Tweet
[IMG]http://hits.guardian.co.uk/b/ss/guardiangu-feeds/1/H.22.2/74808?ns=guardian&pageName=Dear+Jeremy+*+your+work +issues+solved%3AArticle%3A1627155&ch=Money&c3=Gua rdian&c4=Redundancy+%28Money%29%2CWork+and+careers %2CMoney&c5=Personal+Finance%2CNot+commercially+us eful&c6=Jeremy+Bullmore&c7=11-Sep-05&c8=1627155&c9=Article&c10=Feature%2CLetter&c11= Money&c13=Dear+Jeremy&c25=&c30=content&h2=GU%2FMon ey%2FRedundancy[/IMG]
Problems at work? Need advice? Our agony uncle – and readers – have the answers
Ever since being made redundant I've lost all of my confidence
I was made redundant six months ago and have been unemployed ever since. Losing my job had more of an impact than I thought it would, and I find myself completely bereft of confidence. Two frankly humiliating interview experiences, in which I was inarticulate and timid, have made this worse. I'm at the point where I would now dread, rather than relish, another invitation to interview.
How can I pull myself out of this vicious cycle? I'd like to know of any practical steps I can take to restore my confidence and to prevent me sabotaging my chances of landing a job.
Jeremy says:
It's clear, and not only from my correspondence, that this form of fear is far from uncommon – and can have an utterly paralysing and self-defeating effect. Less well-recognised is the damage it does, not just to the prospects of the luckless interviewee but also to the potential employer. No one's ever established a perfect correlation between those who interview impressively and those who, when taken on, perform impressively. So there's little doubt that the interview filter, necessary though it is, frequently eliminates candidates who could have been of real value to the recruiting firm.
By far the best advice I can offer is someone else's. Late last year I was asked to read a pre-publication copy of a book called Job Interview Success, by Jenny Rogers (McGraw Hill). I did – and was impressed.
Its subtitle is Be Your Own Coach – and that's exactly what this no-nonsense book enables you to be. At first you'll be tempted to turn to the chapter devoted to managing nervousness, and you'll certainly find it reassuring and full of practical and sympathetic advice. But my guess is that your real confidence will come from much of the rest of the book as well, dealing as it does with every aspect of the job interview, from the value of preliminary research all the way though to dressing the part, body language and dealing with difficult questions.
Jenny Rogers is a highly experienced and well-respected coach. She shows you, for example, how simple breathing exercises can effectively reduce fear and apprehension and instil self-assurance. And that's exactly the effect that a thorough immersion in this book should do for you, too.
Best of all, it doesn't ask you to put on an act or pretend to be what you're not. A good interview manner allows the real person to shine through – and to be evaluated for what they really are rather than what the highly artificial circumstances of an interview may frighten them into appearing to be.
Readers say:
• An invitation to interview means you were chosen, probably from a far larger list of candidates. That means a prospective employer already believes you can do the job – they just want to see what they have detected on paper, in the flesh. With that in mind, don't fret. Just get a haircut, polish your shoes, do your background research information on the organisation, have a few sensible questions to ask, and relax. Sometimes homely old adages such as "if it is meant for you, it won't go past you" are true, because they are … true. Patrick Toland, via email
• I can understand your interview fear – I always felt I was terrible at them. What really helped me (strangely) was having to do about seven interviews in the space of two weeks. I wanted to space them out more but the companies wouldn't agree. By the end of the second week I realised I'd internalised my "story" and stock answers to the usual questions. I was dealing with them on autopilot and so nerves weren't a problem any more, it all felt natural. It freed my preparation time up for research about the specifics of any role I was coming up for and the company itself. Go to lots of interviews with agencies as they'll probably ask similar questions to real interviewers. normskii
• Read through the job advert, as hopefully this lists essential and desirable skills and abilities. For each, think of a situation where you have used the relevant skill or ability – write it down (the STAR format is handy: what was the Situation, what was your specific Task, what Action did you take, what was the Result). Write down a couple of negatives as well: projects that went wrong, what could have been done differently, what did you learn.
Practise speaking about all the points. You probably won't cover every question that comes up but you should have a handy set of things you can talk about with ease. renniek
I think I'm going to be fired. Should this job still go on my résumé?
I started a job in the US in April but have clashed with my boss repeatedly. This culminated in an extremely negative – and, in my eyes, somewhat unfair – three-month review. My next review will be at the five-month mark in September, and I'm sure I'm on the path to termination due to the paper trail the company is laying and the exaggerations that are written about me.
I have two questions: first, is it better to quit instead of being terminated? The thing is, if I'm let go I may still qualify for unemployment benefits (I have been saving the evidence of the praise I have received for some projects, and am filing responses/complaints about the misrepresentations I see in the review).
