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A family is at the dinner table.
The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts.
In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions".
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said,
"Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers,
"Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20s,
his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s,
it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree".
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."
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One particular Christmas a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then, Mrs Claus told him that her Mum was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. Then when he went to harness the reindeer, he found three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out heaven knows where. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys everywhere.
So, frustrated Santa went back into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that someone had drank all of his liquor and there was nothing left to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of pieces all over the kitchen floor. he went to get the broom and found that the mice had eaten the straw from which it was made.
Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cursed his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a wonderful day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
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The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts.
In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions".
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said,
"Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers,
"Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20s,
his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s,
it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree".
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."
****************************
One particular Christmas a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then, Mrs Claus told him that her Mum was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. Then when he went to harness the reindeer, he found three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out heaven knows where. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys everywhere.
So, frustrated Santa went back into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that someone had drank all of his liquor and there was nothing left to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of pieces all over the kitchen floor. he went to get the broom and found that the mice had eaten the straw from which it was made.
Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cursed his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a wonderful day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
********************************
