a rant, by puff.

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Hey guys,

I'm just having a rant as there are things that are going through my head, and I have no where else to vent it.

Basically what has happened is, I have a friend, we used to live with him, and he is one of 8 boys. Through him I know have 8 brothers I love with all my heart. They are good ol' canadian boys, say Ma'am and Sir things like that.
You couldnt wish to meet nicer chaps, well.. last year the youngest boy was tragically killed in a road accident aged 17. It later emerged he has stolen a car and driven it in to a wall at speed (in Canada). An inquest took place and it was postponed for more evidence, then postponed a further 3 times. Poor Mum H has been through hell and back, and there is nothing i can do to help them.

They wrote to the coroner etc saying we need to know how our brother died, and they got replies saying about evidence and things. They got the call yesterday to say that it has emerged (nearly a year later) that Jay was moved to the driving seat, and that there were more than 2 people in the car.. im gutted for them.

Obviously I dont expect the LBs to get involved in Canadian law (dont.. its so confusing as its all state law and things) but I cant rant to the kids.. you cant tell an 8 year old 17 year olds die, if i try to talk to Mum its hes your ex your married now... so i ranted here.

Its more that the family are such good people, the sort if they had 1 egg left they would scramble it so you could share it. I feel for them and cant get to them.. canada is a bit far to come home to dinner, but i guess what im asking for is, if your religious please send them prayers.. if not send them some positivity, they are good good people who i love dearly.

thanks for letting me rant here.

P

[Sapphire]

Re: a rant, by puff.

Hi hun, thats a horrible thing to happen to them, of course our prayers and positive thoughts are sent theirs and your way.

Blimey this takes me back to years back when a few of us were on another site (before this one started) and my hubby's grandson was killed on a quad bike 3 days before his 18th birthday, then after a bit of hassle this site was formed and we came over here, in the years thats followed my hubby got seriously ill, then my mum died and last year I got cancer and got married, its amazing the comfort and support you can gain from people that you havn't met and of course a lot on here that I have met, I call you all my alternative family.

So you rant away hun as much as you like, we are all here to help and listen to each other, blimey you should have seen some of the rants I've done over the years, its amazing people still talk to me.

[Bill-K]

Re: a rant, by puff.

Hi Puff. That is an awful thing to have happen to anybody - but it really does hurt when these are people you know and love. I can only guess that his family may have thought it might be suicide, and that must be gut-wrenching in itself - causing feelings of guilt in addition to all the devastation. So, perhaps the time taken to get to the bottom of things has at least ruled that out - it's a small consolation, maybe.

As for yourself, you may be feeling guilty at not being able to help the family as much as you would wish. I can only suggest that, by doing all that you can, you are doing all that you can. That is enough - so try not to feel guilty.

I will think and pray about this family. Prayer does have power - of that I'm sure. Thank you for asking us to help in what little ways we can, and for sharing your pain here.

XXX

[TUTTSI]

Re: a rant, by puff.

My thoughts go out to you Puff....

I too soon after joing here my son went off the rails and left a note under my duvet cover to say he was going away for a few days and not to worry as he was going away to clear his head and that he was was not contactable. It then transpired he had also not told any of his friends. but as all good mums do I worried like mad.

With the help of beagles and the chatroom here with all the members helping me , I was at my lowest ebb I was beside myself with worry, and then my daughter decided to take an overdose and was rushed to hospital. I don't know what I would have done without my second family here here as they held me together throughout this ordeal. My son it turned out went off to Thailand as he was told by a girl he met on a holiday romance a year or so earlier that he had fathered her baby and he was so ashamed and confused he wanted to go and see if this was his baby. She convinced him it was his baby and he gave her all his money.... his business went down the tin pan alley and he was in the doldrums. He did eventually tell us about the baby when Charlie was 10 months old and from working out the babies age we do not feel the dates were good as 10/11 months pregnancy was not working out for me.

He eventually worked this out for himself as when he could not afford to send her anymore money she dumped him just like that. Hopefully he has learned his lesson now, but who knows.

It was the most traumatic time I had over a 2 week period. My daughter's life was only saved weith my quick thinking and I called an ambulance as soon as I saw her falling all over the place. Thankfully she is fine but kids do pull at your strings.

<<<< hugs >>>> xx

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: a rant, by puff.

thanks all

I will pass all your thoughts on to Mum H and the family, and yeh, i do feel guilty im not doing enough, but i spose thats a normal thing of having "family" on the other side of the world.

I think it was how long it all took to let them know that has upset me most, but at least we know it wasnt diliberate, that he didnt kill himself. And hopefully we can find out what actually happened to Jay. Hope so for Mum and their wonderful Dad.
He is the textbook perfect step-dad, took in 6 boys and when his own 2 arrived he treated them all the same!

thanks for the support

[bluebottle]

Re: a rant, by puff.

Puffrose,

I feel for you and your Canadian friends, I really do. I've had to break news like you describe in your post. It's awful having to do it and it's awful for those the deceased person has left behind.

Inquests are often adjourned for long periods to allow certain tests to be carried out. It's not the state being bloody-minded. They want to find out what happened as much as your friends and they won't release any details until they're absolutely 100% certain as to what happened.

Trying to explain why someone has died to an 8 year-old can be difficult. Perhaps, the best way is something along the following lines -

When people come into this world, they have a number of tasks they have to perform while they're alive. [Name of 17 year-old] completed his tasks early, so angels came to tell him that he could take a rest until they find some more tasks for him to carry out.