My second question is, as I look for a new job should I include this one on my résumé? On the one hand, I don't want to explain such a long gap (I was unemployed for six months before starting this job,) but on the other hand, what would I tell people who ask why I am already looking? And should I list the job if I am let go, as I expect, in September?
Jeremy says:
If you list this job in your résumé, as I believe you should, any prospective employer is going to want to know, as indeed I do, just why you've repeatedly clashed with your boss.
This may be an oversimplification, but it seems to me that there are two broad categories of explanation: and one's a good deal more respectable than the other.
Just weeks into a new job, and after six months of unemployment, you thought you knew better than your boss; and so you regularly questioned his working methods and his instructions. Your boss, entirely understandably, didn't just thank you for your constructive contributions and amend his ways: he disagreed with your disagreements – and so you repeatedly clashed.
It hardly matters whether you were right or wrong in the suggestions you made. Either way, you should have realised that it was far too early to make them. However sound they may have been (and the chances are that not all of them were) their credibility would have been totally undermined by your inexperience. You showed at best an absence of judgment and at worst a toxic combination of ignorance and arrogance.
The more respectable reason for those clashes could have been a real problem you had with your boss's way of doing things; his own behaviour, his treatment of others, his exploitation of suppliers, for example. But if this was the case, surely you'd have mentioned it to me?
To answer your questions: yes, I do think you should wait to see if you're terminated. And if you are, you should listen very carefully indeed to the reasons given and not be tempted to dismiss them instantly as grossly unfair. And yes, you should include this job on your résumé, for at least two reasons.
First, as you already recognise, a full year's unemployment is more difficult to explain away; and secondly, it gives you an opportunity, which I very much hope you take, to come absolutely clean about your strengths and weaknesses. You know you're good at what you do and you've got evidence from your appraisals that, despite letting you go, even your last employers recognised your ability. You've also learned a lesson or two: not, I stress, that you should be humble and submissive, but that any criticism from below needs to be not only extremely well-founded but also thoughtfully and constructively presented.
Readers say:
• Don't leave it off your CV or avoid it if asked in an interview. Personality clashes happen and if your employment record before that is good then I don't think it will hamper you. There is a good chance your interviewers will have had a similar experience themselves. Explain what happened and how you would approach the situation now, highlighting what you have learned. No matter how unfair it all is don't dwell on it for the rest of your life. Some people are just obnoxious – most are not. summerglue
For Jeremy Bullmore's advice on a work issue, send a brief email to dear.jeremy@guardian.co.uk. Please note that he is unable to answer questions of a legal nature or reply personally.
Read next week's problems on the Work blog from Monday and post your advice – we'll run the best of it alongside Jeremy's in next Saturday's column.
Jeremy Bullmore
guardian.co.uk © 2011 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds
</img>
</img>
More...
Problems at work? Need advice? Our agony uncle – and readers – have the answers
Ever since being made redundant I've lost all of my confidence
I was made redundant six months ago and have been unemployed ever since. Losing my job had more of an impact than I thought it would, and I find myself completely bereft of confidence. Two frankly humiliating interview experiences, in which I was inarticulate and timid, have made this worse. I'm at the point where I would now dread, rather than relish, another invitation to interview.
How can I pull myself out of this vicious cycle? I'd like to know of any practical steps I can take to restore my confidence and to prevent me sabotaging my chances of landing a job.
Jeremy says:
It's clear, and not only from my correspondence, that this form of fear is far from uncommon – and can have an utterly paralysing and self-defeating effect. Less well-recognised is the damage it does, not just to the prospects of the luckless interviewee but also to the potential employer. No one's ever established a perfect correlation between those who interview impressively and those who, when taken on, perform impressively. So there's little doubt that the interview filter, necessary though it is, frequently eliminates candidates who could have been of real value to the recruiting firm.
By far the best advice I can offer is someone else's. Late last year I was asked to read a pre-publication copy of a book called Job Interview Success, by Jenny Rogers (McGraw Hill). I did – and was impressed.
Its subtitle is Be Your Own Coach – and that's exactly what this no-nonsense book enables you to be. At first you'll be tempted to turn to the chapter devoted to managing nervousness, and you'll certainly find it reassuring and full of practical and sympathetic advice. But my guess is that your real confidence will come from much of the rest of the book as well, dealing as it does with every aspect of the job interview, from the value of preliminary research all the way though to dressing the part, body language and dealing with difficult questions.
Jenny Rogers is a highly experienced and well-respected coach. She shows you, for example, how simple breathing exercises can effectively reduce fear and apprehension and instil self-assurance. And that's exactly the effect that a thorough immersion in this book should do for you, too.
Best of all, it doesn't ask you to put on an act or pretend to be what you're not. A good interview manner allows the real person to shine through – and to be evaluated for what they really are rather than what the highly artificial circumstances of an interview may frighten them into appearing to be.
