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Ex saddled me with huge debts and I am desperate, please help.

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  • Ex saddled me with huge debts and I am desperate, please help.

    I am really hoping that someone can assist me with the following issue, I am now beyond desperate for help. I will keep it as brief and to the point as I can:
    • I left my ex in 2009, he was abusive and controlling. It took me 3 years to gain the courage and plan to leave.
    • We were never married and have a son who is now 14 years old. He has Parental Rights.
    • We bought a property in 2004, that is jointly owned. There are payments that he has missed since I left.
    • I had to involve the police after leaving, due to bullying, harassment and him trying to snatch our son on one occasion.Not going into the full details, but he tampered with cars etc and threaten our lives. I had a restraining order placed against him
    • I had to move away from the area, due to the above, as even with the restraining order I did not feel safe, as he has no respect for the law or any moral respect.
    • He has refused me entry to the property ever since.
    • He left his full time employment in 2010/2011 to avoid paying any child maintenance and has worked for cash ever since.
    • He has repeatedly refused to discuss the flat.Except for a letter from his solicitors demanding a car I owned and saying he would buy me out, but when he didn’t get the car (it was worth £1500 and was my only car, but he felt entitled as he had worked on it) he refused to discuss the flat since.
    • He has rented out the flat over the years on and off and frequently lives at his mothers, although I believe he still uses the flat, that has no tenants in it now.
    • He has racked up debts to the water board to the tune of 4.5k as from last I heard.
    • He has not paid Council Tax for years and there is now a debt of 8.6k owed.
    • I have sought legal advice on selling the property and it will cost about 10k, money I do not have and there will not be sufficient equity in the property to cover this.
    • I now have both South West Water and Torbay Council harassing me for the above debts, as they cannot find him or get a response.They have been notified in the past that I no longer live there and they are aware of my dire situation.They do not give a hoot and I am aware that legally I am jointly liable, although they are both chasing me for the total debt.

    Please, what can I do? I have no real money and I earn less that 20k a year. I am frightened that they will take my car and the meagre items I own and force me to go bankrupt. I have fought hard to stay out of poverty and take care of my son, without his assistance and I am tired now and distressed. How can this be right or fair?
    Tags: None

  • #2
    Following, this is my post, I should have signed up to start with..

    Comment


    • #3
      Morning xxx

      It sounds like you did absolutely the right thing getting away with your son and making a life for yourselves without the toe rag- that's the important thing so please don't let money and, basically, admin, knock you backwards.

      The flat ownership needs sorting out, you're not expecting anything from it due to the lack of equity and now these huge bills that your ex simply hasn't bothered with. Your name is still on the mortgage ? Have those payments been kept up with do you know ? Any contact from mortgage company at all ? or just a few odd missed payments ( I mean that's not looking at repossession at the moment ?)

      Youve explained your your position to both the council and the water company and neither, disgustingly, give a stuff.

      Have you had any contact with Citizens Advice ? In your kind of case they can be really useful and good at getting the situation across to creditors/ council etc so they cease trying to take advantage of the vulnerable.

      Both could get a charge on the flat and force a sale. Which would solve a few problems really. They've chosen instead to come after you. Both know you haven't lived there in ten years and why you left. That's not fair.

      Presumably there is a ccj (water) and/or liability order ( council tax) in place if you're concerned about them taking your car ?

      Were the debts incurred before you left or since ?
      Was he claiming single resident discount after you left ?

      What's the exact latest position with both debts ?

      #staysafestayhome

      Any support I provide is offered without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

      Received a Court Claim? Read >>>>> First Steps

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Amethyst View Post
        Morning xxx

        It sounds like you did absolutely the right thing getting away with your son and making a life for yourselves without the toe rag- that's the important thing so please don't let money and, basically, admin, knock you backwards.

        Thank you, and thank you for your assistance

        The flat ownership needs sorting out, you're not expecting anything from it due to the lack of equity and now these huge bills that your ex simply hasn't bothered with. I know, its been a millstone for too long and my only hope of breaking free, I just dont know where to start without being able to pay for a solicitor. They might be enough equity to pay off some or all of the debt, depending on the condition etc.

