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Hello peoples,,
As you know already,I am the youngest of 6 children born to a shortarse Matriarch Mum and ex policeman Dad,Dad didn't live at home with all of us,but we saw him all the time,he came back to live at the house when I was 12,for reasons I can't reveal.
Now,,picture the house,typical mid terrace,3 up,2 down,bathroom downstairs off kitchen (like that would be allowed nowadays) Actually,,thinking about it,the toilet was outside next to the coal shed and the walls knocked through to make a bathroom with a loo INSIDE !!,,We also had one of those loos where the cistern was 10ft in the air,,oh how the rich lived !!!
For a while my older sisters had the front room as their bedroom,not enough room upstairs and they didn't want to share with the younger ones. If they had a boyfriend round me and my sister K used to stand on windowsill in front garden and annoy them till they gave us 2 bob to bugger off lmao
I decided very early on that I didn't like sharing my bedroom with K,,I wanted to be near Mum,so bless her heart,Mum exchanged her big double bed for 2 singles and I moved in,and believe it or not I've never had my own bedroom since,always shared with someone (one time it was a bloody big dog!!)
So,time marches on,,the older siblings get married and moved out,the house became more roomy,and lo and behold,,Dad comes back,,but not to the marital bed (that had long gone) but to the middle bedroom,so my brother was in the back bedroom Dad in the middle and yet again K made the front room a bedroom.
We also had pets,,in particular our GSD Kim,beast of a boy,slept on my bed like a farting giant !! And our sleek slender black male cat,,RINGO (don't ask,,stupid name).
One weekend Lorraine was staying at ours,she was expecting and her husband was working away,Mum had had one her 'Van Gogh' moments and decided to paint the dining room,which was also the living room.So she slapped up her usual toxic concoction bought on the 'ask no questions'side of life.Stunk to high heaven but freshened up the walls (we all had fume fever but were told to stick heads out the window!)
So,,this Saturday night,,we all went to bed,,G in his back bedroom,Dad in middle,me Mum and the farting dog in the front bedroom and K downstairs with Lorraine as her lodger. Ringo the cat maraudering somewhere.
About 2am a very very dishevelled Lorraine comes storming into our room like a banshee,,long black hair all askew looking like Worzel Gummidge on acid !! Mum leapt out of bed thinking she was in labour,Lorraine charging round bedroom trying to get away from Mum who (as a midwife) was trying to grab her ankles and get her to brace for delivery,,Dad comes belting in,,vest and pants courtesy of Marks & Spencer (not a sight ANY child should witness,,I'm scarred,,I tell you).
Finally K appears in the mayhem and screams STOOOOOOOOOPPPPPP!!! which shocked everyone into silence.
Lorraine then explains her dilemma,,,she couldn't sleep with K,,cos she snores,she couldn't sleep with Dad or G for OBVIOUS reasons ,,she couldn't sleep in our room cos the dog kept farting and making her feel sick,,and she couldn't sleep on the sofa,,,,,,cos RINGO,,,our big black MALE cat had just had 4 kittens on it!!!!
Never a dull moment in our house
halocat2
As you know already,I am the youngest of 6 children born to a shortarse Matriarch Mum and ex policeman Dad,Dad didn't live at home with all of us,but we saw him all the time,he came back to live at the house when I was 12,for reasons I can't reveal.
Now,,picture the house,typical mid terrace,3 up,2 down,bathroom downstairs off kitchen (like that would be allowed nowadays) Actually,,thinking about it,the toilet was outside next to the coal shed and the walls knocked through to make a bathroom with a loo INSIDE !!,,We also had one of those loos where the cistern was 10ft in the air,,oh how the rich lived !!!
For a while my older sisters had the front room as their bedroom,not enough room upstairs and they didn't want to share with the younger ones. If they had a boyfriend round me and my sister K used to stand on windowsill in front garden and annoy them till they gave us 2 bob to bugger off lmao
I decided very early on that I didn't like sharing my bedroom with K,,I wanted to be near Mum,so bless her heart,Mum exchanged her big double bed for 2 singles and I moved in,and believe it or not I've never had my own bedroom since,always shared with someone (one time it was a bloody big dog!!)
So,time marches on,,the older siblings get married and moved out,the house became more roomy,and lo and behold,,Dad comes back,,but not to the marital bed (that had long gone) but to the middle bedroom,so my brother was in the back bedroom Dad in the middle and yet again K made the front room a bedroom.
We also had pets,,in particular our GSD Kim,beast of a boy,slept on my bed like a farting giant !! And our sleek slender black male cat,,RINGO (don't ask,,stupid name).
One weekend Lorraine was staying at ours,she was expecting and her husband was working away,Mum had had one her 'Van Gogh' moments and decided to paint the dining room,which was also the living room.So she slapped up her usual toxic concoction bought on the 'ask no questions'side of life.Stunk to high heaven but freshened up the walls (we all had fume fever but were told to stick heads out the window!)
So,,this Saturday night,,we all went to bed,,G in his back bedroom,Dad in middle,me Mum and the farting dog in the front bedroom and K downstairs with Lorraine as her lodger. Ringo the cat maraudering somewhere.
About 2am a very very dishevelled Lorraine comes storming into our room like a banshee,,long black hair all askew looking like Worzel Gummidge on acid !! Mum leapt out of bed thinking she was in labour,Lorraine charging round bedroom trying to get away from Mum who (as a midwife) was trying to grab her ankles and get her to brace for delivery,,Dad comes belting in,,vest and pants courtesy of Marks & Spencer (not a sight ANY child should witness,,I'm scarred,,I tell you).
Finally K appears in the mayhem and screams STOOOOOOOOOPPPPPP!!! which shocked everyone into silence.
Lorraine then explains her dilemma,,,she couldn't sleep with K,,cos she snores,she couldn't sleep with Dad or G for OBVIOUS reasons ,,she couldn't sleep in our room cos the dog kept farting and making her feel sick,,and she couldn't sleep on the sofa,,,,,,cos RINGO,,,our big black MALE cat had just had 4 kittens on it!!!!
Never a dull moment in our house
halocat2
But,,despite everything,I wouldn't change coming from a big family for a second x
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