Australian ventriloquist

[Kafka]

A ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a small outback village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Aussie: "Hey, mind if I talk to your dog?"

Aussie: "The dog doesn't talk, stupid!"

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

Dog: "Doin' all right."

Aussie: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me
to the creek once a week to play. "

Aussie: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse? "

Aussie: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either... I think. "

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool"

Aussie: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)

Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me
down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements in the winter.

Aussie: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Sweating Aussie: (in a panic) "The sheep's a bloody liar!"