I shoplifted

[malibu11]

It is stressful to even write this but last week I got caught shoplifting. I’m not going justify it or make excuses. I knew what I was doing. It was in sainsburys and amounted to £16. I basically didn’t pay for 3 food items, basic stuff, butter, hot chocolate.. I am really upset with myself and can hardly bare to think about it. I feel a deep burning shame and anger at myself.. So stupid. I have two questions, firstly it has been 11 days and I have not yet received a RLP letter. I presume I definitely will, it is a case of when and not if? I am very anxious about intercepting this letter as I do not want my husband to see it. He is very on the ball, so he would absolutely notice some formal letter with even a discreet logo on it. He would directly ask me what it was, if he didn’t “accidentally” open it, if I was out. I am literally losing sleep over this. There is no way I can tell him. When the letter comes I will just have to pay whatever ridiculous amount they ask for, as I can’t have a succession of scary letters arriving monthly for me.
Secondly, the police were not called. Will my name or images be passed on to them? I have a family member training in the force, so that would be pretty mortifying.
I am banned from the store for life. It could have been worse, M&S or Waitrose would have been a real loss!
Finally thank you to Des8 and amethyst for your non judgemental responses on all the many posts I have read. There is no one I could even consider telling this to, so this site has been a bit of a saviour.

[wales01man]

A mistake often made by many no need to stress next tell your husband no sense in hiding the facts some of us have held back from telling wife/husband about things they need not withold . I hid the truth about our debts for a long time when i let it all out i found as everyone does they will support you.

RLP may send demands advice is to ignore they are just trying it on with scary words .come back for advice if they do.

Pleas dont let this get you down its a mistake once made not intenseionally

[des8]

I think you will find Sainsbury's use DWF and not RLP for (un)civil recovery.

As advised by Wales01man, really recommend considering telling your husband, who should support you.
Who hasn't made a mistake at sometime or other, it was not the crime of the century
The keeping of secrets only increases feelings of guilt and anxiety, and this is such a small incident IMO it's not worth concealing it from nearest and dearest

Re the ban for life ..... unlikely you will be remembered in a few months time, and if you are spotted there all they can do is ask you to leave. If you refuse they could use force to eject you.

[echat11]

I think you should tell your husband, but maybe you need to be creative (if you can't face telling him), say something like 'you weren't feeling well, so just had to get some air, unfortunately as you weren't thinking, you left without paying', I'm sure he will understand. (by the way I'm denying all knowledge of my post).

Just to add, don't pay the invoice, they got the products back, they won't give a breakdown of costs, any costs will be day to day - normal running costs of their business. There are no costs and no invoice to pay.

[malibu11]

I think you will find Sainsbury's use DWF and not RLP for (un)civil recovery.

As advised by Wales01man, really recommend considering telling your husband, who should support you.
Who hasn't made a mistake at sometime or other, it was not the crime of the century
The keeping of secrets only increases feelings of guilt and anxiety, and this is such a small incident IMO it's not worth concealing it from nearest and dearest

Re the ban for life ..... unlikely you will be remembered in a few months time, and if you are spotted there all they can do is ask you to leave. If you refuse they could use force to eject you.

thank you for your reply. How long do you think I will have to wait for this letter?
Does the fine reflect the amount taken?
Will my name be given to the police?
I really don’t want to tell my husband. He is a stressed person, we have just spent a fortune on (failed ) IVF and he then lost his job. He has another job now but he doesn’t need this added stress of what I have done. I would feel embarrassment in telling him.

[malibu11]

I think you should tell your husband, but maybe you need to be creative (if you can't face telling him), say something like 'you weren't feeling well, so just had to get some air, unfortunately as you weren't thinking, you left without paying', I'm sure he will understand. (by the way I'm denying all knowledge of my post).

Just to add, don't pay the invoice, they got the products back, they won't give a breakdown of costs, any costs will be day to day - normal running costs of their business. There are no costs and no invoice to pay.

Thank you. How many letters will I get? I just want it to arrive, waiting on the post each day is stressful

[echat11]

Thank you. How many letters will I get? I just want it to arrive, waiting on the post each day is stressful

Normally it's 3 letters (I believe the envelopes will be unmarked, as not to embarrass the recipient, but not a 100% sure).

