Child

[Londonhelp]

Hi
I was in a secret relationship for over 9 years and got a kid out of it
the problem I have is the whole thing was off the record and my name is not on the child's birth certificate or anywhere and she doesn't want my name on there I do get to see the child but just at her convience and mood.

I want my name on child's birth certificate and involvement in his life and up bringing and I think I'll have to take legal proceedings; where do I start? What are my options? I've got 101 "if and but" questions in my mind any advice would be helpful
thanks

[Amethyst]

https://www.gov.uk/adding-fathers-na...th-certificate - However you can't just do it - you'd need her to agree which sounds like it may be difficult. Has she given reason why she doesn't want your name on there ( is it 100% that the child is yours ?). Are you still in a relationship or is it solely now about the child ?

It is likely that mediation would be the best first step - to sort out what issues there are between you and what agreements you can come to without involving the courts. Look up family law mediation services near you.

If you can't agree you could ask the court for a Declaration of Parentage ( which could involve DNA tests etc ) which could result in your being added to the birth certificate and having parental responsibility.

You can then look into, if things haven't improved between you, a child arrangements order to have contact set by the court.

I don't want to know about the details of why it was a secret relationship, but bare in mind any court action is likely to make everything non-secret.

SandraF might have further thoughts.

[Londonhelp]

Thanks for your reply
she hasn't given any understandable reason why she doesn't want my name on there and the relationship is solely about the child now.
I doubt it she would agree on the meditation and I'm sure it's my child and I won't mind DNA tests carried out
thanks once again

[2222]

How old is your child now?

I ask because the court might want to ask your child what he/she wants, if he/she is old enough to be asked. A family expert would know how likely that would be.

[Londonhelp]

She turned 4 in August

[Setmefree3]

Unmarried fathers can acquire parental responsibility for their children in several different ways, depending on when their children were born. This procedure varies slightly depending on where you live in the UK. England & Wales

For children born before 1 December 2003

Unmarried fathers not listed on their child's birth certificate can get parental responsibility by:

• Marrying the mother of their child
• Obtaining a parental responsibility order from the court
• Entering into a parental responsibility agreement with the mother in the prescribed form and having it recorded at court
• Being appointed guardian upon the death of the mother
• Obtaining a residence order from the court

For children born after 1 December 2003

Unmarried fathers can get parental responsibility by:

• Doing any of the things mentioned above
• Registering the child's birth jointly with the mother at the time of birth - this is now quite common and many parents choose to do this
• Re-registering the birth if you are the natural father

[2222]

She turned 4 in August

A very sweet age. Too young to be dragged into court, fortunately.

[SandraF]

Hi Londonhelp, if you need to have your name registered on the child's birth certificate, you will need to show that you are the father. At present, because your name is not on the certificate you do not have PR for the child and PR is very important so you can make decisions for the child including schooling and medical issues and consent. You cannot just apply to the court for an order, you will need to follow procedure by first attending mediation and obtaining MIAM certificate before you can proceed to make the application. At the hearing, the court will ask for you attend GP and give a sample for DNA testing from an approved lab before they will make a decision regarding re-registration of the birth certificate. Good luck