community harassment

[greyfur]

I started this in the Welcome section, and although a member gave some helpful advice, I am desperate for more. The problem is badly affecting my health and has left me feeling suicidal. I have tried everywhere for help with no success. Firstly, some years ago, I suspect that a member of staff at a solicitor's involved in a will contest, leaked out untruthful information about me, concerning my mental health and it has been spread to the community, also, details of how I inherited my home, which has caused jealousy. Since then, I have had various incidents occur, some of which have made me concerned for my welfare and the security of my home. I have reported my concerns to the police a number of times. They investigated nuisance phone calls and said they had come from neighbours, but regard the other events as inconsequential, even though I have been followed on a couple of occasions and a confidential appointment I was asked to attend, was leaked to strangers. How can I get people to mind their own business and leave me alone? I have already been through a tough few years where I could have died. I just want to be left alone. I have tried to explain things to some neighbours but it seems to make the problem worse. Who is your friend and who is your enemy? Advice gratefully received.

[ostell]

Starting another thread will not get you any more answers, just a lot of members annoyed at having their time wasted

[greyfur]

I am sorry Ostell if this has annoyed you. Unfortunately, I think I my be posting in the wrong area and can't find any help with this. I don't want to waste anyone's time. I would just like some advice and/opinion.

[ostell]

All your other threads are in the welcome section

[echat11]

You need compelling evidence for the police to act, firstly personal security / safety. Get a body cam, wear at all times. Ask the police what personal security devices are 'acceptable', i.e. a personal security alarm etc. Have your house kitted out with alarm, sensors, CCTV, answerphone etc. The neighbors want you to feel 'uncomfortable', the more comfortable you are, the less they will bother you, because what they are doing isn't working. Be 'overly happy', greet everyone.

[greyfur]

Thank you ECHAT11 for your reply. I did put up CCTV notices but that did not help; I think it attracted more attention. I would be interested to know if members think a neighbour may be to blame for the problems. This person befriended me following my bereavement and took me under their wing. Believing I could trust them, I confided in them with some confidential information and they were kind, understanding and helpful. However, they always seem to want to know where I am going, where I shop, etc. and I have noticed that I have been spoken to as if I have some kind of mental disability when shopping as a customer in some local businesses. Then on one occasion, this neighbour suggested doing some building work which could have had serious consequences for my property and I refused. So is it payback? Also, I got talking to an old friend of my late uncle's who happens to be married. We do not socialise and just engage in chat on the off chance we meet. Since that has happened, I have been plagued by unwanted male attention from those passing my property. One member here suggested that a malicious rumour associated with this may have been put out about me. Advice and opinions welcomed, please. Many thanks.

[islandgirl]

Gossip can be upsetting but is not a crime. If someone broke your confidence that is horrible but again nota crime. The advice given above is good - CCTV (not just a sign), log any actual incidents etc. Be overtly happy. You say the neighbour wants to know where you are going etc. Do not tell them anything but politely ask them to back off. Noone is that interested in you in the neighbourhood it just feels like it. Be happy and comfortable, keep the bad people out of your life and they will all move on. Good luck.

[greyfur]

Thank you so much ISLANDGIRL for your reply. Just posting on here and getting a bit of support and advice is really helpful, however, you say that no one in my neighbourhood is that interested in me. Well, this problem has been going on for almost three years. I DO believe that someone has put out to the neighbourhood and community that I have a mental health condition and/or, I am vulnerable, therefore, I am being kept "an eye on", both at home and sometimes when out. The problem is, how can I put a stop to it? Some of the "watchers" are carers, nhs workers, covid 19 volunteers, Royal Mail staff, etc. A care co-ordinator I spoke to in confidence, asked me what post office I used, which I found puzzling, and I have been spoken to as if I have some kind of mental impairment by post office staff???!!!! HELP!!!

[islandgirl]

You are welcome to our support and we will help if we can. My only suggestion is a friendly well written letter to the local post office, doctors surgeries etc saying that they may have been misinformed and although you appreciate that they are being kind and helpful there is absolutely no need to keep an eye on you or to treat you in any special way, Thank them for their concern and wish them well. Then distribute it everywhere

[greyfur]

Thank you ISLANDGIRL. I have tried the writing method with little success and this is why I believe someone has put it out there, that I don't really know what I am doing: i.e: I have a mental health impairment. I recently spoke to a neighbour who I don't speak with very often about these problems. They actually likened me to another neighbour who has special needs who often has pranks played on him! Therefore, what do I expect? I know from recent incidents, that I suspect an elaborate prank to make me question my mental state of health has taken place. Certain incidents have happened, one involving a police officer. I gave the Police a time and date this occurred, but they say they do not have a record of it. One friend has suggested that a jealous, angry individual is behind this harassment, due to them not benefitting from a will in which I was the sole beneficiary. Have other members experience of being harassed due to inheritance?

[YoHoHowdy]

you can confide in your GP. Make an appointment with your GP and tell the GP everything. at the very least your GP will find someone for you to talk to about all this who will definitely keep it to themselves and will help you.

[greyfur]

Thanks YOYOHOWDY for your reply. Unfortunately I have tried this, but the two GPs I spoke to did not welcome long stories and dismissed it all. One of the reasons I posted on this site was to try and find help from members who may have experienced this type of harassment. It isn't something a doctor will get involved with. Thank you all for your replies and suggestions.

[islandgirl]

There is no legal way forward in this case in my view. The only thing you can do is ignore, ignore and ignore some more. Be happy and polite to everyone and if they speak to you in a "different" way speak back to them normally. Good luck.

[greyfur]

Thanks ISLANDGIRL. I think that is good advice. I like your suggestion about speaking back to them normally!!! I have spoken with someone I could trust and confide in and their opinion is that the more attention I bring to it in the neighbourhood, the worse it will get, so your ignorance comment makes sense. If someone in the solicitor's I was using breached my confidentiality - and I have various incidents that have occurred which indicate she did - should I speak to the solicitor about it? It is a few years since this happened. I understand that slander cases can only be acted on within a certain time limit, so it would be too late now. Does anyone know if this is right? I spoke to this solicitor a while ago about breach of confidentiality, but it has taken time for more evidence to appear.

[greyfur]

An update in reply to yohohowdy. I wrote a letter to my GP, explaining the situation, followed by a conversation. She said I should talk to a mental health nurse. I spoke to her and she didn't know what to say because it isn't a mental health problem!!! I can only presume that legal advice is the next step. Since the the surgery received the letter, I've had even more attention. Two neighbours have friends who work there and the doctor says that everything is confidential. Really?