Tweet
My father to whom I was very close passed away suddenly recently leaving his partner of 20years. They were both widowed & lived together in her home which she owned outright & although they shared their lives as man and wife & were known as a couple they had seperate finances. He paid his share of all the household bills, paid for the car & its upkeep (she didnt drive) & he paid all the food bills, she paid for all the household repairs and maintenance as required, he upkept the large garden & was her carer as her health deteriorated over the years . They were very different, her being an old fashioned fuss pot and him being kind, active and young at heart who loved being involved with his great grandchildren, for this reason they spent Christmas apart each with thier respective families & bought presents only for their own families. We all got on ok & both families visited weekly but on seperate days & we were only ever guests in her house not visitors to my dads home. She was 10 years his senior & it was always understood that if anything happened & there would be no proviso for my dad.
When my dad recently became ill for the first time in his entire life she got panicky stating he was no use to her now & her family wanted him removed from the home refering to him as just a lodger & not her responsibility. He had been ill for literally just six short weeks & we were in the process of planning his move into a sheltered flat & to live with me in the interim while he recovered when he sadly died. Dad had no savings or assets & only received his weekly pension as income but he left a will naming me as executor & sole beneficiary to anything he might own. Unable to locate any life insurance for him I of course took full responsibility for his funeral etc.
She was reluctant to let me have any of his possessions from the property (which are very few for a man his age) she insisted her sons sort his belongings but I insisted they do not throw anything of his away without my say so & fortunately he had provided a list of larger items of his that he planned to bring when eventually moved, with prompting they have given most items to me now boxed up.
My only issue is she is refusing to let my son have an item he gave to his grandad as a Christmas present. She is saying it was a joint present to them both from my son which is simply not true. She has never given my son or his young family any gifts over the years, none of us from either family ever participated in exchanging gifts, she was very pedantic about that, it was never a problem just something that neither family did. The item means a lot to my son & is of no value or use to her & she has many momentoes of my father from the years they shared. Her own son says she wants to keep it & that my son can have it when she dies. This is rediculous as by then it will have lost any sentimental connnection to my dad & we have already lost contact with her family.
Please can anyone advise if she is entitled to keep this item irrespective of whether she was his partner or landlady? What is the usual procedure when dividing gifts given by family members? I know they would never have allowed my dad to take any items her family had gifted to them jointly or otherwise nor would he expect to. As executor and sole beneficiary is it not my right to decide what happens to his possessions.? I am lost & heartbroken without my dad so I appologise for rambling & if this sounds petty to some but it is making me & my son sad & I would appreciate fair advice however blunt. Thankyou for reading.
When my dad recently became ill for the first time in his entire life she got panicky stating he was no use to her now & her family wanted him removed from the home refering to him as just a lodger & not her responsibility. He had been ill for literally just six short weeks & we were in the process of planning his move into a sheltered flat & to live with me in the interim while he recovered when he sadly died. Dad had no savings or assets & only received his weekly pension as income but he left a will naming me as executor & sole beneficiary to anything he might own. Unable to locate any life insurance for him I of course took full responsibility for his funeral etc.
She was reluctant to let me have any of his possessions from the property (which are very few for a man his age) she insisted her sons sort his belongings but I insisted they do not throw anything of his away without my say so & fortunately he had provided a list of larger items of his that he planned to bring when eventually moved, with prompting they have given most items to me now boxed up.
My only issue is she is refusing to let my son have an item he gave to his grandad as a Christmas present. She is saying it was a joint present to them both from my son which is simply not true. She has never given my son or his young family any gifts over the years, none of us from either family ever participated in exchanging gifts, she was very pedantic about that, it was never a problem just something that neither family did. The item means a lot to my son & is of no value or use to her & she has many momentoes of my father from the years they shared. Her own son says she wants to keep it & that my son can have it when she dies. This is rediculous as by then it will have lost any sentimental connnection to my dad & we have already lost contact with her family.
Please can anyone advise if she is entitled to keep this item irrespective of whether she was his partner or landlady? What is the usual procedure when dividing gifts given by family members? I know they would never have allowed my dad to take any items her family had gifted to them jointly or otherwise nor would he expect to. As executor and sole beneficiary is it not my right to decide what happens to his possessions.? I am lost & heartbroken without my dad so I appologise for rambling & if this sounds petty to some but it is making me & my son sad & I would appreciate fair advice however blunt. Thankyou for reading.
Comment