sandy hook massacre

[labman]

Re: sandy hook massacre

I agree entirely. I was just pointing out that secure wards in normal hospitals and very secure units do exist still. Also the law exists for putting people into these places. It's the application of the law that's at fault.

[Celestine]

Re: sandy hook massacre

I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother

Liza Long
Three days before 20-year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year-old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.
"I can wear these pants," he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.
"They are navy blue," I told him. "Your school's dress code says black or khaki pants only."
"They told me I could wear these," he insisted. "You're a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!"
"You can't wear whatever pants you want to," I said, my tone affable, reasonable. "And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You're grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I will take you to school."
I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.
A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7- and 9-year-old siblings knew the safety plan—they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.
That conflict ended with three burly police officers and a paramedic wrestling my son onto a gurney for an expensive ambulance ride to the local emergency room. The mental hospital didn't have any beds that day, and Michael calmed down nicely in the ER, so they sent us home with a prescription for Zyprexa and a follow-up visit with a local pediatric psychiatrist.
We still don't know what's wrong with Michael. Autism spectrum, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around at various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He's been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood-altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. Nothing seems to work.
At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted to an accelerated program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the charts. When he's in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He's in a good mood most of the time. But when he's not, watch out. And it's impossible to predict what will set him off.
Several weeks into his new junior high school, Michael began exhibiting increasingly odd and threatening behaviors at school. We decided to transfer him to the district's most restrictive behavioral program, a contained school environment where children who can't function in normal classrooms can access their right to free public babysitting from 7:30 to 1:50 Monday through Friday until they turn 18.
The morning of the pants incident, Michael continued to argue with me on the drive. He would occasionally apologize and seem remorseful. Right before we turned into his school parking lot, he said, "Look, Mom, I'm really sorry. Can I have video games back today?"
"No way," I told him. "You cannot act the way you acted this morning and think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly."
His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. "Then I'm going to kill myself," he said. "I'm going to jump out of this car right now and kill myself."
That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands, or buts. I did not respond, except to pull the car into the opposite lane, turning left instead of right.
"Where are you taking me?" he said, suddenly worried. "Where are we going?"
"You know where we are going," I replied.
"No! You can't do that to me! You're sending me to hell! You're sending me straight to hell!"
I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waving for one of the clinicians who happened to be standing outside. "Call the police," I said. "Hurry."
Michael was in a full-blown fit by then, screaming and hitting. I hugged him close so he couldn't escape from the car. He bit me several times and repeatedly jabbed his elbows into my rib cage. I'm still stronger than he is, but I won't be for much longer.
The police came quickly and carried my son screaming and kicking into the bowels of the hospital. I started to shake, and tears filled my eyes as I filled out the paperwork—"Were there any difficulties with… at what age did your child… were there any problems with.. has your child ever experienced.. does your child have…"
At least we have health insurance now. I recently accepted a position with a local college, giving up my freelance career because when you have a kid like this, you need benefits. You'll do anything for benefits. No individual insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.
For days, my son insisted that I was lying—that I made the whole thing up so that I could get rid of him. The first day, when I called to check up on him, he said, "I hate you. And I'm going to get my revenge as soon as I get out of here."
By day three, he was my calm, sweet boy again, all apologies and promises to get better. I've heard those promises for years. I don't believe them anymore.
On the intake form, under the question, "What are your expectations for treatment?" I wrote, "I need help."
And I do. This problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes there are no good options. So you just pray for grace and trust that in hindsight, it will all make sense.
I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza's mother. I am Dylan Klebold's and Eric Harris's mother. I am Jason Holmes's mother. I am Jared Loughner's mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho's mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it's easy to talk about guns. But it's time to talk about mental illness.
According to Mother Jones, since 1982, 61 mass murders involving firearms have occurred throughout the country. Of these, 43 of the killers were white males, and only one was a woman. Mother Jones focused on whether the killers obtained their guns legally (most did). But this highly visible sign of mental illness should lead us to consider how many people in the U.S. live in fear, like I do.
When I asked my son's social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. "If he's back in the system, they'll create a paper trail," he said. "That's the only way you're ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you've got charges."
I don't believe my son belongs in jail. The chaotic environment exacerbates Michael's sensitivity to sensory stimuli and doesn't deal with the underlying pathology. But it seems like the United States is using prison as the solution of choice for mentally ill people. According to Human Rights Watch, the number of mentally ill inmates in U.S. prisons quadrupled from 2000 to 2006, and it continues to rise—in fact, the rate of inmate mental illness is five times greater (56 percent) than in the non-incarcerated population.
With state-run treatment centers and hospitals shuttered, prison is now the last resort for the mentally ill—Rikers Island, the LA County Jail and Cook County Jail in Illinois housed the nation's largest treatment centers in 2011.
No one wants to send a 13-year-old genius who loves Harry Potter and his snuggle animal collection to jail. But our society, with its stigma on mental illness and its broken healthcare system, does not provide us with other options. Then another tortured soul shoots up a fast food restaurant. A mall. A kindergarten classroom. And we wring our hands and say, "Something must be done."
I agree that something must be done. It's time for a meaningful, nation-wide conversation about mental health. That's the only way our nation can ever truly heal.
God help me. God help Michael. God help us all.

