Funeral arranged and completed without informing Family members!

[BernieUK]

Good evening all

My Mother in Law recently passed away. Her Son has done the following:

He did not inform his Sister that his Mother had died.

He went ahead and arranged the funeral without telling his Sister or letting her know any of the arrangements.

The funeral went ahead and his Sister or any other members of the family were not told when and where it was.

Certain wishes of the deceased for her funeral may have been ignored or not carried out.

The funeral was paid by a funeral plan. No details of this plan have been made known.

So, did "the son" do anything unlawful by these actions? Does his Sister (My Wife as you have guessed) have any legal redress?

[des8]

Hi and welcome

what a sad state of affairs.
Do your wife and brother in law not get along together?

Unfortunately there is nothing to be done, and nothing illegal has occurred.
Although generally the executor is primarily responsible for arranging the funeral, often a close relative will arrange it, but there would be no legal requirement to advise other relatives.
As the cost was covered by a funeral plan, there possibly was little to actually decide

Did your mother in law leave a will or pass away intestate?
As your brother in law acted without letting his sister know, is he likely to act in a similar manner towards the estate?
Is your wife considering applying for letters of administration if there is no will?

[BernieUK]

Thank you for the reply.

Yes, a very sad state of affairs. Hard to believe that some people act like this to members of their own family.

My Mother in Law made a will some 35 years ago. To the best of my knowledge she used a "will kit" and may not have used a solicitor. I was named as the executor of this will. The two witnesses have since died. Her "worldly goods" were to be divided equally between her son, daughter and her only grandchild. This will is in the possession of her son. When my Mother in Law had to be moved into a care home he took most of her belongings and any valuables for storage etc. He is very likely to act in a similar manner regarding her estate. During the early days of her being in a care home her son made sure everything she had - insurance policies etc was converted into money and deposited in her bank account. I believe the total sum was around £24000.00 - which was the limit allowed because of care home fees.

So, what I do now for the best I have no idea to be honest. My Wife is in very poor health and I am her full timer carer. The effect of all this is having a devastating effect on her.

Thank you again for the reply.

[des8]

As you know the son has the will, have you asked him to deliver it to you?
Is there a property included in your late mother in laws estate (which will mean probate will be required)?
Is the grandchild yours or your brother in law's? and how old is (s)he?

Are you concerned that he will act improperly in respect of the estate and perhaps claim the will has been somehow been destroyed?

Tagging Peridot

[BernieUK]

Thank you again!

I have not yet asked him to deliver the will to me. It is highly unlikely he is going to co-operate in any way. There is no property included in the will.

The Grandchild is my grown up son. He is married with a family of his own.

I would say there is a high possibility he will act improperly and would even claim the will has been destroyed.

[des8]

If the will has been destroyed it is possible (if the contents were known and there is other evidence available) to make application to the Court for documentary evidence of its contents to be accepted in its place.
However if the estate is small and probate not required it is probably not worth pursuing that avenue.

Assuming the will is no longer in existence the estate should be divided according to the strict rules of intestacy, which means your wife and her brother inherit equal shares.
However someone has to administer the estate.
It could be left to the brother, but your wife could apply for letters of administration.

However, you mention that your wife is in poor health, and the stress of dealing with this, the possible deterioration in her relationship with her brother, the tarnishing of her mother's memory, for what would seem to be a comparatively speaking small inheritance (£24,000 less what was spent whilst in care and expenses) might possibly cause you to consider if challenging him is worthwhile.

Wait until Peridot posts on here. Will probably not be until Monday

[Peridot]

Hi BernieUK,

How sad for you all. It is unbelievable how some people behave when close family members pass away. I would agree with everything that Des8 has already said. As far as any funeral arrangements are concerned, even wishes in Wills concerning arrangements are not legally binding I'm afraid. However if your MiL did take out a funeral plan then hopefully she stipulated what she wanted to the funeral directors so her wishes will have been followed. Funeral plans can be a comprehensive as you like, even to the point of choosing music and readings if you wish.

As you are potentially the executor if the Will is located you could be responsible for securing the assets so would be entitled to know where items have been stored for them to be valued if needs be. As executor you would also be responsible for securing any assets in addition to valuing them.

From the sounds of it there may be little or nothing other than the one bank account or are you aware of other accounts? Do you have a copy of the Will that was prepared? I would be inclined to ask your brother in law, maybe indicate you know there is a Will so can he hand it over as well as any keys to storage, as you are the executor. I suspect you may be correct and it may be denied there was ever a Will or that it has been destroyed previously. Did you ever have a copy? A copy can be used to obtain a Grant. Do you know if the care home fees were all up to date or did your MiL have any debts that would need sorting out.

Des8 has already suggested you may need to consider how much of a fight you want to deal with this. As far as you have indicated the estate is considered small and the cost of trying to either reinstate a 'lost' Will or fight the brother may well outweigh the benefit to your wife and son of being successful if any assets are eaten up in the legal process, I'm afraid.

Probably not what you want to hear but unless you have a copy of the original Will or your BiL produces the original you may have to take a decision whether to pursue this further. If you want to get some face to face advice on any possible options there are many law firms that will provide a fixed, free or reduced fee initial advice appointment. You would need to find a private client specialist to discuss this with.

Sorry it isn't as cut and dried as you and your wife would hope but here if you need any further guidance or support.