Arguments over funeral arrangements

[Witsend1]

Help , need urgent advice please . My uncle recently died ( his wife died 20 years ago). I saw him in hospital as he was being discharged and he was on sound health and mind and told me when his time comes he wanted a simple cremation. No family , no friends , no flowers and his remains scattered in the garden of remembrance. In his Will he only mentioned he wanted to be cremated. He died 2 weeks after seeing him in hospital. At his home he had a few simple cremation leaflets and there phone number written down. Sadly he did not sign up one. Now the family want me to go against his wishes and arrange a full blown funeral. It’s causing terrible arguments as I do not want to go against his wishes. I keep telling the family it’s not what they want it’s what he wants. It’s not their funeral it’s his. They are now calling me a liar. This is so unfair. I have nothing to gain and this is stressing me out. Now I know why he didn’t want anyone at the funeral. What fo
i do ? Go against his wishes or do what they want ?

[des8]

Condolences on the loss of your uncle

In a way you are right in that it is not what the family want, however neither is it what your late uncle wants. (even funeral directions in a will aren't binding on the executors)
If you are the one arranging the funeral it is what you want!

Why not try a compromise such as low level cremation with possibly only the closest relatives (if any) with a memorial service at a later date to which they can all contribute?

Good luck

[atticus]

Thankfully I have never been involved in a dispute of this nature, but I have always thought that a funeral is for those left behind, so that they may remember the person who has died, celebrate their life, and say goodbye.

[dslippy]

Everything above is correct.

Whoever arranges it has the last say. They make a contract with the funeral director. The director's bill is not directly a debt of the estate, but the executor has the right to choose to pay all (or part) of it.

[Witsend1]

Thank you.

[Witsend1]

[QUOTE=des8;n1628376]Condolences on the loss of your uncle

In a way you are right in that it is not what the family want, however neither is it what your late uncle wants. (even funeral directions in a will aren't binding on the executors)
If you are the one arranging the funeral it is what you want!

Why not try a compromise such as low level cremation with possibly only the closest relatives (if any) with a memorial service at a later date to which they can all contribute?

Good luck

thank you but now they know that none of them are in the Will they don’t want anything to do with the funeral

[atticus]

Problem solved!

[Witsend1]

Can I pick your brains over something else please .

i am dealing with probate but there are so many forms and government website is out of date. They send you on a wild goose chase. Telling you need forms you clearly don’t. What I would like to know are what forms are required.

total estate is £425,000 so need to utilise nil inheritance tax from uncles deceased wife

no inheritance tax to pay

no children

can you tell what forms I need to complete please Thank you

[dslippy]

Can I suggest that you start another tread in the wills and probate forum.

[Witsend1]

Ok thank you