Thoughts for the Weekend ....

[Amethyst]

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.



Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.



There are 2 kinds of pedestrians - the quick and the dead.



Life is sexually transmitted.


Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.



The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.



Get the last word in; apologise.



Have you noticed since everyone has a camera phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they use to?



Why does a slight tax increase cost you £200 and a substantial tax cut saves you £0.30p



In the 1960s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.



How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a barbecue?

[Guest]

Excellent. The one about tax cuts amused me and reminded me of this one, that was sent to me a few years ago.


How tax works in terms everyone can understand.

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner. The bill for all ten comes to £100. If they paid their bill the way we pay tax, it would go something like this:

The first four men — the poorest — would pay nothing; the fifth would pay £1, the sixth would pay £3, the seventh £7, the eighth £12, the ninth £18, and the tenth man — the richest — would pay £59.

That’s what they decided to do. The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement — until one day, the owner threw them a curve (in tax language a tax cut).

“Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by £20.” So now dinner for the ten only cost £80.00.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay tax. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free. But what about the other six — the paying customers? How could they divvy up the £20 windfall so that everyone would get his “fair share?”

The six men realized that £20 divided by six is £3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, Then the fifth man and the sixth man would end up being paid to eat their meal. So the restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so the fifth man paid nothing, the sixth pitched in £2, the seventh paid £5, the eighth paid £9, the ninth paid £12, leaving the tenth man with a bill of £52 instead of his earlier £59. Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to eat for free.

But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

“I only got a pound out of the £20,” declared the sixth man who pointed to the tenth. “But he got £7!”

“Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man, “I only saved a pound, too . . . It’s unfair that he got seven times more than me!”.

“That’s true!” shouted the seventh man, “why should he get £7 back when I got only £2? The wealthy get all the breaks!”

“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison, “We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!”

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night he didn’t show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered, a little late what was very important. They were fifty two pounds short of paying the bill!

And that, boys and girls, is how the tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore.

[iancognito]

Ah but Cet, what your little story forgets is that the rich man would actually be able to claim a refund for the petrol he used to drive to the restaurant, claim the VAT back on his £52 share, claim further discounts for his Armani suit and Laban pen with which he would write the cheque from his offshore bank account and negotiate a 15% discount with the owner of the restaurant, the poor guys would still pay nothing, leaving the guys in the middle picking up the bulk of the bill - again!!!!

[Guest]

Ah but Cet, what your little story forgets is that the rich man would actually be able to claim a refund for the petrol he used to drive to the restaurant only if it was a ligitimate business trip, which it was not, it was just dinner with some friends - and where would he claim it from?, claim the VAT back on his £52 share not so, even if he could claim that it was a necessary business expense you may not claim back VAT on entertainment costs, claim further discounts for his Armani suit and Laban pen anyone can negotiate discounts, I do it all the time with which he would write the cheque from his offshore bank account no comment and negotiate a 15% discount with the owner of the restaurant, again, anyone can negotiate discounts the poor guys would still pay nothing, leaving the guys in the middle picking up the bulk of the bill - again!!!!

Not so, the guys in the middle paid £28 and one more than last time ate for free. £28 represents just over half of what the rich guy paid on his own, yet that £28 "burden" was shared among four diners.

Just how is that unfair again?

If you don't like it, there is a simple answer...

...be rich.

[theGobbyOne]

Cet do you think of anything else but money mate???????????? I bet you count yours as foreplay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[iancognito]

I bet you count yours as foreplay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sounds like my kinda guy!!

[theGobbyOne]

ffs jan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!