That's the best way I can think of explaining it to someone that young.

And Puffrose... it's okay to feel angry about what's happened. It shows you care.

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: a rant, by puff.

thanks BB!

Its a nice way to explain to a kiddy about it, and yeh i feel for the police that had to go to a few homes throughout canada to tell them all about the accident.
I know Drew was told and ran out the house, yelling something in french down the phone to his brother, leaving his poof boyfriend in the house saying I speak australian and english.. whats happened? am i cooking dinner?? and im sure Jay would have found that amusing!

I've been ringing them up and talking about stuff like, they went for pizza and Jay couldnt finish his so he put the leftovers in his pockets! Dad H's car stank like pizza hut for weeks!!!
and a story about a bear.. its funny as hell, so ive had a few smiles out of them!

Mum H says thanks to all that are thinking of her at this time, and sends her love and hugs.. she says if you are ever poorly and need a remedy let her know as her nickname is the Witch!

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: a rant, by puff.

just realised i put poof instead of POOR!! omg matty im sorry!!
i meant POOR boyfriend!!! msl:

good job hes got a fantastic sense of humour about that sort of thing!!

[bluebottle]

Re: a rant, by puff.

thanks BB!

Its a nice way to explain to a kiddy about it, and yeh i feel for the police that had to go to a few homes throughout canada to tell them all about the accident.
I know Drew was told and ran out the house, yelling something in french down the phone to his brother, leaving his poof boyfriend in the house saying I speak australian and english.. whats happened? am i cooking dinner?? and im sure Jay would have found that amusing!

I've been ringing them up and talking about stuff like, they went for pizza and Jay couldnt finish his so he put the leftovers in his pockets! Dad H's car stank like pizza hut for weeks!!!
and a story about a bear.. its funny as hell, so ive had a few smiles out of them!

Mum H says thanks to all that are thinking of her at this time, and sends her love and hugs.. she says if you are ever poorly and need a remedy let her know as her nickname is the Witch!

Charming! They haven't tied her to a ducking stool yet, have they? Only joking! I do Tarot and Angel readings and get accused of "doing the Devil's work" by people I can only describe as religious nutters. A lot of it is ignorance and being mislead by organised religion. I can't explain why, but Tarot is a very useful tool for helping others and so are Angels. Lovely beings, always full of love and light - and they've got a sense of humour, believe it or not.

If you ever see a flash of light (No, not the speed camera going off or lightning), that's an angel letting you know they're there.

If any LB members want a reading, please PM me.

[Bill-K]

Re: a rant, by puff.

Maybe we're going off at a tangent, but somehow, it seems appropriate to me. Back in my 'hippy' years, I searched - and I did not find. Wicca, white witches, etc., makes more sense to me now than it did back then.

I have always held the belief that - just because we cannot understand something, that doesn't mean it cannot exist, nor that it is evil. People with such gifts have my admiration (I was gonna say envy - but that's not nice). There is, I believe, something up there that we are not meant to understand. I can dig that. Religion seems to have been an attempt to understand - but understanding is the booby prize. Having an open mind and an open soul takes us further than that, I reckon.

[TUTTSI]

Re: a rant, by puff.

so being struck by lightening and killed is that the angel of death???

[Ruby]

Re: a rant, by puff.

Group hug everyone :tinysmile_grin_t: LB have saved my sanity on more occasions than I can count ......

[Bill-K]

Re: a rant, by puff.

so being struck by lightening and killed is that the angel of death???

Maybe. Maybe not. What label do we attach to that which we see as death ? The end of our existence ? The next step in our existence ?

I guess it really all depends upon what we define as 'Our Existence,' really. Does it begin and end here - in this place ? Some believe that to be so. I do not.

To me, the Angel of Death is symbolic of those souls who welcome us back to the realm of the truly living.

Blimey - I'm even scaring myself, now !!!

[bluebottle]

Re: a rant, by puff.

so being struck by lightening and killed is that the angel of death???

That's called being in the wrong place at the wrong time. LOL! Seriously, there is an angel of death called Azkiel, but they don't kill people - they escort the person's spirit from the Physical to the Spiritual Realm. Angels don't do death - they do only love and enlightenment.

[bluebottle]

Re: a rant, by puff.

Maybe. Maybe not. What label do we attach to that which we see as death ? The end of our existence ? The next step in our existence ?

I guess it really all depends upon what we define as 'Our Existence,' really. Does it begin and end here - in this place ? Some believe that to be so. I do not.

To me, the Angel of Death is symbolic of those souls who welcome us back to the realm of the truly living.

Blimey - I'm even scaring myself, now !!!

Hi Bill,

It is believed that, at the moment of our physical death, our spirit leaves the body and is met by Azkiel (dubbed the Angel of Death - see earlier post) or a loved one who has passed to the Spirit Realm who then escorts the spirit to the Spirit Realm which is a parallel world to our own. It is also believed we are all evolved spirits existing within a human body, learning and bettering ourselves with each reincarnation. The spirit is often referred to as the life force and is a mass of energy that experiences the Physical Realm through the human body it inhabits. What does this look like? In its pure state, a misty, white mass with a slight glow to it. And if you do happen to see one of these masses, it is unlikely you will be afraid.