Jokes with a twist

[Paule]

An elephant gets caught in a hunter's rope net.
She yells, "Help me, help me!"

Just then a mouse scampers up and says, "Well, I can chew through the rope, if you'll do something for me."

The elephant quickly agrees. "Sure, anything!" she says. So the mouse chews through the rope, then hops on the elephant's back, and they run into the jungle and everything's cool. The elephant says, "Wow, thanks, you really helped me out back there!" The mouse says, "Sure, no problem.

But now you have to do something for me." The elephant says, "Sure, what?" And the mouse replies, "Well, I want to **** you up the ass."

The elephant shudders and goes "Ugh!" Then she says, "Well, I mean, I guess you did save my life and everything, so I can't really say no, so I guess, I mean, okay, go ahead."

So the mouse positions himself behind the elephant and starts doing her.

Nearby, there's a monkey in a tree who sees what's going on, and he's just disgusted my the sight of this mouse doing the elephant through her back door.

He can't take it, so in his frustration, he picks up a coconut and throws it at them and it hits the elephant in the head, hard.

The elephant goes, "Owwww!"

And the mouse says, "Take it all, bitch."

************

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh--
Moo!

***********

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Schizophrenic interrupting cow.
Schizophrenic inter---
Meow!