        Your name is still on the mortgage ? Yes

        Have those payments been kept up with do you know ? He pays sporadically, but I need to speak to C&G to find out the recent status.

        Any contact from mortgage company at all ? or just a few odd missed payments ( I mean that's not looking at repossession at the moment ?)

        I am ashamed to say I have stuck my head in the sand for too long and not let them know where I now live, but I dont think it is at reposession stage yet, after checking my credit score a few months back.


        Youve explained your your position to both the council and the water company and neither, disgustingly, give a stuff.

        South West Water replied saying that they understood my situation, but as they cant contact him, they have to chase me. Although this one I am Happy to fight, they have less power than the council. Torbay Council totally ignored my letter. They left it since 2013 to contact me, they have only recently sent me bills dating back to 2013, with the whole sum lumped onto it.


        Have you had any contact with Citizens Advice ? In your kind of case they can be really useful and good at getting the situation across to creditors/ council etc so they cease trying to take advantage of the vulnerable.
        Not yet, my father who is a good business man has been helping by writing letters, but he is niave in the fact that he thinks these people have any scruples.
        Would I be classed as vunerable? I live with my partner and we are not on the bread line, we struggle sometimes, but we are not destitute.


        Both could get a charge on the flat and force a sale. Which would solve a few problems really. They've chosen instead to come after you. Both know you haven't lived there in ten years and why you left. That's not fair.
        South West Water have a CCJ and a charge order against the flat now. I only found out about it, after they applied for it


        Presumably there is a ccj (water) and/or liability order ( council tax) in place if you're concerned about them taking your car ?

        There is a CCJ against me for South West Water, but the car is not in my name any more. No liablilty order as of yet, the council have only just started on me. I am considering going bankrupt tbh, but the car is sentimental to me and I do not want to loose it. I have nothing else of value really and the car is only worth probably £1000-1500 maybe, as it is old, but tettering on classic. I know that if I go bankrupt the OR can go back and look at all the cars I have owned over the last 5 years and claim them or the money back. I have owned a few, but all less than 1k

        Were the debts incurred before you left or since ?
        Yes all since I left.

        Was he claiming single resident discount after you left ?
        No idea, although I doubt he even contacted them, he is useless with money and dealing with anything, I used to do it all.

        What's the exact latest position with both debts ?

        South West Water just keep sending massive bills and asking me to contact them urgently, but I have not communicated with them, sinceI wrote to them telling them I accept no responisbility, the situation and sending them a copy of the letter from when I first left.
        Torbay Council have sent a 7 day letter outlining that I will loose my right to their kind offer of two installments of over 4k, if I do not pay up.

        Can I ask the council to help by forcing the sale of the flat perhaps?

        Comment


        • #5
          If you were not living there, and presumably liable for and paying Council Tax elsewhere surely the council have no claim against you, only the person resident at the location? Have you told them that? If there had been tenants in the property then the tenants would have been liable.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by ostell View Post
            If you were not living there, and presumably liable for and paying Council Tax elsewhere surely the council have no claim against you, only the person resident at the location? Have you told them that? If there had been tenants in the property then the tenants would have been liable.
            Apparently there has been no one registered as living there since 2013, but I know he has been there on and off, he will sneak in and out early hours, he has strange habits and is more active in the night. Also looking up on the law, and speaking with a solicitor, I am jointly liable as I co own the property. Although if he has been 'living' there, then surely it should only be him that is liable?

            Comment


            • #7
              I have the backing of his Mother and his Brother in Law (his sister is not well, but I would have thought she would back me up too). Is there a document I can have drawn up to get him to sign the property over to me? If I went to him with this to sign, with my father present, and his brother in law and mother there, there is a small chance we might get him to co operate? I am not that scared of him now tbh, not that I would want to piss him off alone on a dark night. He is not well now, physically and mentally (from what I have been told), and I am much stronger in myself these days.

              And would I be able to get the council to back off until I sold the property and paid them what is left?

              Comment


              • #8
                Tell the council that you are registered elsewhere and that your ex has failed to register himself with the voting return.

                Comment

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