Readers say:
• An invitation to interview means you were chosen, probably from a far larger list of candidates. That means a prospective employer already believes you can do the job – they just want to see what they have detected on paper, in the flesh. With that in mind, don't fret. Just get a haircut, polish your shoes, do your background research information on the organisation, have a few sensible questions to ask, and relax. Sometimes homely old adages such as "if it is meant for you, it won't go past you" are true, because they are … true. Patrick Toland, via email
• I can understand your interview fear – I always felt I was terrible at them. What really helped me (strangely) was having to do about seven interviews in the space of two weeks. I wanted to space them out more but the companies wouldn't agree. By the end of the second week I realised I'd internalised my "story" and stock answers to the usual questions. I was dealing with them on autopilot and so nerves weren't a problem any more, it all felt natural. It freed my preparation time up for research about the specifics of any role I was coming up for and the company itself. Go to lots of interviews with agencies as they'll probably ask similar questions to real interviewers. normskii
• Read through the job advert, as hopefully this lists essential and desirable skills and abilities. For each, think of a situation where you have used the relevant skill or ability – write it down (the STAR format is handy: what was the Situation, what was your specific Task, what Action did you take, what was the Result). Write down a couple of negatives as well: projects that went wrong, what could have been done differently, what did you learn.
Practise speaking about all the points. You probably won't cover every question that comes up but you should have a handy set of things you can talk about with ease. renniek
I think I'm going to be fired. Should this job still go on my résumé?
I started a job in the US in April but have clashed with my boss repeatedly. This culminated in an extremely negative – and, in my eyes, somewhat unfair – three-month review. My next review will be at the five-month mark in September, and I'm sure I'm on the path to termination due to the paper trail the company is laying and the exaggerations that are written about me.
I have two questions: first, is it better to quit instead of being terminated? The thing is, if I'm let go I may still qualify for unemployment benefits (I have been saving the evidence of the praise I have received for some projects, and am filing responses/complaints about the misrepresentations I see in the review).
My second question is, as I look for a new job should I include this one on my résumé? On the one hand, I don't want to explain such a long gap (I was unemployed for six months before starting this job,) but on the other hand, what would I tell people who ask why I am already looking? And should I list the job if I am let go, as I expect, in September?
Jeremy says:
If you list this job in your résumé, as I believe you should, any prospective employer is going to want to know, as indeed I do, just why you've repeatedly clashed with your boss.
This may be an oversimplification, but it seems to me that there are two broad categories of explanation: and one's a good deal more respectable than the other.
Just weeks into a new job, and after six months of unemployment, you thought you knew better than your boss; and so you regularly questioned his working methods and his instructions. Your boss, entirely understandably, didn't just thank you for your constructive contributions and amend his ways: he disagreed with your disagreements – and so you repeatedly clashed.
It hardly matters whether you were right or wrong in the suggestions you made. Either way, you should have realised that it was far too early to make them. However sound they may have been (and the chances are that not all of them were) their credibility would have been totally undermined by your inexperience. You showed at best an absence of judgment and at worst a toxic combination of ignorance and arrogance.
The more respectable reason for those clashes could have been a real problem you had with your boss's way of doing things; his own behaviour, his treatment of others, his exploitation of suppliers, for example. But if this was the case, surely you'd have mentioned it to me?
To answer your questions: yes, I do think you should wait to see if you're terminated. And if you are, you should listen very carefully indeed to the reasons given and not be tempted to dismiss them instantly as grossly unfair. And yes, you should include this job on your résumé, for at least two reasons.
First, as you already recognise, a full year's unemployment is more difficult to explain away; and secondly, it gives you an opportunity, which I very much hope you take, to come absolutely clean about your strengths and weaknesses. You know you're good at what you do and you've got evidence from your appraisals that, despite letting you go, even your last employers recognised your ability. You've also learned a lesson or two: not, I stress, that you should be humble and submissive, but that any criticism from below needs to be not only extremely well-founded but also thoughtfully and constructively presented.
Readers say:
• Don't leave it off your CV or avoid it if asked in an interview. Personality clashes happen and if your employment record before that is good then I don't think it will hamper you. There is a good chance your interviewers will have had a similar experience themselves. Explain what happened and how you would approach the situation now, highlighting what you have learned. No matter how unfair it all is don't dwell on it for the rest of your life. Some people are just obnoxious – most are not. summerglue
For Jeremy Bullmore's advice on a work issue, send a brief email to dear.jeremy@guardian.co.uk. Please note that he is unable to answer questions of a legal nature or reply personally.
Read next week's problems on the Work blog from Monday and post your advice – we'll run the best of it alongside Jeremy's in next Saturday's column.
Jeremy Bullmore
guardian.co.uk © 2011 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds
More...