I know you've asked Des8, but:

How long do you think I will have to wait for this letter?

About a couple of weeks, distract yourself when you start thinking about this, watch TV, listen to music, bake, etc but not all at the same time.

Does the fine reflect the amount taken?

No, it will be more, but they can't justify the amount and they know they can't.

Will my name be given to the police?

No. To be honest, the police has a lot on their plates.

Update the thread for support, if you receive anything.

[des8]

As Echat11 says the demand will be for an amount bearing no relationship to the value of the items.
Currently they seem to be demanding something between £150 to £200

Normally first demand arrives within two weeks, but have had reports of it being three months!

Sorry to hear of your other problems, but trust you will overcome them together.

[malibu11]

Normally it's 3 letters (I believe the envelopes will be unmarked, as not to embarrass the recipient, but not a 100% sure).

I know you've asked Des8, but:

How long do you think I will have to wait for this letter?

About a couple of weeks, distract yourself when you start thinking about this, watch TV, listen to music, bake, etc but not all at the same time.

Does the fine reflect the amount taken?

No, it will be more, but they can't justify the amount and they know they can't.

Will my name be given to the police?

No. To be honest, the police has a lot on their plates.

Update the thread for support, if you receive anything.

Ok thank you

[malibu11]

Normally it's 3 letters (I believe the envelopes will be unmarked, as not to embarrass the recipient, but not a 100% sure).

I know you've asked Des8, but:

How long do you think I will have to wait for this letter?

About a couple of weeks, distract yourself when you start thinking about this, watch TV, listen to music, bake, etc but not all at the same time.

Does the fine reflect the amount taken?

No, it will be more, but they can't justify the amount and they know they can't.

Will my name be given to the police?

No. To be honest, the police has a lot on their plates.

Update the thread for support, if you receive anything.

The letter came yesterday. It had a massive red DWF logo on it, it was not discreet at all fortunately I was home alone when it arrived. I think I will just have to pay the fine (£150) as I do t think I can ride out the stress of numerous letters coming.
I am feeling better in myself. It was stupid, I am very sorry and know that I would never do it again.

[echat11]

The letter came yesterday. It had a massive red DWF logo on it, it was not discreet at all fortunately I was home alone when it arrived. I think I will just have to pay the fine (£150) as I do t think I can ride out the stress of numerous letters coming.
I am feeling better in myself. It was stupid, I am very sorry and know that I would never do it again.

It's not a fine, it's a speculative invoice, the invoice is outlandished, they can't justify any of the costs. Don't pay it.

[malibu11]

It's not a fine, it's a speculative invoice, the invoice is outlandished, they can't justify any of the costs. Don't pay it.

I know. I just can’t cope with how many more letters will come, then bailiff demands. It’s too stressful. If I lived alone, may be. If I pay it, it goes away..

[des8]

Obviously it is your choice whether or not to pay, and your decision is based on your own situation.

Generally we advise against paying it as there is no legal basis for their charges.
By paying it the companies who send out these demands are encouraged to continue their extortionate practice on other (often innocent) victims

I think DWF send three letters

[echat11]

I know. I just can’t cope with how many more letters will come, then bailiff demands. It’s too stressful. If I lived alone, may be. If I pay it, it goes away..

We are here, ignore the letters, they go away. There has never ever been 'bailiffs' involved to the best of my knowledge.
RLP a company who has similar practices lost in Court because they could not justify anything on their speculative invoices.
But as Des says, it's your choice, but we are here for support.

[malibu11]

Obviously it is your choice whether or not to pay, and your decision is based on your own situation.

Generally we advise against paying it as there is no legal basis for their charges.
By paying it the companies who send out these demands are encouraged to continue their extortionate practice on other (often innocent) victims

I think DWF send three letters

I guess the 3 letters will come very 3 weeks as it says to pay within 2 weeks and that they have 6 years in which they can pursue costs following an event. I’m sure I read on here after these letters bailiff letters from an agency will start?