[labman]

Re: sandy hook massacre

It's time for a meaningful, nation-wide conversation about mental health. That's the only way our nation can ever truly heal.
God help me. God help Michael. God help us all.

Excellent Celestine thank you. I've only chosen the ending as the wording leapt out at me as so wrong. We need not only meaningful, nation-wide conversation, but we need it backed up swiftly by meaningful, nation-wide action about mental health. It's a shame they missed the opportunity to say that.

[enaid]

Re: sandy hook massacre

I think the statement below shows exactly the difference in our countries opinion on guns.
Lanzas mother said to be a good mum would take him to the shooting range, I think here we are more likely to take them to the golf range.
Also in the article it says how clever Lanza was, pushed by his mother academically. This showing again there maybe some truth in the saying 'Fine line between genius and madness'.



The gunman's aunt Marsha said her nephew, who lived in a large colonial-style home with his mother in Newtown, was raised by kind, nurturing parents who would not have hesitated to seek mental help for him if he needed it.
She described Nancy Lanza, a former stockbroker, as a good mother and kind-hearted. If her son had needed counselling, "Nancy wasn't one to deny reality," she said.
It was from Ms Lanza, though, that her son may have picked up his interest in guns. The 52-year-old was a gun enthusiast who used to take her sons to the shooting range with her.
She owned five weapons: two handguns, two traditional rifles and a semi-automatic, similar to ones used by soldiers in Afghanistan.

http://news.sky.com/story/1026201/ad...cially-awkward

[enaid]

Re: sandy hook massacre

Just putting aside for a minute the horror of the past, I would like us to think about the future for these families and all involved in this tragedy.
What made me think more on this was the dad that was talking about his two daughters in the school who were spared. His daughters he said have been told about the incident as best he can and that the bad man who did it was gone forever. He also said that his daughters never again want to attend school, while this is very understandable what does this mean for mum and dad?
I do hope that as well as the emotional side of things being helped in anyway people can that the practical side of life for the families will also be dealt with. We don't know if these parents both had jobs to keep a roof over their heads, we do know hard times are everywhere at present. It maybe months or even longer or if forever for some to get even halfway back to a normal life I just hope making ends meet will not be an extra burden placed on them in their extreme heartbreak.

[enquirer]

Re: sandy hook massacre

One also wonders how much the American lifestyle with its emphasis on self and consumerism contributes to the mindset of these shooters.

[scooter lady]

Re: sandy hook massacre

I visit a poetry site quite often and most people on there are American. I am horrified by the number of people on there that buy guns for their children. Why would any parent buy a gun for their child. I dont pretend to understand everyones culture but to then fly the flag of being a civilised society is a joke.

At that's now a good reason to pass a law that everyone should pass a test/exam whatever BEFORE they are allowed to reproduce, but it won't be done because the PC crowd will be crowing about human rights and all that sh ite.
I sincerly hope you don't mean that. x

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: sandy hook massacre

As you all know, I have friends and family in Canada, they are on the Canada/USA border, and my dear friend Joy is a teacher of 5th grade (9-10 years I think) kids.

She says this week all she has done is hug the kids, tell the that she loves them, and reassure them that "The bad man" won't come and get them. She has never known such frightened kids, and says that a lot of mums are having to stay until she has the kids engaged on a task because the children literally will not let go!

Canada have nearly as strict gun laws as us, with the exception being that if you live in Bear Country (which is a big problem over there) or you have a farm and need to do pest control, and you can prove this, your application for a licence is fast tracked, but you have to have referees, you have to have your home security checked, and you have to attend 6 monthly gun safety training.. and if you miss 2 in a row you have your licence revoked.

Also there is not the culture of "I have 5 guns you have 2" there is a respect for the gun and an understanding that yes, it is a nessessity but it is also very very deadly, and it is a normal thing for gun owners to have a gun room.. and a totally seperate ammo room just in case they have a break in!

[Celestine]

Re: sandy hook massacre

If anyone hasn't already seen it, I highly recommend watching 'Bowling for Columbine'. (2002)

Michael Moore did an excellent job way back then of highlighting all the issues we have mentioned, including a stark comparison of life either side of the US/Canada border.