Mums with dementia has changed Will..

[redrose281]

This is quite long, so please bear with me.
In 2018 my Father sadly passed away and Mum took the decision to make a new Will for herself.

To give you some background, over the years I have helped Mum and Dad out financially as I had been left money by my Late Husband and they were struggling. I'm not taking a few hundred here and there, but tens of thousands. Mum and Dad had a joint Will in which they left me 10,000.00 at 8% interest per year, this didn't cover anywhere near what they'd had off me, but to give me any more would mean the surviving partner would have had to sell the home to pay me off and I didn't want that.

After Dad died, Mum made a new Will with Solicitors to reflect what I'd done for her and Dad from 1990 to the present day. Mum also did a Letter of Wishes to explain her decision to my siblings.

The following year, Mum had a stroke and then was diagnosed with early onset dementia.

Mums dementia has progressed but she still has lucid moments and recently in one of her lucid moments, she asked me to take all of her paperwork to my home for safekeeping, but first she asked me to go through it and amongst the papers, was an invoice for the same solicitors as had done her Will . I asked Mum what it was for as it was roughly the same amount as her Will costs for 2018, but this was dated 2020. It is my belief that she has been bullied by my siblings into changing her Will.

I don't want to upset my Mum by asking if she's changed her Will, and why , but if it's been changed, it was changed during lockdown and by this time Mum had been diagnosed as having dementia.

I feel as though I have been kicked in the stomach I am so hurt in that I never pushed Mum and Dad for any money back that they'd had off me, but they always told me I would be looked after in their Will and they'd made me Executor of their joint Will, then Mum made me Sole Executor of her Will and I strongly suspect now that has now been changed.

Please can anyone tell me what , if anything, I can do. I know It's up to people who they leave their Estate to, but Mums 2018 Will was repaying me monies owed basically....I am really struggling now financially due to circumstances beyond my control and the only thing keeping me going was knowing I'd be getting some of the money back that I'd helped Mum and Dad out with but I fear that has now changed

[Pezza54]

As you didn't find any wills amongst your mum's papers, you could ask her where her will is kept.
If she says she can't recall where it is, you could contact the solicitor. Explain you believe you are the named executor in your mum's latest will, that your mum is unable to remember where the will is kept, and ask if they are in possession of her will.
Although a will is a private document, you would hope a solicitor would tell an executor if they are storing the will. Otherwise the executor could waste a lot of time trying to find the deceased's will

[redrose281]

Thank you Pezza54 for your advice, I appreciate it.

I've asked Mum where her Will was kept and she can't remember, so she asked me to get her Will from the Solicitors. I telephoned the Solicitors and Mum gave them permission to speak to me. They said Mum can pick the Will up on Monday, I explained that Mum is now immobile and housebound, but asked..would it be OK if I could pick it up and would take a letter of authority signed by Mum along with I.d. I was only able to speak to the receptionist and she asked me to call back on Monday when they would be able to tell me what was needed to pick the Will up on Mums behalf.

Can anyone please tell me in advance what I would need to be able to pick Mums Will up on her behalf , just so I can ensure I have everything I need before going on Monday.

Many thanks.

[Pezza54]

Photo ID (driving licence or passport) to prove you are who you say you are
Marriage certificate or birth certificate to prove you are the testator's daughter.
The solicitor will probably give you the will in a sealed envelope. If, when you hand it to your mother she thanks you and puts it to one side you should ask her to open the envelope to make sure it is the correct document.

[redrose281]

Thank you Pezza54 for your help. Unfortunately I don't have photo I.D , I still have my old paper licence and don't have a passport as I only holiday in the UK, I have my birth certificate obviously, will I be unable to collect the Will without photo I.D?
Many thanks again

[Pezza54]

Phone the solicitor before you go to check. Shouldn't be a problem. They may ask you to bring a council tax or utility company bill

[Pezza54]

You should think about getting photo ID for the future, especially if you find out you are still the named executor in your mum's will. You may need it when the sad time comes

[redrose281]

Thank you so much @Pezzaz54 , I really am so grateful. Yes, this week's job is to get photo i. d , it's only vanity that's stopped me up to now in that I keep thinking I will lose a bit of weight before I commit to photo i. d that I will be stuck with for years

[redrose281]

Hi Pezza54 , The Will has been picked up for Mum and she isn't happy with its content now so wishes to revert to the terms of her previous Will. Would she be better to make a totally new Will with a different firm of Solicitors, or to ask the Solicitors who did this Will to amend it? Mum is saying she wants to use a different Solicitors firm but is anxious that I don't have any hassle after she has gone so wants go with whichever is least likely to be successfully contested by any beneficiaries. What is your opinion please?

[Pezza54]

You said your mum's dementia has progressed, so a medical report stating she has the mental capacity to make a will would be very useful in the event her new will is challenged.
Try contacting a few solicitors, explain your concern about your mum's mental health and ask if they will carry out a test to ensure she has sufficient understanding of what she is saying and agreeing to before making the will. Although you may be present you should not attempt to prompt your mum.
Your chosen solicitor should take notes and file them safely in case your mum's will is challenged.

[redrose281]

Thank you Pezza54 , that is valuable advice . I shall contact some Solicitors to enquire about the likelihood of them taking such tests on Mum. I should point out though that Mum hasn't had an MRI or CT scan to confirm dementia as she couldn't tolerate these scans due to extreme claustrophobia, but it is the opinion of her GP that she has dementia.

In the meantime, can I ask your opinion as to whether, (if Mum is deemed mentally fit to make such decisions) Mum should just change her Will with the Solicitors who made her original Will, or make an entirely new Will with a different firm of Solicitors.

Thanking you in anticipation.

[atticus]

Spammer reported

[redrose281]

Hi atticus

I have just seen your post regarding a spammer being reported, do you mean I'm a spammer? If so, I honestly am not, I'm just an unlucky person who has more problems than most

[atticus]

no, not you redrose281. The spam post has obviously been deleted. I mentioned it as I didn't want you following lousy advice.

[redrose281]

Hi atticus

Thank you for clarifying that and for looking out for me, I'm very grateful.