to see any previous times I have shoplifted because that would be very serious and they could build a case from that
3. How long will the ban be? Am I banned if zero documentation was given to me about it or if it wasn’t given to me in writing?
4. Should I be expecting anything in the post?
5. Can running my pic through a system match my face on legal docs and automatically give police all my details?
6. Will police knock on my door and check my house for shoplifted items if they are provided with all CCTV footage of me shoplifting at M&S?
7. Is it best to clear my house of any items and giving them to a charity?
8. The M&S I shoplifted from was in a large shopping centre, will my pic be circulated in all shops in the centre?
9. Will my pic be on any police or news page for the public to identify me seen as the worker didn’t ask my name or for any ID?

I have literally eaten just about one meal in the last 4 days and cant sleep. I am in the process of costing the items ive nabbed which are now used and giving that sum to charity - I feel so sick. I work in the Education sector and am having nightmares about losing my job and going to prison. I cant make eye contact with anyone as I feel like they know what I’ve done. I have promised I will never shoplift again, I know i’ll stick to that promise. With the way I’m struggling with my mental health because of it, I will never go back to it. Every knock on the door - I think its the police. I imagine myself being handcuffed whilst the police check my house and find anything ive taken and then being taken down to the station whilst my family watch in shock and disgust. My elderly parents would be heartbroken. Just not being able to tell anyone of my awful secret is eating me alive. I feel like I am waiting to be arrested. I will just be going about my day then I remember what happened and get a huge lump in my throat. Please - anyone considering shoplifting - dont do it, its not worth it and it is plain wrong - learn from me and the way I’m suffering.

Please can someone answer my questions and put a rest to my overthinking brain which feels like it is going to explode any minute. I am seriously out of tears and out of hours to think anymore.

[echat11]

Hi BABLOO

Welcome to LB


My Questions are the following:

1) What will happen with my picture regarding in store, security and police involvement?

They might put it on their stores database. I say might because they took no details, didn't call the police, security wasn't involved, just a random picture taken by a member of staff, maybe just to scare you.

2) Does M&S have facial recognition and would security automatically be able to see any previous times I have shoplifted because that would be very serious and they could build a case from that

If they have, they could, but they took no details and they don't know who you are / they have no personal details..

3) How long will the ban be? Am I banned if zero documentation was given to me about it or if it wasn’t given to me in writing?

You've not received a 'Trespass Notice', - https://davidhencke.com/2021/08/05/e...them-for-life/

4) Should I be expecting anything in the post?

No, they took no details.

5) Can running my pic through a system match my face on legal docs and automatically give police all my details?

The technology exits for doing that, but they need to establish that you did something,there isn't a 'report' of what happened. They also need to adhere to Data Protection laws.

6) Will police knock on my door and check my house for shoplifted items if they are provided with all CCTV footage of me shoplifting at M&S?

Again, they do not have your details.

7) Is it best to clear my house of any items and giving them to a charity?

That's an idea, but that's up to you.

8) The M&S I shoplifted from was in a large shopping centre, will my pic be circulated in all shops in the centre?

There are such schemes in place, go into some local shops, see if you are noticed.

9) Will my pic be on any police or news page for the public to identify me seen as the worker didn’t ask my name or for any ID?

I very much doubt it, as the employee says, they have protocols, did the employee follow protocols? was she even in a position to do what she did? shouldn't she have called security? and shouldn't they have dealt with the matter?

Just as rule, when dealing with the police, always ask for the duty solicitor, so they can protect your rights.

Stop worrying and get on with your day to day activities. Update the thread if anything happens.

[Babloo]

HI ECHAT11

Thank you for answering my queries in such detail. Day 5 since the incident and still received nothing. Should I keep a low profile and avoid going to that shopping centre? If so, how long for? I am petrified that they have identified previous footage of me leaving with items and are just waiting for me to return to shop at the centre and make an arrest. The security may have notified all other stores in the centre about me? is that likely?

Nothing thus far has happened externally about this but internally my mind is doing overtime. and no, i was given no documentation regarding a ban, the worker just orally mentioned it. Does that mean I am not really banned? Or does that mean that I am on their database now and the facial recognition on CCTV will help security immediately identify me if I am there again leading me to be taken to a back room seen as the worker didnt get my details last time?

Is it store policy to contact police of any shoplifting incidents and will the footage be sent to them? Or is there no police involvement if they were not called during the incident?

So sorry, these are my thoughts every day since the incident

[echat11]

a) Should I keep a low profile and avoid going to that shopping centre?

I would if you can, especially as the employee think's she's passed the Met's training course and will be keen to prove herself. O.K. say you go there today, all they will do is ask you to leave.

b) If so, how long for? I am petrified that they have identified previous footage of me leaving with items and are just waiting for me to return to shop at the centre and make an arrest.

I don't think they will bother, it's not as straightforward as that, 'manpower' is an issue, even if they have the technology and the will to do it.

c)The security may have notified all other stores in the centre about me? is that likely?

Because the correct protocols haven't been followed, very unlikely.

d) Nothing thus far has happened externally about this but internally my mind is doing overtime. and no, i was given no documentation regarding a ban, the worker just orally mentioned it.

Calm down, exactly that, no letter, no details given, protocols not followed, etc.

e) Does that mean I am not really banned? Or does that mean that I am on their database now and the facial recognition on CCTV will help security immediately identify me if I am there again leading me to be taken to a back room seen as the worker didnt get my details last time?

Banned for what, no details taken, no report made, they normally ask you to sign the report. You just need to calm down, go about your day to day activities. If anything materializes update the thread. Whenever you start thinking about it, distract yourself.

[Babloo]

ECHAT11, you should be a therapist!

Met’s training course
So you are telling me it is very unlikely for them to do a check on me and find previous incidents?

I will keep a low profile for at least a month, I’ll try my best not to attract any attention and I have already sworn an oath that the incident marks the end of my shoplifting days!

Thank you for your responses so far, I already feel a tad better!

[echat11]

ECHAT11, you should be a therapist!

Met’s training course
So you are telling me it is very unlikely for them to do a check on me and find previous incidents?

I will keep a low profile for at least a month, I’ll try my best not to attract any attention and I have already sworn an oath that the incident marks the end of my shoplifting days!

Thank you for your responses so far, I already feel a tad better!

It is very unlikely, keep a low profile, distract yourself, have a good day.

[Babloo]

Thank you so much but just one more annoying question from me which i cant get off my mind. Is it retail store policy to contact police of any shoplifting incidents and will the footage be sent to them? Or is there no police involvement if they were not called during the incident itself?

[echat11]

a) Is it retail store policy to contact police of any shoplifting incidents and will the footage be sent to them?

They can do, but you didn't actually leave the store with any goods, they have no details.

b) Or is there no police involvement if they were not called during the incident itself?

As above.

[Babloo]

Ok so just an update. Yesterday I went to Manchester Arndale shopping centre with my sister and nieces. I had to walk through M&S to return to the car park. Although this is not the store in which the incident happened, I was shaking in my boots. My heart was trembling when I tell you that I was having imaginations of security recognising me and taking me to the back room. Thankfully I was only there for around 50 seconds and nothing of the sort happened. I haven't received anything as of yet and am learning to breathe a bit more with each day.