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At least we have a number to work with. It is estimated that the banking crisis has resulted in worldwide losses totalling $2.8 trillion. That may seem like an awful lot, but it actually works out at just $418 (approximately £418 by the time you read this) per human. You could raise that with a swearbox in a matter of months. Of course there will be some folk - remote island dwellers, the under-fours, etc - who maintain that since they played no part in the financial meltdown, they shouldn't have to pay anything. In any group of 6.7 billion people, you're always going to have a few hundred million shirkers. That's not an excuse for the rest of us, however. Cheques payable to the chancellor of the exchequer, please. Let's put this behind us.
For the moment the future looks like a particularly disjointed Magic Eye picture: it can be difficult to spot the leaping dolphin of good news inside the random shards of financial chaos and ruin. But don't give up - just squint a little harder, and try to focus on a random point midway between the disastrous present and the third fiscal quarter of 2011. Do you see it yet?
There! A new study by the TUC shows us that, whatever else may be wrong in the world of employment, average commuting times have fallen for the first time in a decade. The number of commuters who spend more than an hour travelling to work is down 1%; in London it's dropped from 47% to just 40%. And these figures are from 2007. Just imagine the decreases over the next six months!
Recession-busting tip: Those old DVDs that have been used to scare birds on allotments all summer have done their work. It is now time to harvest them, dry them thoroughly and watch them again.
What's going cheap right now: Sandals, tinned hot dogs, sheds, ice.
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