Cross undertaking and Christmas

[Forevermum]

Hi
briefly I was being controlled by my affair addict husband (now separated) in the end I had to leave my home for my own sanity and safety.

as soon as I left he applied for a non molestation and occupancy order, which was completely fabricated, and I gave evidence to the court.
Both his orders were dismissed and discharged.
We both signed cross undertakings for no contact.

However, I'm in one room in a shared house and he's living in our (joint mortgage) home.

this is my first Christmas not at home. He's already got Christmas Day planned and organised.

questions -
- Can an undertaking be varied so I can be with my children for Christmas dinner? It's not appropriate for them to be where I live.

- Does the undertaking expire? I can't see a date on it.
The original non mol was until February 2020.

many thanks

[2222]

I really cannot answer you, but I wish you all the best, and I hope that you get this sorted out. You need to think about what is best for your children. Is there any possibility of reconciliation? I am not convinced that your feeling miserable in a single room and missing your children is a good basis for reconciliation, though.

Or Are you expecting to divorce soon? That would be the opportunity to sort out the finances on a more or less permanent basis. You may find that whoever has the main custody of the children gets the house, though.

I assume that, if you have given cross undertakings to each other, You can agree between you to vary those. Even for a one day Christmas amnesty, any variation should be in writing- email should do. If your husband has Christmas planned, is he going to agree to a variation of the undertakings?

[Forevermum]

Thank you. I have started the divorce but it's not what I want to be honest. I'd prefer counselling and see if anything comes out of that. I still have strong feelings for him even after everything he's done.
He's already decided though. He pretty much showed that by having affairs. He's totally ghosting me now.
I haven't asked him yet, I thought I'd see if it's actually a legal possibility first. If it isn't then there's no point upsetting the apple cart.

[2222]

I sometimes think people rush into divorce without really giving counselling a chance, so I hope you do manage to try that. But I expect it needs both of you to want to try.

if you have a solicitor for the divorce, you should not do anything about the undertakings without checking with your solicitor. This is a complicated situation, and you really do need a solicitor if possible.

[OliverWilk]

I was wondering how are the deals right now? are u safe? btw, wishing all the best and merry xmas! This xmas I'm planning to spend with my best friend and her daughter, I have even prepared myself for explaining her daughter about Santa Claus' existence and where does the name santa claus come from, so I'm "fully armed" to spend this Xmas with a small child. I have even read the whole article about santa claus, to be honest, this story brings me back in childhood, so I do really have this special xmas mood!